Fearne Cotton - Bigger Than Us: The power of finding meaning in a messy world

Fearne Cotton

BIGGER THAN US

Contents

About the Author

Fearne Cotton is one of the UKs most in-demand TV and radio presenters, appearing regularly on Radio 2, Children in Need and BBC Music Awards. As a busy mum of two young children, Fearne knows the time pressures on parents and kids. Shes passionate about involving children and families from all backgrounds in activities that can improve their health, mental well-being and promote a lifelong love of reading, and believes that being healthy neednt be expensive, time-consuming or difficult!

Introduction

Writing this book has changed my life. Ive gulped down knowledge with an unrivalled thirst and made willing changes to my life in the name of finding a deeper connection and hopefully to write a book that will be meaningful to you. Yet I had no idea of the impact it would have on me. I had no clue that so much would change in such a short space of time. Im confident itll have a similar effect on you. All Im asking is that you have an open mind and then just sit back and enjoy learning from a host of wise minds Im going to introduce you to.

Im at a pivotal point in life where I feel that the lurking fog, which crept in like a November morning in my early thirties, is lifting. This book has marked the start of a process of shedding I didnt even know I needed, with old layers of life peeling away, falling off in great swaths to reveal new perspectives and a much welcomed lightness. Are you up for it? Do you want to dig deeper with me? Let me put some lexical oomph behind this life pivot and explain what we are about to do.

By now we all have a rough idea of how to look after our bodies and minds. We know that eating a balanced diet, doing a bit of exercise and remembering that cigarettes look cool in films but suck for our lungs will help our bodies out. We know that having decent relationships with others, doing things we love and refraining from bingeing social media will give us a healthier mind. But what about the other bit? The what-do-you-wanna-call-it bit? The soul? Spirit? Awareness? Energy? I dont mind what you call it as Im not sure what name to pin on it myself, but I know its there. I personally believe wait, sod it, I want to be pretty definite about this I KNOW that I am not just a body and a mind. There is some other inexplicable part of me which I think gets forgotten about far too regularly; the part of me that feels a deep instant connection with certain strangers Ive met over the years; the part of me that is pure intuition and knows the answer even though Im tempted to google the question; the part of me that felt and saw a celestial rainbow of colours during childbirth; the part of me that has felt pure bliss when tripping out looking at the sky; the part of me that could burst into a million tiny pieces when hearing a song that just gets me. How am I looking after that part of me? Well get to that later as we romp through this complex, deep and hopefully nurturing journey together.

As well as nurturing that part of ourselves that gets massively overshadowed by our bodies and minds, I want to explore the concept of everything else outside of us too again, call it what you like: God, a higher power, the universe and how we connect and perhaps even communicate with it. Not to complicate matters too much early on but this exterior energy, or higher power, is recognised by many spiritual leaders as something that is within us, not outside of us as we may believe; but, again, well get to all of this later down the line.

Reconnecting with Life

I believe that we need to look at this part of ourselves and find new ways to expand our thinking now more than ever before. En masse weve never been in more trouble and we know it. We cant always pinpoint why but the jittery feeling of discontentment is never far away. There probably hasnt been a time in history when we have been so stressed, anxious, depressed, confused and at times disheartened. We are more technologically advanced than ever before, can video-call someone on the other side of the planet, order shoes that arrive on the same day, send satellites into space to aid/support us navigate our route to work and have modern medicine to help us in physical crises, yet were usually dissatisfied and feel we are lacking. We have more than any other generation, yet that feeling of lacking is growing by the minute. I think all of these uncomfortable feelings are rooted in our total subliminal disconnect. Its something Ive talked about at length to my dear friend Sarah Wilson (activist, writer and all-round amazing egg). We are all in disconnect. We know we are abusing our planet, we know we arent always genuinely connecting with other humans heart to heart, we know we are driven more by fear and less by love and are floundering around wondering why we feel so off-centre. We cannot fix this feeling with a new workout, by changing our diets or with mindfulness alone. Something much bigger, more expansive and more powerful is needed. Connection.

Connection isnt calling up your mate once a week to check in (lovely as that is). True connection is remembering we are all one not just as individual humans (which we seemingly forget on a daily basis with our road rage, divisive attitudes and war), but also with nature. There is no separation or distinction. That might not ring true to you immediately but it is something Im going to explore in this book as we work out how to nurture our souls and get back to total connection.

The Hugeness of Life

The title of this book, Bigger Than Us , is supposed to be relieving, evoking an en masse collective phew that maybe there is something larger at play. This is not to diminish the human experience, my life or yours, its simply a way of thinking that allows us to take the heat out of the small annoyances and problems in life so we can remember how huge all of this is. If we remember that we are on a ball spinning in space, and the ONLY ball we know of with life on it with our own sun and moon and other planets beautifully dancing with synchronicity and precision nearby, all held in place due to energy that we cant see then maybe it wont matter so much that we messed up at work or said something stupid we regret. Looking at energy allows us to get out of our heads and marvel at the magic that is constantly unfolding all around us. Life is bloody HUGE.

My head is already bursting with thoughts and questions, but hey, thats the mind just trying to steal the limelight again.

More Magic

I would have been petrified to write a book like this five years ago. I would have typed trepidatiously while second-guessing what every cynical person out there might say. I have always felt inferior to cynical people. Ive labelled them cool, edgy perhaps even more intellectual than me but, honestly, at this point in my life Im so over that. I love exploring spirituality and what else lies within us and outside of us. The magic, the connection, the inexplicable. I LOVE IT! Im an out-and-out spiritual junkie and there is no stopping me. So, in short, if you are extremely cynical about this sort of thing, thats cool, welcome along. My job with this book is not to convince you otherwise; its to hopefully give you some other options and tools that might help you find more meaning, magic and purpose in life.

We often think purpose comes from having power or opportunity but thats not the sort of purpose Im talking about. Im talking about purpose and meaning from within. An inner knowing that propels you towards a deeper experience of life. This book is about getting under the itchy clothes of life. Getting beneath the thoughts, rumination and constant noise of the modern world. Its connecting the dots and making sense of the nonsensical. This process throughout the book is not going to be wishy-washy or surface. This book isnt exclusively about burning incense and partaking in gong baths while wearing smocks (although they may feature if there is reason to); its about getting curious and cultivating the willingness to see life in its full-coloured, bold, ever-changing beauty. I heard a term coined recently that made sense of the commodification of spirituality in recent years: spirituality lite, nodding to the vast interest in spiritual rituals without the deeper exploration or openness underpinning them. For example (and please remember Im not judging anyone here as Im on this learning curve with you all), many out there may partake in yoga waiting for a six-pack to emerge without experiencing the deep connection from the breath work and mental stillness of the practice. Many will burn sage in their homes hoping that negative energy will magically disappear from their lives without any willingness to look at why they might be attracting negative energy into their lives in the first place. For us to go on this journey together, you will not need to purchase a rose quartz toilet seat or go anywhere near a wind chime. You need nothing more than an open mind and a little curiosity.