Fearne Cotton - Happy: Finding Joy in Every Day and Letting Go of Perfect

AN ORION EBOOK

First published in Great Britain in 2017 by Orion Spring, This eBook edition first publishing in Great Britain in 2017 by Orion Spring, an imprint of the Orion Publishing Group Ltd

Carmelite House

50 Victoria Embankment

London EC4Y 0DZ

An Hachette UK Company

ISBN: 9781409169420

Text Fearne Cotton 2017

The right of Fearne Cotton to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Photography (with the exception of ): Liam Arthur

Design: Ben Gardiner

Illustrations on pages : Fearne Cotton

Grey practical page illustrations: Abi Hartshorne

Yoga illustrations: Emanuel Santon

Rainbow self-reflection symbol: Shutterstock

Chapter and all other illustrations: Jessica May Underwood

Props: Rebecca Newport

Recipe tester: Jordan Bourke

Food styling: Iona Blackshaw

The Big Apple Experiment () was first pioneered by Nikki Owen in 2009 Printed and bound in Germany

www.orionbooks.co.uk

FEARNE COTTON

HAPPY

TO JESSE, REX, HONEY, ARTHUR AND LOLA, FOR ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU BRING.

Contents

Happiness. I think we often assume its just around the corner, in the hands of others, or only for a chosen category of people. The beautiful thing is, its actually there for the taking, inside us all the time, bubbling away waiting to be embraced.

I began my own exploration into the nebulous subject of happiness because throughout my life I have had patches where I have felt quite the opposite of happy. Moments where I have stumbled into a darker territory happys grey and spiky sister: depression.

I have always been interested in looking at the world from various angles and exploring different emotions and their boundaries, but perhaps, previously, in a naive and reckless way. I wanted excitement; I wanted the rollercoaster; and I wanted it all quick. I remember writing in an old diary that I was prepared to experience it all. I sprinted into joy without care or fear, and climbed as high as I could to get to it. Inevitably I would end up falling off a cliff edge on the other side to compensate for such highs, but I would quickly dust myself down and run at the next exciting hill. I admire my younger self for having such optimism and so little regard for anything negative that came my way but, my god, it was tiring.

I, like many people out there, assumed that once I had achieved certain accolades, climbed up the career ladder and felt love from those around me, I would feel happy. Yes, there was happiness along the way, but my fast-paced, incautious way of living also led me to get hurt, feel empty at times and to live from my head rather than my heart.

Depression. Many of you will have experienced it or know someone who has. Maybe some of you have an inkling that you have dipped a toe into its murky waters, but have never really talked about it. Its an incredibly private experience but one that its always better to share. Ive never talked publicly about my own brush with depression before, as I feared it would make it bigger than it was, or that others would think I was being over-dramatic or attention-seeking. But now I think its time for me to share my experiences, as being honest with myself, and others, can only be a good thing and in turn might help others, too.

Within these pages youll hear me talk about what depression feels like for me, but youll also find lots of happiness. Each of us has our own perspective on what it represents and how it feels. Wherever you currently are on the happiness spectrum whether youre feeling down, okay or wonderful I hope you can use this book to slow down, reflect and really engage with what those feelings are. For me, happiness and balance are about an open mind, an open heart and discipline. Nowadays, I like the simple things. Just give me fresh air, my kids laughter, a paintbrush, people to cook for, a clear sky and plenty of sleep: these are my new cravings. I still get to feel excited and rocket-man high about things, but I know what will really deliver that balance and bliss that I have always craved. Its inevitable that we will all trudge through tough times, have to say goodbye to loved ones, beat ourselves up about things and make mistakes. Acceptance of this is key, as is the knowledge that happiness is not a far-off destination that lives somewhere outside of YOU.

Ive learned to get to grips with this, having spent so many years running far away from myself in search of it. I watched the sunset in many countries, climbed mountains, partied until the birds sang and did jobs that seemed so much bigger than me. I feel so lucky to have experienced these moments in my life, and fun and joy were definitely woven throughout them, but they werent teleporting me to the island of happiness like I had hoped. Depression made me step back, slow down and realise this in a rather harsh and devastating way. Although painful to recall and write about now, Im glad. Im sort of grateful that I had this turning point. These days, Im still prone to this darkness, so I have to be mindful about how I deal with everything around me.

Over time, Ive learned a few simple things to help keep me in my version of happy. These will be different for each of us, but I feel grateful for my own little list as it allows me to navigate back onto a smoother path when I find myself shunted off it. For example, painting ignites my inner dreamer as I put whats in my head onto a canvas; cooking gives me a creative outlet that acts like meditation.

These are some of the tools that together make a huge difference to my life and outlook. This book will combine these elements and more to help quieten your mind through little exercises and visualisations and hopefully drench you in relaxation and calm. I believe writing things down can be a very powerful tool to grab hold of; one that has helped me over the years and continues to help me make sense of the chaos in my head and digest thoughts, fears and dreams. Many of the exercises in the book involve just that, and I really hope this tool can be helpful to you, too.

This book will share ways to release whats going on inside your head and keep you trekking towards the good stuff. The simple stuff. The stuff thats going to really hit up that happiness on a deep and nourishing level. Whether you dip into these pages every now and then when you feel the need, or use the books exercises for some daily positivity, I hope it brings you much relief, joy and calm.

Amen to the pen.

Throughout this book youll come across some activity pages. If youd like to give them a go, you can download a printable PDF of them here.