Liane Davey - The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track

For Craig, Kira, and Mac
who are worth fighting for

H i. Its nice to meet you.

In this book, were going to dive into relationships and communication, so I thought it would help if we get to know each other.

Ill go first. Im Liane. I advise teams on how to be more effective.

Studying teams, and more specifically what makes teams effective, has been a professional passion for more than twenty-five years. My fascination with how teams work (and how they fail) dates back to grade school. My sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Fahey, assigned us to create our own Caribbean country. It was a great project with assignments covering geography, social sciences, language, and math. It even had artistic components: we were asked to write a national anthem and create a flag. It was right up my alley. I still love that kind of multifaceted project.

The only problem was that the project would be done in groups. We were assigned to work with two classmates and told we would each receive the same mark. It didnt take long for me to realize this arrangement was going to cramp my style. From the first work session, my teammates made it clear that they were happy to cruise through with minimal effort. My idea to use papier-mch to build a 3 -D topographical map seemed a little too ambitious for them. At twelve years old, I was already learning how hard it is to work on a team.

I figured I had two choices. I could do the majority of the work, which would ensure the project was up to my standards. That would give me the mark I was looking for but would create a huge workload for me. Even at that age, the unequal allocation offended my sensibilities. How was it fair if I did all the work and my teammates received the same grade? The other option was to dole out the work equally and let my mark take a hit. That option felt more equitable in terms of workload, but it didnt seem fair that I would have to settle for a lower mark. I decided to do the work to get the good grade.

When I tell people this story, many of them regale me with their own versions. Whether they first experienced the struggle of teamwork in grade school, at Scouts, or at sleepaway camp, or whether it took until their first MBA class or day one in the workplace, everyone has a story of that moment when they realized teamwork can really suck. Faced with their first crappy team, most people make the same binary decision I did: either do all the work to get the desired result or live with the consequences of sharing the work equally.

In 1993, I decided to turn my personal interest in teamwork into my professional path to see if I could find a third option. I earned a PhD in organizational psychologythe study of behavior in the workplace. My dissertation research focused on how team dynamics affect innovation, and pretty much everything Ive done since then has centered on more effective teamwork. All these years after sixth grade, Im confident that Ive found the third option: conflict. We can fight to make our teams better: better ideas, better decisions, better execution, better results.

The trouble is that fighting to make our teams better is still fighting. And in twenty-five years of studying and advising teams, Ive learned over and over again that we dont like to fight.

Thats where I come in. Ive dedicated my career to helping people get over their conflict aversion and start fighting the good fight.

Okay, thats me. Now its your turn.

Let me guess. Youre a strong performer who has always done well at work. Youve already had multiple promotions based on your ability to get things done efficiently. Youre used to being self-reliant and youre not afraid of a little hard work. But lately, youre finding it more difficult to get things done. So many of your assignments require you to work with folks who just dont seem to get itor maybe they have their own priorities that dont mesh well with yours. This problem is especially challenging when you have to work on cross-functional teams where everyone is serving a different master. It sure makes it hard to collaborate effectively.

You think about this problem of collaboration a lot, but you havent figured out how to talk about it with your teammates without getting everyone upset. And thats the last thing you want! Its hard enough to get things done without all the office drama that seems to erupt when you suggest that maybe the team could do things a little differently. But saying nothing isnt working either, so youre thinking maybe its time to take the risk.

You believe there must be a way to work through all the competing priorities to get your team focused on the right stuffthe short list of actions that will make the biggest difference. There must be a way to deal with the aggressive people, the passive people, and maybe even the passive-aggressive people who are all eroding trust on your team. There must be a way to reduce the toll that poor teamwork is taking and actually get back to business.

There is a way.

The answer to all of those problems is to embrace productive conflict and start fighting the good fight. This book will walk you through the steps.

In Part I , well focus on the business case for conflict. Well start by talking about all the ways that avoiding the tough discussions and decisions holds your business back, makes your team dysfunctional, and causes you stress. Well look at the notion of conflict debt, the gap thats created when you try to avoid the contentious issues that need to be resolved. Then well identify all the reasons why youre avoiding those conflicts in the first place. Finally, well try on a new mindset about conflictone that sees conflict as healthy for your bottom line, your relationships, and your stress level.

In Part II , well focus on the mechanics of productive conflict. Youll learn how you can proactively establish a line of communication and build trust with your colleagues. Next, youll learn techniques to create a strong connection that turns adversaries into allies. Finally, youll gain practical strategies for how to short-circuit unproductive or adversarial conflict and start to contribute to a solution. Youll realize that its possible to prevent the majority of conflicts and make those you cant prevent more productive and less aversive.

In Part III , well look at ways to help your team systematize conflict, so it becomes a natural part of how you work. Well start with a process for clarifying expectations that neutralizes the majority of conflicts by increasing alignment and reducing miscommunication. Next, well look at how you can normalize the tensions often present in teams, so your discussions stay focused on business issues rather than becoming personal. Finally, well discuss a variety of techniques to build a healthy conflict habit on your team.

In the Bonus Chapter, well apply your new productive conflict skills to your most important relationships: the ones at home. Well talk about the role of productive conflict in a healthy partnership and your responsibility to model these skills to the children in your life. Well move outside the home, too, applying productive conflict to volunteer teams and the community.

Throughout the book, Ill share stories of my clients (disguised to protect their identities) and how they learned to use productive conflict to make their businesses more profitable and more innovative, their teams more trusting and more fun, and their own lives more rewarding and less stressful. It wouldnt be fair if I left myself out of this storyto show you that Ive gone through exactly the same journey, Ill share my stories of learning and applying productive conflict skills.