Praise for
THE GLADDY GOLD MYSTERIES
This is one sassy and smart series with a colorful gang of senior sleuths. Mystery Scene
Beyond the skillful blend of Yiddish humor, affectionate characters and serious undercurrents picks up speed and flavor with some twists worthy of Agatha Christies archetypal dame detective, Miss Marple.Publishers Weekly
What gives the book its warmth is the way Lakin has turned this group of friends into a family who are there not only for the fun and laughter but also for the heartbreak and tears. Romantic Times
Young and old, Jewish, Protestant, atheist, all will love this tale told with clarity, wit and interesting characters. This is a must-read mystery. I Love A Mystery
An entertaining cozy mystery series with a set of lovable and oddball characters. The mystery has a puzzling plot with twists and turns that will surprise readers. Retirement takes on a new meaning after spending time with Gladdy and her gladiators! Fresh Fiction
Rita Lakin shows a real flair for comic mysteries . The plotting is expert, but the background color of life among older retired people is wonderful (and sometimes very poignant). Connecticut Post Forum
This is a funny, warm, absolutely delightful tale a must read. Mysterious Women
An unforgettable romp Lakins characters are zany, her writing is witty and crisp, and anyone whos ever visited one can attest that her peek at life in a Jewish Florida retirement center is portrayed both accurately and tastefully. Cleveland Jewish News
Wonderful dialogue and a touch of romance enlivens this delightful breeze of a tale. Kaw Valley Senior Monthly
Sassy, funny and smart Lakin sprinkles humor on every page, but never loses respect for her characters. New Hampshire Senior Beacon
It is a tribute to Lakins talent that she is able to mingle comedy and murder successfully.Dade County Jewish Journal
If getting old is this much fun, maybe I wont mind! Miss Marple, move over. Rita Lakins witty romp through a Florida retirement community is just the thing for what ails you! P ARNELL H ALL , author of the Puzzle Lady mysteries
So who knew a retirement community could be so dangerousand so much fun . Lakin handles her characters with dignity, compassion, and love, while allowing them the full extent of their eccentric personalities. V ICKI L ANE , author of Old Wounds
A truly original voice. Great fun from start to finish. Plan to stay up late. S HELDON S IEGEL , New York Times bestselling author of The Confession
Fate took R ITA L AKIN from New York to Los Angeles, where she was seduced by palm trees and movie studios. Over the next twenty years she wrote for television and had every possible job, from freelance writer to story editor to staff writer and, finally, producer. She worked on shows such as Dr. Kildare, Peyton Place, The Mod Squad, and Dynasty, and created her own shows, including The Rookies, Flamingo Road, and Nightingales. Rita has won Writers Guild of America awards, the Mystery Writers of Americas Edgar Allan Poe Award, and the coveted Avery Hopwood Award from the University of Michigan. She lives in Marin County, California, where she is currently at work on her next mystery starring the indomitable Gladdy Gold.
www.ritalakin.com
ALSO BY RITA LAKIN
Getting Old Is Murder
Getting Old Is the Best Revenge
Getting Old Is Criminal
Getting Old Is To Die For
Getting Old Is a Disaster
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
ON MARRIAGE:
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, youll be happy; if not, youll become a philosopher.
Socrates
I love being married. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman wholl give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means youre in the wrong house, thats what it means.
Henny Youngman
I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
Marie Corelli
And finally, to the 98 percent of my fans who voted to get Jack and Gladdy married:
Come, lets be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.
Charles Dickens
Maybe they will. And maybe they wont.
Introduction to Our Characters
GLADDY AND HER GLADIATORS
Gladys (Gladdy) Gold, 75 Our heroine and her funny, adorable, sometimes impossible partners:
Evelyn (Evvie) Markowitz, 73 Gladdys sister. Logical, a regular Sherlock Holmes
Ida Franz, 71 Stubborn, mean, great for an in-your-face confrontation
Bella Fox, 83 The shadow. Shes so forgettable, shes perfect for surveillance, but smarter than you think
Sophie Meyerbeer, 80 Master of disguises, she lives for color coordination
YENTAS, KIBITZERS, SUFFERERS: THE INHABITANTS OF PHASE TWO
Hy Binder, 88 A man of a thousand jokes, all of them tasteless
Lola Binder, 78 His wife, who hasnt a thought in her head that he hasnt put there
Enya Slovak, 84 Survivor of the camps but never survived
Tessie Spankowitz, 56 Chubby, newly married to Sol
Millie Weiss, 85 Suffering with Alzheimers
Irving Weiss, 86 Suffering because shes suffering
Mary Mueller, 60 Neighbor whose husband left her; nurse
Joe Markowitz, 75 Evvies ex-husband
ODDBALLS AND FRUITCAKES
Sol Spankowitz, 79 Now married to Tessie
THE COP AND THE COPS POP
Morgan (Morrie) Langford, 35 Tall, lanky, sweet, and smart
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