Feliciano - This Book Wont Make You Happy : Eight Keys to Finding True Contentment

Praise for This Book Wont Make You Happy: Eight Keys to Finding True Contentment

This book grabbed me from the very beginning. It is thought-provoking, insightful, full of practical tidbits, and a fun read.

Dr. Leah Katz, psychologist and author of Gutsy: Mindfulness Practices for Everyday Bravery

A refreshingly novel twist on how to find happiness, based not on what happens in your life but how you relate to it. Id highly recommend this book to anyone trying to find more ease and contentment in their daily life.

Dr. Kristin Neff, author of Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind To Yourself and associate professor at University of Texas at Austin

While this book might not make us happy, it does give us a path to what we need even more, contentment. Niro Feliciano writes with laugh-out-loud and relatable humor, honesty, intellect, and practical wisdom. She challenges our desire for a normal life, and instead invites us to a life of health and wholeness. This book is a welcoming and timely guide to a life worth living.

Amy Julia Becker, speaker and award-winning author of many books, including To Be Made Well and A Good and Perfect Gift

Niro Felicianos work is relatable and compelling. Shes a busy mom going in four separate directions, a wife who loves her husband, a friend who lends a listening ear, and a therapist who puts patients needs first. I appreciate her humor and grace, and cherish the space she gives us in this book to share her insights.

Dr. Katie Takayasu, physician, speaker, and author of Plants First

Niro Feliciano is a down-to-earth authority on how we can best care for our mental well-being. Genuinely invested in supporting everyone facing unprecedented levels of anxiety and stress, Feliciano has a relatable, soothing, and valuable voice. Anyone seeking more contentment would benefit from her personal wisdom and research-based methods.

Maressa Brown, journalist, author, and contributor to Parents.com

Any conversation with Niro Feliciano is refreshing, challenging, and transformative. Her style of speaking and engagement transfers beautifully to the written word. Not only will you see yourself in her heartwarming and honest stories; you will begin to find a pathway to living with contentment.

Brenda Thorn, J.D., executive pastor and care director, Hillsong East Coast

One of the great new voices to emerge in our cultural crisis of anxiety is Niro Feliciano. There is nothing more elusive in our agitated culture than contentment. We all want it. In This Book Wont Make You Happy, Feliciano clears the path and walks you directly to it.

Rob Strong, pastor and author of The Big Guy Upstairs: You, Him, and How It All Works

Niro Feliciano, LCSW

Broadleaf Books

Minneapolis

THIS BOOK WONT MAKE YOU HAPPY

Eight Keys to Finding True Contentment

Copyright 2022 Niro Feliciano. Printed by Broadleaf Books, an imprint of 1517 Media. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Email or write to Permissions, Broadleaf Books, PO Box 1209, Minneapolis, MN 55440-1209.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The stories in this book reflect the authors recollection of events. Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of those depicted.

Cover design: Sydney Prusso

Print ISBN: 978-1-5064-8041-1

eBook ISBN: 978-1-5064-8042-8

While the author and 1517 Media have confirmed that all references to website addresses (URLs) were accurate at the time of writing, URLs may have expired or changed since the manuscript was prepared.

To my Puerto-Lankan tribe,

Ed, Natalia, Samuel, Sofia, and Carolina:

This book didnt always make you happy, but it never stopped you from cheering me on.

Thank you for being the reason I want what Ive got.

With all my heartthis is for you.

I dont know whats going on, but if something doesnt change, I dont think Ill make it. I dont think we will make it.

It was our sixteenth anniversary. Two successful careers; four beautiful, healthy kids; and a stunning home in an idyllic Connecticut suburb. Ours was the life people dreamed of... at least on the outside.

I looked across the candlelit table at my husband. Arms folded across my chest, I didnt want to be there. As far I was concerned, there was nothing to celebrate. Sitting across from him at our favorite restaurant, I didnt have much to say. The noise of other peoples conversations echoing in the room filled the void created by our silence.

Then he spoke those words. He sounded angry, but I knew there was more underneath. As a therapist, I know the sound of desperation. I just never expected to hear it that day. I looked up from the floor into his eyes for the first time in weeks, maybe months. Sky blue and clear, his eyes were one of the first things I noticed about him when we met at an antiValentines Day party in New York City nearly two decades ago. Yet now I saw deep pools of sadness. He looked like he had lost something that he wasnt sure he could get back.

He wasnt talking about divorce. We have never questioned our love and commitment to each other. In some ways, this was far worse. He was talking about survivalphysical, emotional, and mentalall of which had been tested in both of us over the past several years and left us fractured and fragile.

I was angry. I felt misunderstood and unappreciated. From the moment I woke up in the morning, I hit the ground running, trying to get as much done as possible for as many people as possible. I knew he felt the same, rushing all day and night from one commitment to the next. Of course we both felt disconnected! When did we have time to connectwith anyone? This was the coveted, enchanted, happy life we createdand it was suffocating us both.

I finally spoke: Do you know, once in a while, I think about what it would be like if I just disappeared? How much easier that would be... My voice wavered for a moment as I looked away. As soon as the words came out, I couldnt believe I said them. I love my family, so why did these thoughts come and go so often recently? What had happened? How did we get here?

Ed paused for a moment, silent. Then he said quietly, I have thought the same exact thing.

And that was the moment everything changed.

If this was the price of our so-called happiness, we were no longer willing to pay it.

I decided that night that we would never feel that way again.

And I never want you to either.

Once upon a time, before our world shape-shiftedwhen masks only appeared on Halloween night and no one thought twice about squeezing into packed venues, before screen time became a parents worst enemy and before science morphed into politicsI wanted to write a book about happiness.