James Williams - Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child: Seeing an Overwhelming World Through Their Eyes

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote: And those who were seen dancing were thought to be crazy by those who could not hear the music. The highly sensitive child isnt crazy. Nor are they slow, or weak, or just not tough enough. They simply dance to a tune that not everyone can hear.

I hope you have found this little book helpful in hearing the music to which the child you know dances. Once you know the tune exists, and you listen for it carefully, youll find its beautiful, moving, powerful music.

In this little book, I have focused on the highly sensitive child and how they experience the world, in the hope that it will help improve understanding which is the foundation of any endeavour to help, guide, support.

Youll find more information about how you can help highly sensitive children thrive in our series of books entitled Supporting the Highly Sensitive Child.

As the author of this truly brilliant little book, James Williams explains that he is not an academic or a psychologist. I am simply a man who feels very passionately about the subject. He is highly sensitive and so is one of his daughters, and he writes about sensitivity with both simplicity and depth. His sensitivity also shows in his books briefness. Caregivers of children need an author to get to the point so they can go get groceries, pick up the kids etc. James book can be read in an hour, yet it has charming examples as well as great suggestions and a full, scientifically accurate description of the trait. James is reaching out to all parents, carers and teachers of sensitive children and whether through this book or on his website, he is a wonderful resource.

Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., is the author of the worldwide bestsellers The Highly Sensitive Person and The Highly Sensitive Child, she has pioneered the research into Highly Sensitive People.

Seeing an Overwhelming World through Their Eyes

James Williams

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, adapted, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the author.

The rights of James Williams to be identified as the author of this work have been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN: 978-1-910100-55-4

EBook formatting by www.ebooksbydesign.co

Welcome to this little guide to understanding the highly sensitive child. The aim of this book is simple: to help you experience the world from the childs perspective, so that you can better understand them.

Im not an academic. Im not a psychologist. Im simply a man who is very, very passionate about the subject because:

• I am a highly sensitive person.
• I have a highly sensitive daughter (and a non-highly sensitive daughter).

High sensitivity has a massive impact on my familys life, and coming to understand the trait has transformed our lives for the better. Before we understood high sensitivity we were bumbling about in the dark; now were in the light.

I wish the entire world knew all about high sensitivity. What a wonderful world it would be if highly sensitive children and people were understood, accepted and truly valued for who they are.

All I can do is keep spreading the word, and hope that eventually everyone connected with children; teachers, health and medical professionals, care workers, parents etc. recognize without judgement, value and nurture highly sensitive children.

You can connect, keep up with our latest news, books and thinking via these channels:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/MyHighlySensitiveChild
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/FamilyFeelings
• The community and blog: http://FamilyFeelings.today/

The book is for anyone who is caring for or working with a highly sensitive child, from parents and grandparents to teachers and nursery staff.

The single most effective way to help a highly sensitive child is to attune to them, which means tuning in to their experience. To be attuned you need to watch the child carefully, and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. This demands a commitment of time and focus, and suspending your own judgement. It also requires you to have a good understanding of the high sensitivity trait and thats where this book comes in.

In this simple, concise guide I distil the reams of information available on the highly sensitive child so that you can get the knowledge you need quickly and easily.

For the purposes of providing the childs perspective, in this book I use two characters:

• Arthur is highly sensitive across many areas. He embodies many of the traits of high sensitivity.
• Kathryn, Arthurs sister, isnt highly sensitive at all (shes a non-highly sensitive child).

Arthur and Kathryn do not represent real individuals, but are simplified examples. Each highly sensitive child is different, and not all are like Arthur. So in sidebars I include examples of what life is like for other highly sensitive children.

Finally, thank you to all the highly sensitive children and parents from the online community and social media channels who inspired, contributed to and supported the writing of this book. Together, I believe were making a difference.

Before you can think about experiencing the world from the perspective of a highly sensitive child, you need to know the answers to two basic questions:

• What is highly sensitive?
• How can you tell whether a child is highly sensitive?

This first chapter aims to help you answer these questions. Then, once you understand the basics of the highly sensitive trait, you have a foundation of knowledge on which you can build in the following chapters.

How you may use this chapter depends on your current level of understanding:

• Settled in the highly sensitive world: You already know a good deal about the trait. Perhaps youve read Dr Elaine Arons The Highly Sensitive Child, and looked at other materials online. Youre ready to deepen your understanding so that you can help a highly sensitive child to grow and thrive. You may want to refresh your knowledge of the basics here before moving on; alternatively, feel free to skip this chapter and head straight to Chapter 2.
• New to the highly sensitive world: First and foremost, welcome! This world may seem a little strange and daunting at first, but in no time youll be feeling at home, and benefiting hugely from ideas, strategies and support from others who are living with the trait. Chapter 1 is your starting place. And if youre caring for a child who is highly sensitive, the understanding youll gain here will be life-changing.

Anyone whos highly sensitive owes a debt of thanks to one lady: Elaine N. Aron. It was Dr Aron who, in the 1980s, first coined the term highly sensitive in her book The Highly Sensitive Person. In doing so, she took highly sensitive people out of the shadow of labels like shy, introverted, inhibited and fearful which do not describe us all and for the first time introduced the notion that highly sensitive has a positive side. All of the basic information we know about highly sensitive people stems from Dr Arons ground-breaking work, and I cant recommend her books and articles highly enough to anyone looking to understand high sensitivity. To find out more, visit her website at www.hsperson.com.