Dubief - Precious little sleep: the complete baby sleep guide for modern parents

Precious Little Sleep
The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents
Alexis Dubief

2017 Alexis Dubief

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Lomhara Press

ISBN 978-0-9975808-0-8 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-9975808-1-5 (electronic)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017907551

Cover and interior design by Peter Cocking
Illustrations by Daniel Bradford
Editing by Stephanie Fysh and Arlene Prunkl
Special contributions by Dr. Rebecca Ruid
Legal support by Robert Bertsche

A NOTE TO MY SLEEP DEPRIVED READERS

I am not a medical professional, and I never have been. Rather, I am an experienced parent. I have worked with many families struggling with sleep issues, and have talked with countless medical professionals. Ive also reviewed the hundreds of medical and scientific studies that are referenced in the footnotesall so that you do not have to do so. (These journal articles are, however, useful tools in case you find yourself in need of literature to put you to sleep.) Even some of the literature out there is contradictory, particularly with regard to the unknown causes of sudden infant death syndrome ( SIDS ) and the benefits and risks of co-sleeping (which the American Academy of Pediatrics, some 60,000 pediatricians strong, considers an unmitigated hazard).

My goal in this book is to share with you my experience, understandings, and opinions. I cannot warrant or guarantee that following the information in this book will prevent your child from suffering medical injury. Nothing can replace the watchful eye of a loving parent or the expert advice of (and regular visits with) a skilled pediatrician.

My point is this: Nothing in this book should be construed as medical advice, which I am in no way qualified to dispense. No book can replace highly qualified medical care. The advice and strategies I outline may not be the right ones for your situation. Neither I nor my publisher shall be liable for any loss or damage allegedly arising from information provided in this book. When you have concerns about your childs health or sleep patterns, and in addressing your own childs particular sleep issues, you should always check with your pediatrician. That is because we all share one common commitment: that nothing is more important than the safety of your family.

To Yves, Duncan, and Brice.
You guys are better than unicorn magic.

S LEEP IS LIKE air: you dont give it much thought until you cant get enough of it, then its all you can think about.

It seems that sleep should happen naturally, like pooping. You might, therefore, reasonably assume that babies will simply fall asleep when they need to.

But they dont.

Newborns need a lot of coaching from us to fall asleep. Its easy to do whatever works to make that happen for the first few weeks because sleep is often scarce then, and hard to achieve. As those weeks stretch into months, however, the whatever works strategy will trap you with crap naps and bad nights.

Many people have experienced discrete periods of severe sleep deprivationpulling an all-nighter for finals, going through basic training, taking a red-eyebut none of those prepare you for the relentless exhaustion that comes from months or years of parenting a non-sleeping child.

On top of the chronic sleep deprivation is massive stressthe feeling that you are failing your child, because they are also chronically sleep deprived. Nothing is more painful than watching your child, whom you adore, go through an entire fussy day of micronaps, or trying to coax an overtired child to sleep at bedtim e... and then again at 11 p.m., 1 a.m., 2 a.m., etc., all while knowing that your child needs to sleep better but feeling lost as to how to help them do so.

A pervasive myth claims that sustained severe sleep deprivation is the price of parenting, one you should quietly endure because you love your children.

But the truth is that healthy sleep is not optional: its essentialfor our children and for us. Endless exhaustion is neither necessary nor beneficial. The drive to help your child sleep well is not selfish but rooted in the knowledge that sleep is best for their health and well-being.

Ive done my best to create a resource that will give you all the knowledge, tools, and strategies you need to establish healthy sleep for your family. Unfortunately, the realm of infant sleep information is often confusing and full of contradictory advice, making it seem enormously complicated.

But it isnt. It boils down to a half-dozen fundamental goals:

1. Ensuring safe sleep
2. Providing loads of soothing for younger babies
3. Sleeping at the right time
4. Establishing independent sleep
5. Closing the all-night restaurant
6. Being consistent

This book presents strategies that support these goals, and guidelines on how to apply those strategies based on your childs age and temperament and your parenting philosophy. If you follow the advice in this book, you can be confident that youre doing all you can to foster healthy sleep for your family.

Parents are notoriously short on time for leisure reading. If youre a Level 6 Sleep Wizard, feel free to use the table of contents to skip to the relevant chapters for your situation.

However, most people should just go ahead and read the entire book. Now youre probably thinking, What is this madness? Ive been wearing the same underpants for a week, and if I dont have time to deal with underpants, I definitely dont have time to read even half a book. I hear you, I really do. Also, Im totally not judging you about the underpants situation.

If reading the whole book is simply impossible and youre the parent of a newborn, focus on

• Chapter 1Baby Sleep: Essentials
• Chapter 2The Party That Is Newborn Sleep
• Chapter 5Baby Sleep Power Tools

If you are the parent of a 4- to 6-month-old, try to carve out time for

• Chapter 1Baby Sleep: Essentials
• Chapter 3Bedtime Is the New Happy Hour
• Chapter 4How Babies Sleep
• Chapter 5Baby Sleep Power Tools
• Chapter 6Teaching Baby to Sleep, Part 1: SWAP
• Chapter 7Teaching Baby to Sleep, Part 2: SLIP
• Chapter 9Eating and Not Sleeping
• Chapter 10Becoming the Zen Nap Ninja Master

If your child is 6 to 12 months old, take a gander at

• Chapter 3Bedtime Is the New Happy Hour
• Chapter 4How Babies Sleep
• Chapter 6Teaching Baby to Sleep, Part 1: SWAP
• Chapter 7Teaching Baby to Sleep, Part 2: SLIP
• Chapter 9Eating and Not Sleeping
• Chapter 10Becoming the Zen Nap Ninja Master
• Chapter 11Why, When, and How to Wean Off Your Sleep Power Tools

If your child is a toddler or preschooler, start with

• Chapter 4How Babies Sleep
• Chapter 13Older Kids, Siblings, and Twins

Chapter 12, (Un)common Sleep Setbacks, addresses less common issues, so dip in there if youve ruled out the more obvious causes of sleep struggles.

The appendix, Potential Medical Complications for Sleep, wont apply to 95% of you because the issues it presents are fairly rare. If, however, you suspect that your child is sleeping poorly due to something more than because babies, the information there can form the basis for an informed conversation with your pediatrician.