Kenneth Kaye - Workplace Wars and How to End Them: Turning Personal Conflicts into Productive Teamwork

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title	:	Workplace Wars and How to End Them : Turning Personal Conflicts Into Productive Teamwork
author	:	Kaye, Kenneth.
publisher	:	AMACOM Books
isbn10 | asin	:	0814402151
print isbn13	:	9780814402153
ebook isbn13	:	9780585032801
language	:	English
subject	Conflict management, Interpersonal conflict, Interpersonal confrontation, Communication in personnel management.
publication date	:	1994
lcc	:	HD42.K39 1994eb
ddc	:	650.13
subject	:	Conflict management, Interpersonal conflict, Interpersonal confrontation, Communication in personnel management.

Page iii Workplace Wars And How To End Them Turning Personal Ccnflicts Into Productive Teamwork KENNETH KAYE AMACOM American Management Association New York Atlanta Boston Chicago Kansas City San Francisco Washington, D.C. Brussels Mexico City Tokyo Toronto

Page iv This book is available at a special discount when ordered in bulk quantities. For information, contact Special Sales Department, AMACOM, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kaye, Kenneth. Workplace wars and how to end them: turning personal conflicts into productive teamwork / Kenneth Kaye. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8144-0215-1 1. Conflict management. 2. Interpersonal conflict. 3. Interpersonal confrontation. 4. Communication in personnel management. I. Title. HD42.K39 1994 650.13dc2094-204 CIP 1994 Kenneth Kaye. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of AMACOM, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019. Printing number 10 9 8

Page v For my family

Page vii Contents Acknowledgments ix 1 "There They Go Again" 1 2 Plan A: Look for Shared Goals and Win/Win Solutions 21 3 Plan B: Clarify, Sort, and Value Differences 45 4 Plan C: Gain Commitment to Change 75 5 Plan D: Analyze the Recurring Cycle 89 6 Plan E: Unilaterally Demonstrate Change 111 7 Now We Are a Conflict-Resolving System 119 8 Summary: The System Applied 133 Appendix: Active Listening 147 Index 157

Page ix Acknowledgments This work is most indebted to the training programs at the Family Institute of Chicago, an affiliate of Northwestern University. Many of these techniques were developed there by Professor William Pinsof for problem-centered therapy with family systems. I have adapted them for application to other kinds of organizational conflict. I am grateful, too, to the many clients over a ten-year period who let me try to help them as systematically as I could. They were more than just the subjects on whom I foisted these various plans, strategies, exercises, and techniques; they were also brainstormers, innovators, and informants about other experiences with successful and unsuccessful attempts at conflict resolution. Participants in my professional seminars, including attorneys, accountants, organizational consultants, and human resources managers, allowed me to try different ways of presenting the book's contents, whose organization evolved into the "system" of Plan A, Plan B, and so forth. As the new textbook for my conflict resolution training workshops, this book reflects the thoughtful feedback of those past attendees.

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