Thema Bryant - Homecoming : Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self

In West Africa, the story is told of an animal expert. This expert knew every animal in the bush. In America, you say forest , but the real word is bush . One day, as this expert was walking, he passed a farm. In the back of the farm, he saw so so chickens, and in the middle of the chickens was an eagle. The man was vexed to see the eagle acting like a chicken. He went to the front of the farm and knocked on the farmers door.

He said, Bop bop. In America you say knock, knock , but the real sound is bop bop . The man inside said, Who that? The man outside said, That me. You must open the door and see.

The farmer opened the door and said, Whats your business here? The man outside said, Im an animal expert, and I see that behind your farm, you have so so chickens, but in the middle is one eagle.

The farmer said, No, I dont have any eagles. Only chickens. The expert said, Let me show you.

They walked to the back of the farm, and the expert picked up the eagle and said, Listen to me. Youre an eagle. You can fly. Theyre chickens. They cant fly. So go now and fly.

The eagle looked at the man and then looked down at his chicken brothers and sisters eating their chicken food. He hopped off the mans arm and started eating the food. The farmer laughed at the expert and said, I told you. I dont have any eagles. The expert was shamed and vexed. He said, Im coming to go.

He left the farm. The next day he came back so early in the morning that God was not awake yet. He knocked at the farmers door. The farmer was frustrated but let him in. He walked to the back of the farm and picked up the eagle. He climbed on top of the barn. He told the eagle, All your life people have treated you like chicken. They taught you to talk like chicken and eat like chicken and think like chicken, but youre not a chicken. Youre an eagle. You can fly now, so fly.

At that moment the sun started to rise. The animal expert said, You see how far that sun is? You can go there. Now fly. The eagle thought, This man will come bother me every day until I try this thing, so let me try. He stretched his wings, and my people, you have never seen such a beautiful sight. The eagle flew toward the sun, and the farmer never saw him again.

The eagle made it home. He made it back to the truth of who he was. This is homecoming. I wrote this book for all of you who at different points in your life have found yourself living like someone you are not. You may have started acting different because of how you were treated, or what other people told you about yourself, or how you saw others acting. You have not felt comfortable or safe enough to truly be yourself or to feel at home in your identity. The recognized and unrecognized traumas of your past may have taught you to hide your gifts and voice in order to survive. This book facilitates your journey back to who you really are, so you can own your full identity and fly.

As a psychologist and a minister, I enter into spaces where people have been wounded when others have tried to define, limit, or erase them. Yet I see people as much more than the sum of the injustices and invalidations they have faced. In writing this book, I have the same hopeful conviction that you can heal the wounds of your past and journey back home to your authentic self. I wrote this book because I believe each of us can live more connected and in tune with our authentic selves. Daring to live authentically is so important because you come to realize that despite the ways you may have been derailed by adversity, you can genuinely love and accept yourself. This is liberating. I am so glad a part of you believes homecoming, or living authentically, is important, too.

Your decision to show up for this process is an important step as you acknowledge the desire for a more authentic, fulfilling, and centered life. A centered life is one that is grounded in your core values rather than changing based on the most recent trend, compliment, or outside expectation. I invite you to take a sacred breath. In this moment as we start the journey, give yourself permission to become aware of the ways you may have lost sight of yourself. Homecoming begins as you set an intention to reconnect to yourself, to acknowledge and heal the disconnection so you can be your authentic self againor for the first time. The stress and traumas of life may have disconnected you from your sense of self, your confidence, and even your thoughts and feelings. As you heal and grow, you get to a place of appreciating and honoring yourself in mind, body, heart, and spirit.

You may be homesick, longing for your psychological home, which is not based on geography or a physical living space, but your interior lifeit is the ability to know, honor, appreciate, and love yourself wherever you are. You are a sacred being, worthy of care and compassion, and you are not alone. Cojourners is the term I use to describe our communitythose who are somewhere on the journey between disconnection and reconnection, between wandering and grounded, and between homesick and homecoming. Each person reading this book along with you has had some experiences that took them off course. Those experiences may have occurred years ago during childhood or as recently as this month. There are also some who, like me, have had multiple points of disconnection. There may have been major roadblocks in your journey, or a series of potholes and speed bumps that slowed you down. Regardless of the path that led us here, we can make this journey togetherthe journey home to our authentic selves.