Perottoni - Baldies: a field guide to the northern hemisphere

Baldies A Field Guide to the northern hemisphere Fernando L. Perottoni Workman Publishing, New York Contents Theres many a man hath more hair than wit.The Comedy of Errors (act 2, scene 2) Welcome to the Baldness Hall of Fame and Infamyan illustrated collection featuring some of the worlds most distinguished and distinguishable heads. If you, reader, are part of this respected and powerful group, count yourself lucky. And if not, you are nonetheless invited to enjoy this visual celebration of recognizably receding hairlines, curious chrome domes, and peculiar pates. When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Heres some simple advice: Always be yourself. Heres some simple advice: Always be yourself.

Never take yourself too seriously. And beware of advice from experts, pigs, and members of Parliament. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. I suppose I am a real professor, arent I? Next thing you know, Ill be going bald. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming? There is much to be learned from beasts. Stay hungry.

Stay foolish. Ive developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time. Well, I wasnt a model student, but imagine being a bald fourteen-year-old in an elite prep school. Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. What the deuce? Wax on, wax off. Painting is self-discovery. Painting is self-discovery.

Every good artist paints what he is. What the hell are you? You were good, kid, real good. But as long as Im around, youll always be second best, see? Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think theyre gonna relate to? Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship? Hey, you guys! No. I am your father. I can promise you two things.

One: Ill always look this good. Two: Ill never give up on you... ever. ... We shall let the reader answer this question for himself: Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? Women love a self-confident bald man. This is your last chance.