Table of Contents
Introduction
Who am I?
And why should you listen to me?
Listen, Im just a guy who likes to write and has written a lot of stuffincluding 27 novels.
Ive spent most of my adult life writing and avoiding what I call the grown-uppeople jobs. During that stretch of time, Ive learned a lot of thingsmostly self-taughtthat helped me get better at what I do. Self-taught means a lot of rumblin-stumblin-fumblin my way through the world of writing and publishing. It means trial and error, frustration, and rejection.
I hope I can help you avoid much of that sort of thing. In fact, Im going to make you a promise to be informative and entertaining. If you want to spend your time writing a novel, I believe it should be fun, not work. If you want work, go get a gig in a pie factory or selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door.
I want you to move through this book with a growing confidence that will come from familiarity with me and a belief in your own abilities. Theres no magic or secret knowledge to writing a novel. There are techniques, guidelines, and even a few tricks to make it a rewarding endeavor; but youll see, as we move from topic to topic, its not much harder than making a 6-foot model of the Statue of Liberty out of little LEGO blocks.
Just different.
Anyway, before we get started, a little more about me, which should help you believe what Ill be telling you, and a few words of coach-in-the-locker-room inspiration before we go rushing to our keyboards to kick serious butt. I figure the easiest way to get started is tell a little story, so here goes .
Picture this: Im at a partya barbecue, a wedding, or just about any other kind of social gatheringand Im meeting people for the first time. As is the custom of most people, they will, soon after meeting you, ask what you do. Meaning: how do you make your money? Inevitably, when I tell them Im a writer, they ask what Ive come to call the Three Dumb Questions and, thus, give me a chance to have a little fun at their expense.
Dumb Question No. 1: Youre a writer?Oh, have you ever had anything published?
People are surrounded by the printed word every day, but apparently it never occurs to them that someone actually must write the words before they can be put into print. No one, it seems, has ever met anyone who is a real writerat least thats how everybody acts around me.
Anyway, I usually answer with a smile and a question of my own.
Hey, come on , I say. If I told you I was an astronomer, would you ask me if Ive ever used a telescope? (And following that logic, Im reluctant to imagine what question a proctologist should get.)
Most people chuckle when I offer the astronomer analogy. And then I follow up with a thumbnail of my extensive and not-too-shabby bibliography. (You can check for yourself by looking at the inside back cover of this book. Go ahead, Ill wait.)
Finished? Okay, so I tell them Ive been a professional writer for more than 30 years, and that Ive written and published a variety of novels that have fallen into categories such as science fiction, horror, suspense, thrillers, and everything in between.
That usually prompts
Dumb Question No. 2: Wow, thats really somethin uh, do you use your real name?
Now you know why they ask this real name business, dont you? Because they find themselves standing jaw-to-jaw with a real writer, someone who writes books, and they have never heard of me. They never admit this fact, of course, but theyre thinking it, and they figure the only reason they dont recognize me is because I gotta be using a fake name.
So I tell them I love to see my real name on my books, and always make sure it works out that way. I tell them Im like most writers, which means a lot egotistical and a little crazy. This usually satisfies them, but after a little pondering, many of them wheel out the single question all writers hear more than any other:
Dumb Question No. 3: Wow, thats really neat, ya knowbut ya gotta tell me, where do you guys get all your crazy ideas?
Yeah. And even though I know its coming, even though Ive heard it literally hundreds of times, Im still a little amazed that people are so perplexed when confronted with the concept of having original ideas. Now just so you know, most writers Ive met have evolved and perfected their own wise-guy response to Question No. 3, and heres mine: I subscribe to an Idea Serviceand for only $9.95, they send me 10 new ideas each and every month.
I usually get a smile or a laugh, and everybody knows Im kidding around, and then I explain my crazy ideas come from the molten core of my imagination, from the pit of my fears and the heights of my dreams, from the very stuff and fabric of life, that they come from everywhere around and within all of us, and that one only need be watching and listening to the world around him to gather up some ideas of his or her own.
Its usually cool after that, except when somebody pulls out a notepad and asks me (just to be on the safe side, mind you) if I could give them the address of that service .
Actually, Im lying. It usually doesnt end here.
Most of the times, least one person tells me hes lived the absolutely most incredible life and his experiences are just so unbelievable, so great, they are simply crying out to be chronicled in a book. At this point I can pretty much count on this guy to make me what most writers know as the Standard Offer, which is: hell tell me his life story, I get to then write it, and we split the money 50-50.
You can imagine how the rest of that conversation unwinds.
But the point of this story (and I was going to make one) is that people are fascinated with the idea of storytelling and writing a novel. Its been said that everybody has at least one novel in them, and maybe its true. But some of you also have this burning drive to let that novel out, to actually sit down and spend the time you need to get it written.
If youre that person, I am here to help you.
When I was first starting out, I made all the mistakes you could make, and I sought help from people I met at conventions and workshops. People like Ted White and Damon Knight took the time to show me what I was doing wrong. They taught me how to eat criticism for breakfast and go back to the typewriter and write some more. They both told me that if I was any good, Id make it; and I had to work to make myself good. And if I made it, then on a farther away someday, I would be asked to help out a new writer or two, or hundreds .
They were correctimento on all counts, friends.
And here we are, with me being asked to help you get that novel written.
If you picked up this book to browse around or if youve actually paid good old American Federal Reserve Notes for it, you are, in some way, like meyou want to be a writer of novels.
Well, youve come to the right place, because I know how to write novels. And when you finish this book, you will, too.
But in addition to the things I will teach you, it will be to your benefit if you have the following items:
The support and belief of those close to you.
