Cooper Addison - Adoption at the movies: a year of adoption friendly movie nights to get your family talking

Movies have that magical ability to transport us to a different place and see things in new ways. They can be a useful, and sometimes less painful, vehicle for gaining insight into important life issues. With Addison Coopers guidance, adoptive families can easily choose films to help them initiate important conversations in a non-threatening manner. Building on his popular Adoption at the Movies blog, Coopers new book (of the same name) organizes 63 movies into four main categories. Alphabetical, age, and topic indexes add to the books usability. Adoptive families and professionals who work with them will find this to be a welcome resource.

Linda May Grobman, MSW, LSW, ACSW, Publisher/Editor of The New Social Worker Magazine

Adoption at the Movies does two huge favors for adoptive parents. First, it reveals the whys and hows of having tough conversations with our kids. Second, through previews it guides us through how to best use films as conversation starters that can foster intimacy and trust, while alerting us to potential hazards. This way parents can make good decisions about what to see and what to wait on. I wish Id had this guide from Day 1 as an adoptive parent to my children.

Lori Holden of LavenderLuz.com , author of The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption

Open communication is vital to the well-being of any family, but parents through adoption may struggle to introduce the subject. Adoption at the Movies can help parents get past this stumbling block. When you watch a film with an adoption theme, the topic is already on the table, er, screen, so the conversation can unfold naturally. Coopers clear-eyed assessments of dozens of films, including excellent discussion questions, should lead to many enjoyable eveningsand many more hours of healthy conversationin any family formed through adoption.

Eve Gilman, Editor of Adoptive Families magazine

Adoption at the Movies is a well-researched and accessible resource for all adoptive families who watch films together. Addison Cooper shows how many films aimed at children are essentially about absent or neglectful caregivers, loss, and the search for belonging, and why these themes may trigger difficult feelings in adopted children. His book gives parents the tools not only to make informed decisions and to prepare before watching a film but it suggests ways in which each film can be used as a starting point for a significant conversation. It is great to read something that not only forewarns but forearms too, and which encourages families to explore themes and difficulties together and to use films as a resource. The book is easy to use, packed with popular films and appropriate to a wide age range. I wish Id read it at the start of our journey as an adoptive family but Ill certainly be using it now.

Sally Donovan, author of No Matter What

ADOPTION
AT THE MOVIES

A Year of Adoption-Friendly Movie Nights to Get Your Family Talking

Addison Cooper

Foreword by Rita L. Soronen

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Disclaimer: All movies are property of their respective copyright owners; this book is not endorsed by or affiliated with any of the filmmakers.

First published in 2017

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Addison Cooper 2017

Foreword copyright Rita L. Soronen 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying, storing in any medium by electronic means or transmitting) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the law or under terms of a licence issued in the UK by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd. www.cla.co.uk or in overseas territories by the relevant reproduction rights organisation, for details see www.ifrro.org. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 78592 709 6

eISBN 978 1 78450 275 1

To your family, and to mine.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

Art, in all of its forms, generates a rich mosaic for thought and discussion of our shared experiences, feelings and beliefs. The art of the movie is no exception. The magical blend of music, image, and dialogue in particular can surprise us by provoking some of our deepest emotions.

Similarly, adoption is a complex human experience that at various stages of a childs development can be both full of joy and deep with sadness; an experience that feels inclusive, or one that alienates; a source of secrecy and shame or an opportunity for security and celebration. Unknowingly, an image or a phrase in a movie can elicit a response from a child that, without a safe place to share his or her feelings, can linger unresolved.

For years, Addison Cooper has been a singular voice, gracefully helping parents and professionals to navigate the abundant adoption themes embedded in movies and suggesting ways to use what is viewed on the screen to encourage open family discussions. In Adoption at the Movies , he has deepened the conversation with an insightful look at dozens of productions, from Angels in the Outfield to Up , carving out the thematic strengths and the challenges families might face when watching together, while providing a guide through scenes that may trigger unexplored memories or emotions. Mr. Cooper encourages us to use this wonderful platform to open critical conversations about the adoption journey that so many families experience.

In The Wizard of Oz , when Dorothy famously clicks her ruby slippers together and whispers, Theres no place like home, theres no place like home, we all are taken back to a time when, as children, we were lost, wishing simply to be surrounded by those who would love and protect us. When she wakes in her own bed, surrounded by concerned family, we are relieved and happy for her. We also are hopefulhopeful that every child in need can experience a journey that although most certainly will be challenged by doubt, loneliness and fear, at the end of the day, will also be embraced by family and home.

Adoption at the Movies is a unique and valuable resource for families and one that will continue to elevate our understanding of the challenges and joys of adoption.

Rita L. Soronen

President and CEO, Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

DISCLAIMERS

Movies can be helpful tools for families that want to talk about adoption. In this book, youll find 63 films that might be helpful to you, along with some recommended discussion questions and general estimates of the age ranges that might best appreciate a film. However, you know your kids better than I do, so please use your own judgment when deciding which films to watch together and which questions to include in your discussions. Also, no book can provide the individualized guidance that you can expect from a professional therapist. Sometimes, you might find an issue too complex to process without professional help. Theres no shame in asking for help, and theres no shame in asking whether you should ask for help.