Gary Chapman - Making Things Right at Work: Increase Teamwork, Resolve Conflict, and Build Trust

Culture drives results. And every teams culture rises and falls on its relationships. These three authors bring you actionable strategies for keeping your work relationships on track. If your teams productivity is hampered by relational struggles, this is the book for you.

MICHAEL HYATT

Wall Street Journal bestselling coauthor of Win at Work & Succeed at Life

As a nonprofit consultant and executive coach, I help leaders navigate conflict every day. And as we build more diverse workplaces, the need for tools to ensure that tension is healthy is exponentially greater. This is a smart, no-nonsense book with no jargon and terrific tools. Consider a copy for everyone on your team and use it for group discussion. Thats my plan.

JOAN M. GARRY

Founder, Nonprofit Leadership Lab

Every business is people working with and leading people to do stuff for people. If every team read this field guide for healthier relationships, it would change people, thus changing business. This is practical, and workplaces around the world need this!

MIKE SHARROW

CEO of C12

Conflict is personal, so handling it well requires a personal approach. And thats exactly what incorporating the foundation of the five love languages does for conflict resolution in this brilliant work. Every workplace and organization should have a copy of this book!

MICHELLE MYERS

Founder of she works HIS way and coauthor of She Works His Way: A Practical Guide for Doing What Matters Most in a Get-Things-Done World

In order to have a healthy, thriving organization, the people within the organization must be aligned and thriving. Nothing breeds inefficiency and counterproductive behavior more than unhealthy, unresolved conflict. When conflict occurswherever it occurswhat does it look like to live out our core belief that people matter? I believe this is one of the most important conversations we should be having right now, not just at work, but in every area of our lives. This invaluable book provides the practical insight and strategies to not only understand conflict, but to navigate it well. It belongs in the hands of every leader I know!

MEREDITH KING

Executive director, Integrus leadership; author, Immovable: Reflections to Build Your Life and Leadership on Solid Ground

2022 by
GARY CHAPMAN, JENNIFER THOMAS, and PAUL WHITE

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Some content is adapted from material previously published online by Jennifer Thomas and Paul White.

Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals, while some are fictitious or composites for the sake of illustration.

Edited by Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse

Interior and cover design: Erik M. Peterson

Author photo of Gary Chapman: Grooters Productions

Author photo of Jennifer Thomas: Ross Thomas Photography

Author photo of Paul White: Michael Bankston

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Chapman, Gary D., 1938- author. | Thomas, Jennifer, 1969- author. | White, Paul E., 1957- author.

Title: Making things right at work : how to handle conflict and build trust / Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas, & Paul White.

Description: Chicago : Northfield Publishing, [2022] | Includes bibliographical references. | Summary: Dr. Gary Chapman and business consultants Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Dr. Paul White offer strategies for restoring harmony at work. Dont let broken relationships taint your work environment. Take steps to make things right not tomorrow, but today. The success of your career depends on it!-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021044631 (print) | LCCN 2021044632 (ebook) | ISBN 9780802422736 | ISBN 9780802499448 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Conflict management. | Work environment. | Trust. | Interpersonal relations. | Quality of work life. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Workplace Culture | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Conflict Resolution & Mediation Classification: LCC HM1126 .C45 2022 (print) | LCC HM1126 (ebook) | DDC 303.6/9--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021044631

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021044632

We hope you enjoy this book from Northfield Publishing. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products that will help you with all your important relationships, go to northfieldpublishing.com or write to:

Northfield Publishing
820 N. LaSalle Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60610

To our children, and their children, all of whom deserve a kinder, gentler, and less fractured world.

AS WE WERE COMPLETING THIS manuscript, America wasvery cautiouslyopening back up. Although conditions vary across the country, companies large and small are working on plans to bring back employees, at least on a hybrid basis. Some workers are looking forward to reconnecting. Others, not so muchbecause they have to work with other people, and wherever there are people, conflict follows.

Conflict at work happensa lot. In fact, it shouldnt take you but a few seconds to recall a tense moment in your workplace. To relive the sting of a casual comment. To remember the discomfort of watching a not-so-friendly disagreement in a meeting. Or how about the resentment that simmered when a teammate dropped the ball on an important presentation you and he were doingand didnt apologize?

The three of us, each in our own profession, have spent considerable time analyzing human behavior, studying workplace dynamics, listening and counseling, and researching the nature of apology and forgiveness. As society resets following the pandemic, many institutions, from schools to churches to businesses, are asking themselves: What do we need to do better?

Coping with conflict among colleagues is one of those do-better challenges. One study found that each employee spends (on average) 2.1 hours every week (or one day per month) dealing with some form of conflict. For the US alone, that adds up to 385 million working days a year devoted to coping with workplace conflict! Which means youre not doing something elseselling or producing or promoting or monitoring or fixing. Something that actually furthers the companys business.

Think about that.

On the other hand, effectively managing interpersonal issues is absolutely central to the organizations success. Situations that are left to fester can create low morale, impact productivity, and even drive valued employees to look for greener pastures. So the wise leader will utilize the variety of tools at his or her disposal to deal with conflict.

At a personal level, recalling conflictual situations we each have had in our working career doesnt take much effort. Here are a few examples:

One of your team members is oddly distant in how they are relating to you recently. It is apparent they are upset with you about something, but you dont know why. You try to address the situation by asking them if youve done something to offend them, but they respond coolly, No, everythings okay, and the conversation ends there.