Smalley Gary - Mens Relational Toolbox

Something Were Good At

I f youve been paying attention to my messages on love and relationships these past thirty years, you know one thing for sure I dont have it all together. In fact, Ive made my living reporting not just my failures as a husband and father but also the ways God helped me use those failures to restore the relationships between my family and me.

So why do you want to hear from a rusty old nail like me?

Because it warms your heart to know that if I can blunder my way through love and survive, so can you. The process has been riddled with laughter and tears, but the reward has always been gaining understanding about relationships.

Like any dad, Ive tried to pass on what I know to my adult sons Greg and Michael. And like any dad, Ive done more than pass on the good stuff. Thats right: God has a sense of humor, and Greg and Michael are just like me two more rusty nails in the Smalley toolbox. Heres the proof:

• Not long after Greg and Erin got married, they were one argument away from splitting up.
• Michael wasnt speaking to his new bride eighteen hours after the wedding ceremony. He and Amy spent their first six months together camped on the rocks of discontent.

But theres good news too. Even though we are a trio of rusty nails, were willing to do whatever we can to get our relationships right. And thats what this book is about helping you develop your own relational toolbox that will help you make all your relationships exciting and successful.

My sons and I may be rusty nails, but when we realize we need to add the right relational tools, were willing to do whatever we can to get the ones we need.

So you see, the beat goes on. And the message I bring you about building your relationships is now made three times stronger by the efforts of my sons. Yes, we still bumble our way through conversations with our wives every now and then. But weve learned something about relational tools, and its this: With the right tools, we can build stronger, better relationships than we had before.

Thats what we want to share with you in the pages of this book.

The information here will not answer all of your questions or solve all of your problems, but it will equip you with the tools to truly love and understand the people who are most important to you.

Now let us tell you a little bit about how this book came to be.

It happened one weekend when we three Smalley guys were together. Instead of swapping boasts about who had the better jump shot or the sweeter swing on the golf course, we were brainstorming.

We had been asked to write a relationship book for guys. Our conversation went something like this:

I dont know if I can do it, Greg said as he stretched out his legs. Im tired of men-bashing books.

Yeah, Im tired of being portrayed as the 1940s inept relational guy. Things have changed. Men arent bumbling idiots when it comes to relationships. Were just different from women, Michael said. Cant we write a book about guys and relationships without coming off like a bunch of well-meaning, bumbling idiots?

Cant we write a book about our good points? Greg suggested. The reasons we excel as providers, protectors that kind of thing?

We started to catch Gregs passion. You mean, take a look at our strengths, at why were good at certain things? I asked.

Greg was on his feet. Exactly! he said. Why are we good at providing, for instance?