Heitritter Lynn - Helping victims of sexual abuse: [a sensitive biblical guide for counselors, victims, and families]

HELPING
VICTIMS OF
SEXUAL
ABUSE

HELPING
VICTIMS OF
SEXUAL
ABUSE

LYNN HEITRITTER
& JEANETTE VOUGHT

Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse
Copyright 1989, 2006
Lynn Heitritter and Jeanette Vought

Revised by Lynn Heitritter in 2006.

Cover design by Eric Walljasper

All scripture quotations not marked otherwise in this publication are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations identified RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible. Copyright 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations identified NKJV are from the New King James Version of the Bible. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified NRSV are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified TLB are from The Living Bible 1971 owned by assignment by Illinois Regional Bank N.A. (as trustee). Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified The Message are from The Message. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written
permission of the publisher and copyright owners.

Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN-13: 978-0-7642-0228-5
ISBN-10: 0-7642-0228-6

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Heitritter, Lynn.
Helping victims of sexual abuse : a sensitive biblical guide for counselors, victims, and families / Lynn Heitritter and Jeanette Vought. Updated ed.

p. cm.

Summary: Includes documentation of abuse of children and adults and the work of the support group BECOMERS in restoring victims to normal, productive lives through relationship with Christ. Covers nine steps to mental, emotional, and spiritual wholenessProvided by publisher.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-7642-0228-6 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Sexually abused childrenPastoral counseling of. 2. Adult child sexual abuse victimsPastoral counseling of. I. Vought, Jeanette. II. Title.
BV4464.3.H44 2006
261.8'3272dc22 2006008824

We wish to acknowledge our families
for their unfailing support,
encouragement, and prayer
during the preparation of this work.
We thank you and we love you.

We wish to dedicate this book
to the courageous women and men
who have fought the good fight into recovery
and shared their lives with us
so that together we might encourage others
to come out of the darkness into the Light.

About the Authors

LYNN HEITRITTER, RN, PhD, has been a faculty associate in Marriage and Family Studies at Bethel Theological Seminary and was the founder and former director of BECOMERS Sexual Abuse Support Group Program. Together with her family, she has provided licensed foster care to physically and sexually abused adolescents. For nearly a decade she promoted strategies for abuse prevention through family wellness workshops and seminars to equip clergy and laypersons in acquiring skills needed to break cycles of shame in families and churches. She and her husband spend much of the year in Africa, currently serving with The Love of Christ Ministries, a South African orphanage that cares for babies abandoned due to HIV/AIDS. She and her husband maintain a home in Minnesota and have two adult daughters.

JEANETTE VOUGHT, PhD, LP, is the executive director and founder of Christian Recovery Center in Minneapolis. She is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, a licensed social worker, and a certified criminal justice specialist. Former president of the Minnesota chapter of the North American Christians in Social Work national board, Vought has extensive experience in counseling sexual abuse victims (including child, adolescent, and adult) as well as sexual abuse offenders; she has extensive experience in conducting BECOMERS sexual abuse workshops and group leaders training sessions, and she has several years experience in the field of social work and group home coordinating. For ten years she conducted in-prison inmate seminars as a volunteer for Prison Fellowship. She and her husband have four grown sons and make their home in Minnesota. Vought has also written the book Post-Abortion Trauma, Nine Steps to Recovery. Anyone wishing to contact the authors to schedule training seminars and workshops, to request BECOMERS start-up packets or additional resources, or for assistance in developing a local BECOMERS group, may contact them at the following address:

BECOMERS
Christian Recovery Center
6120 Earle Brown Drive, Suite 200
Brooklyn Center, MN 55430
(763) 566-0088
www.christianrecoverycenter.org

To Our Readers

Sexual abuse is not only prevalent in society at large but is occurring within the church as well. Sixteen years ago we began the introduction to the first edition of this book by stating that we recognized a need to inform the church about sexual abuse. As well, we wanted to provide specific materials that would enable people within the church to develop effective ministry to adults who had experienced sexual abuse as children. Over the years, while many have been helped, many continue to bear scars of childhood abuse and desperately struggle with hidden trauma that interferes with spiritual growth and relationships with others. The revised edition builds on our earlier vision of equipping members of the body of Christ to promote healing and restoration of women and men who have been victims of sexual abuse.

Our purpose is fourfold. First, we hope to provide Christian counselors, clergy, support group leaders, and those involved in ministries of care with increased understanding of the experience of childhood sexual abuse victims and to provide resources that can be used as tools in the recovery process of adult survivors and those who love them. Second, we want to help adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse to identify areas of damage resulting from sexual abuse, to feel strengthened as they participate in their individual journeys of recovery, and to be encouraged that many adult survivors have experienced restoration and are living satisfying and successful lives. Third, we wish to help friends, relatives, and spouses in their efforts to be supportive to loved ones who have been victims of sexual abuse. Fourth, we offer current perspectives about ministry to adult survivors of sexual abuse over the past two decades.

The book is divided into five sections, each with a particular focus.

Section One acquaints the reader with sexual abuse as seen through the eyes of children, including life histories of adult survivors sharing some of the trauma of their childhood experiences. Special attention is given to the effects of abuse from childhood, through adolescence, and into adulthood. This section describes physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual damage of sexual abuse.