Frank McNally - The Xenophobes Guide to the Irish

Irish history is a long series of invasions, with one notable blip: in a cruel irony, the Romans decided Ireland was too wet to bother with.

Irish history is a long series of invasions, with one notable blip: in a cruel irony, the Romans whose genius for plumbing could have been useful decided Ireland was too wet to bother with. Few other marauding armies passed up the opportunity, however , so it was no great surprise when the Normans arrived from Britain in 1169, and launched the Eight Hundred Years of Oppression.

Once ensconced, they ignored repeated hints to leave. But as had happened with all previous invaders, the Normans (or the Old English, as they became known) were soon assimilated, becoming, in a famous phrase, more Irish than the Irish themselves. This development was regarded with concern back in England, where the New English had become more Norman than the Normans themselves.

The English planted new settlers who were more water-resistant than the Normans and less vulnerable to the effects of Celtic mist.

Reconquering Ireland, they imposed Penal Laws which banned a number of popular activities, e.g., being Irish. They also planted new settlers who were more water-resistant than the Normans and less vulnerable to the effects of Celtic mist. The settlers who were introduced to the North of Ireland in the 17th century were assimilation-proof partly because of religion. Whereas the Irish and the Old English remained Roman Catholic after the Reformation, these newcomers were Protestants of two main Scottish types Staunch and Fierce. Britains wars of religion came to a head on Irish soil in the battles of the Boyne (1690) and Aughrim (1691), when God lined out for both sides, but apparently fought a bit harder for the Protestants.

By Irish standards, the 18th century was peaceful with only one attempted revolution at a cost of 30,000 or so lives. An indirect cause of this rebellion in 1798 was the Act of Union which made Ireland and Britain a single parliamentary unit. During the 19th century, famine and mass emigration reduced the population of Ireland by half. For those left alive the campaign for Home Rule took on a new urgency.

In 1916 militant republicans had another go. Unlike all previous uprisings which were marked by unrealistic optimism, the insurgents this time shrewdly calculated they would lose. They even devised a cunning revolutionary concept known as the triumph of failure. The plan was a huge success when the British not only put down the rebellion but shot the leaders, thereby alienating public opinion and swinging it behind the rebels. Independence followed for 26 of Irelands 32 counties.