Rita Lakin - Getting Old Is a Disaster

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Book:
Getting Old Is a Disaster
Author:
Rita Lakin
Publisher:
Dell
Genre:
Books / Detective and thriller
Year:
2008
Rating:
4 / 5
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About the Author

Fate took Rita Lakin from New York to Los Angeles where she was seduced by - photo 1

Fate took Rita Lakin from New York to Los Angeles, where she was seduced by palm trees and movie studios. Over the next twenty years she wrote for television and had every possible job from freelance writer to story editor to staff writer and, finally, producer. She worked on shows such as Dr. Kildare, Peyton Place, The Mod Squad, and Dynasty, and created her own shows, including The Rookies, Flamingo Road, and Nightingales. Rita has won awards from the Writers Guild of America, the Mystery Writers of America's Edgar Allan Poe Award, and the coveted Avery Hopwood Award from the University of Michigan. She lives in Marin County, California, where she is currently at work on her next mystery starring the indomitable Gladdy Gold. Visit her on the Web at www.ritalakin.com.

also by rita lakin

Getting Old Is Murder

Getting Old Is the Best R ev eng e

Getting Old Is Criminal

Getting Old Is To Die For

Getting Old

Is a Disaster

Rita Lakin

A D E L L B O O K

GETTING OLD IS A DISASTER A Dell Book / January 2009

Published by Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,

events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Dell is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the

colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

eISBN: 978-0-440-33834-5

www.bantamdell.com

v1.0

This book is for Leslie Simon Lakin,

my amazing daughter-in-law,

with Love and Gratitude

Baby Boomers: the Third Act, or, Encore Careers

Act One:

Even though I didn't know it at the time, I followed every trend.

I was born in 1947.

In the 50's I was the perfect student in school. In the 60's I was the perfect teenager. Then in the 70's the perfect hippie.

Act Two:

By the 80's I became the perfect yuppie. By then I was married. It was all about money and spending.

In the 90's women's rights! I divorced and started my own corporation.

Act Three:

I married the right man. Now the two of us spend our time being useful to others. We began our encore career. We opened a bed-and-breakfast to bring pleasure to people in a beautiful place. I thought I was such a rebel all my life, but now I know I'm just a variation on what 70 million baby boomers have done with their lives.

Guiamer Hiegert, co-owner with her husband, Gary, of theLost Whale Inn, Trinidad, California

Introduction

to Our Characters

gladdy and her gladiators

Gladys (Gladdy) Gold, 75 Our heroine and her funny, adorable, sometimes impossible partners:

Evelyn (Evvie) Markowitz, 73 Gladdy's sister. Logical, a regular Sherlock Holmes

Ida Franz, 71 Stubborn, mean, great for an in-your face confrontation

Bella Fox, 83 The "shadow." She's so forgettable, she's perfect for surveillance, but smarter than you think Sophie Meyerbeer, 80 Master of disguises, she lives for color-coordination

yentas, kibitzers, sufferers: the inhabitants of phase two

Hy Binder, 88 A man of a thousand jokes, all of them tasteless

Lola Binder, 78 His wife, who hasn't a thought in her head that he hasn't put there

Denny Ryan, 42 The handyman: sweet, kind, mentally slow

Enya Slovak, 84 Survivor of "the camps" but never survived

Tessie Spankowitz, 56 Chubby, newly married to Sol Millie Weiss, 85 Suffering with Alzheimer's Irving Weiss, 86 Suffering because she's suffering

Mary Mueller, 60 Neighbor whose husband left her; nurse

Joe Markowitz, 75 Evvie's ex-husband oddballs and fruitcakes

The Canadians, 3040-ish Young, tan, and clueless

Sol Spankowitz, 79 Now married to Tessie

Dora Dooley, 81 Loves soap operas; Jack's neighbor

the cop and the cop's pop

Morgan (Morrie) Langford, 35 Tall, lanky, sweet, and smart

Jack Langford, 75 Handsome and romantic, Gladdy's boyfriend

Oz Washington, 36 Morrie's friend, also a police detective

the library maven

Conchetta Aguilar, 38 Her Cuban coffee could grow hair on your chest

other tenants

Barbi Stevens, 20-ish and

Casey Wright, 30-ish Cousins who moved from California

Yolanda Diaz, 22 Her English is bad, but her heart is good

Stanley Heyer, 85 Original builder of Lanai Gardens

Shirley Heyer, 80 His wife

interim tenants phase two

Abe Waller, 85 Stanley's friend

Louise Bannister, 60-ish Femme fatale of Phase Six, interested in Jack

Gladdy's Glossary

Yiddish (meaning Jewish) came into being between the ninth and twelfth centuries in Germany as an adaptation of German dialect to the special uses of Jewish religious life.

In the early twentieth century, Yiddish was spoken by eleven million Jews in eastern Europe and the United States. Its use declined radically. However, lately there has been a renewed interest in embracing Yiddish once again as a connection to Jewish culture.

bubbala - endearing term for anyone you like, young or old; a tasty egg dish

bar mitzvah - at age thirteen a boy becomes a man after a ceremony accepting responsibility and religious law

kasha varnishkas - cooked groats and broad noodles

kibitzer - one who gives unwanted advice

kvetch - whine and complain

mezuzah - tiny box affixed to right door frame containing parchment with 22 lines of Deuteronomy

nachas - joy, especially from children

nosh - small meal

tsouris - trouble

schmegegi - buffoon, idiot

schlep - drag, carry, or haul sometimes unnecessary things

schmear - to spread like butter

Shabbes - Sabbath

tallis - prayer shawl

Torah - the five books of MosesTalmud law

yarmulke - traditional skull cap worn at all times by observant Orthodox Jews

yenta - busybody

Getting Old

Is a Disaster

T he construction worker embraced the storm,

letting the torrents of rain sting his face andsoak his denim jacket. His hard hat offered littleprotection. His sopping tool belt weighed himdown. But he was content to be the last man onsite. He knew how to finish a job.

The dim work light flickered with the splatter ofthe raindrops. Bolts of lightning illuminated thewooden billboard staked across the construction

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