William Ottens - Librarian Tales

Copyright 2020 by William Ottens

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Mona Lin

Cover photo credit Getty Images

ISBN: 978-1-5107-6246-6

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-5589-5

Printed in the United States of America

To my mother, Linda, who always said Id write a book someday. Thank you for believing in me.

Contents

Introduction

Where Are the Books?

P icture it: A reference desk situated in the center of the library, surrounded by stacks of books. Im doing my normal librarian thing when a patron shuffles up and braces herself by placing both hands on the desktop. She takes a breath.

Where are the books? she says.

I blink.

She continues: You know, the ones on DVD? That you can play in your car?

She tilts her head as I furrow my brow and process her question in my overly technical head. Books on DVD? That you play in your car?

Then it hits me. Oh! Audiobooks. On CD.

I try not to laugh as I lead her to what she wants.

As a recently hired reference assistant at the Lawrence Public Library, I quickly learned that interactions at the desk, what librarians typically call reference interviews, are like putting together puzzles. Sometimes, not all the pieces are there. Other times, you completely misinterpret the situation.

At another library, at another reference desk, a young boy approaches and announces, Im looking for adventures!

How adorable! I think to myself.

Do you have adventures? The kid continues.

Of course! We have many adventures! I respond. What kind of adventures are you looking for?

No, the kid says, AVENGERS. Do you have the Avengers?

I smack my forehead.

Simple, silly moments like these convinced me that there would never be a dull day working at the library.

Contrary to popular belief, a librarians job isnt always the quiet, easy, and stress-free paradise some movies, TV shows, and commercials portray it to be. We have our moments too, and thats partly because we work with the public, and anyone who works with the public should know things can get weird.

Unhappy patron contesting a 15-cent fine? Picture book with its corners gnawed off? Unattended toddlers ransacking the shelves? Dead bird in the book drop? All in a days work.

After sharing a few of these stories on Facebook and getting some laughs from my family and friends, I decided to start a Tumblr called Librarian Problems .

It was 2012. GIFs were seeing a resurgence on the Internet, especially through reaction blogs on Tumblr. Inspired by others Id come across, I started pairing common librarian situations, frustrations, and stereotypes with these animated images from popular TV shows, movies, and Internet videos. And it took off.

With consistent posting, the blog gained more than 2,000 followers in less than a month. Then I started receiving comments like this:

I think youre great! I mean really, really great! Did I say, I think youre great? No really, Im not just flattering you, I really think youre great! Seriously though, thank you for providing a venue for me to laugh at my problems. By the way, I think youre great!

And like this:

I love your blog. I love your job. I love your sense of humor. SO obviously, Im following you now :D This is so fun! You are so lucky to be a librarian. One of my dream jobs when I was a kid. I need to go to a library!!! ;p

And this one!

Im just a library clerk, not a librarian. But I SO relate to pretty much everything here. I have been screamed at over a 25-cent fine. Ive had creepy patrons invite me back to their house. Anyway, I love this blog and I want to give you all a big hug cause believe me, I understand!

That was it. I knew I had to keep at it. The likes, reblogs, comments, and followers kept coming, and I eventually expanded the Librarian Problems platform to Facebook and Twitter. I started handing out t-shirts and swag at conferences and received invitations to give keynote speeches. I loved talking about my problems.

Fast scroll through a few years and several pages of posts, and now youre reading this book! And whats this book about?

ALL MY PROBLEMS!

Just kidding. Sort of.

Since I havent figured out how to print a GIF, these dispatches from the stacks, my librarian tales, will walk you through my library journey. I share how I first became interested in librarianship and then take you from library school, where all my problems began, to my brief stint as a director of a small library, where my problems grew exponentially.

Youll learn the good, the bad, and the ugly of working in five common library departments: circulation, reference, youth services, tech support, and collection services. And because Im just one librarian, and I in no way represent the whole of librarianship, Ive also thrown in some of the weird and wonderful stories shared through comments on the Librarian Problems pages.

Librarians and library workers manage a wide range of responsibilities, collections, and services, but we have one thing in common: we all see our fair share of problems.

Seriously, though, librarianship is no joke. We librarians and library workers are the gatekeepers to information. We keep the world in order. We provide vital resources and services to the most disadvantaged in our society. And the not so disadvantaged.

We see some gross stuff. Literally.

We also see how important our role and the role of our institutions are in our communities, and, for the most part, couldnt imagine ourselves doing any other thing. Thats why, when you love your job so much, it helps to turn to laughter when things get tough. To let off steam. To share your problems. So you can go back and do your thing.

And thats what this book is all about.

So please, enjoy my librarian tales. They can be yours too.

Part I:

Where All My Problems Began

Chapter 1

Every Bookish Kids Dream

(or One Librarians Path)

W hy are you interested in a masters degree in library science, William?

Sitting in a cozy chair across from the program director of the School of Library and Information Management at Emporia State University, I pause at this question. I should know this. I practiced this.