Antonio Lobo Antunes - What Can I Do When Everything’s On Fire. A novel

PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS

PAULO ANTUNES LIMA son of Judite and Carlos

CARLOS/SORAIA drag queen, father of Paulo, lover of Rui

JUDITE (maiden name is Claudino Baptista)teacher, wife of Carlos, mother of Paulo

RUI Soraias lover, Paulos friend

MR. COUCEIRO (Jaime Couceiro Marques)Paulos guardian, retired World War II veteran

DONA HELENA Mr. Couceiros wife, Paulos guardian, housewife

NOMIA COUCEIRO MARQUES the Couceiros dead daughter

DONA AURORINHA Carloss neighbor on Prncipe Real

ALCIDES later lover of Soraia

DONA AMLIA candy seller at the club, friend of Carlos

GABRIELA MATOS HENRIQUES maid in hospital dining room, lover of Paulo

SECONDARY CHARACTERS

ABEL LOPES MARTINS Mr. Couceiros grandfather, Isabels father

ALBERTO Dona Amlias uncle

AQUILES father of Gabriela

CAMLIA Judites blind mother, Paulos grandmother

CARMINDO new lover of Gabriela

CRISTINA (and Elizabete and Mrcia) fellow teachers of Judite in Lisbon

CORA grandmother of Judite

DLIA girl on tricycle in Bico da Areia, later seen by Paulo in Chelas

ELISA lover of Luciano

FIRMINO uncle of Gabriela

FLORIANO store clerk, lover of Judite

MR. FREITAS Marlenes stepfather

ISABEL LOPES MARTINS Mr. Couceiros mother

JOO Ruis father

JLIA Paulos girlfriend in Personnel

LUCIANO Paulos doctor at the hospital

PROFESSOR MAIA ONOFRE newspaper columnist

MARIA DA SOLEDADE Mr. Couceiros grandmother, Isabels mother

MERCS Julias mother

OFLIA Ruis mother

ORLANDO BORGES CARDOSO Ruis grandfather

OTLIA sister of Gabriela

PEDRO Ruis uncle

PILAR friend of Ruis aunt

SERGEANT QUARESMA Dona Aurorinhas uncle

ROSENDO former fianc of Dona Aurorinha

VIVALDO orderly at hospital

DRAG QUEENS (in order of mention)

ANDREIA

BRBARA

ALEXANDRA

NINI

SAMANTA

CAROLE/ANTNIO (has a daughter in France, niece of Aura; childhood neighbors are Dona Eunice, lvaro, and Fernanda)

VNIA/MARCELINO Gonalves Freitas

MIL

MICAELA

MARLENE/JOAQUIM (son of Lurdes)

RICARDA (Brazilian)

DINA

SISSI

LUCI

CRISTIANA

VANDA

CARLOS/SORAIAS LOVERS AND CUSTOMERS (in order of mention)

and thats why, without waking up, I kept thinking

Why worry I know damned well that Im

not interested in any episodes I knew werent real

Im asleep

that might have scared me yesterday, Im not scared of them now

Why should I get all worked up if its nothing but a lie

aware of the position of my body in the bed, a twist in the sheet under my leg thats hurting me, the pillow

as usual

sliding between the mattress and the wall, my fingers

by themselves, on their own

looking for it, grabbing it, pulling it up, tucking it under my cheek, which was tucking itself into the pillow in turn, which part of me is pillow and which part is cheek, my arms were holding onto the pillowcase and I was helping my arms

Theyre mine

amazed that they belonged to me, aware of one of the plane trees outside there, a blur on the windowpane at night and day now, getting into my sleep, making me lift up my head

just my head because the twist in the sheet was still hurting me

looking through the window to the office where the doctor was writing out a diagnosis or a report

the desk, the chair, and the cabinet all old, the door always open

where the patients would lie in wait to beg for cigarettes, unshaven, with deadeyes

I could never eat fish eyes in a restaurant, my uncle would stab with his fork and I would be blinded, screaming

they dont pay any attention to me, nobody ever pays any attention to me, all the orderlies do is shove me along

Lets go lets go

and the fishes sitting on benches, their hands out, begging for cigarettes, my uncle lowering his fork

Dont you like eyes, Paulo?

the desk, the chair, the cabinet, the doctor signing something or other, looking at me, quickly picking up his fork, moving it toward the sea bream or the gilthead, I do like eyes, uncle

You can go home tomorrow

and while I was waking up and a dove was bobbing up and down on a branch of the plane tree, the twist in the sheet stopped hurting, the fish that I am separated itself from the pillow which isnt me after all, my uncle was amused and retreating into last nights dream, in which pills had changed into conger eels into puppets, and were asking me for cigarettes