Sarah Woodhouse - Sound sleep : calming and helping your baby or child to sleep

Copyright 2020 Sarah Woodhouse

Sound Sleep 2003 Sarah Woodhouse. Re-printed 2004. 2019.

Originally published and re-published by Hawthorn Press in partnership with Right from the Start.

Paperback and E-book publication by Troubadour 2019

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Cover design by Pam Communications

Cover photograph: Thinkstock by Getty Images

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

The information and advice presented in this E-book has been reviewed and approved by medical doctors and childcare professionals. It should not however substitute for the advice of your own doctor or trained healthcare professional. You are advised to consult with them with regard to all matters that may require medical attention or diagnosis and particularly to check with your childcare professional before undertaking the Timed Settling routine described in . The publisher and author specifically disclaim any responsibility for any risk which may be claimed or incurred as a consequence of the practice of anything presented in this book.

See www.right-from-the-start.org for details of further Right from the Start books, products and parent support.

Matador

9 Priory Business Park, Wistow Road, Kibworth Beauchamp, Leicestershire, LE8 0RX

Tel: 0116 279 2299

Email:

Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador

Twitter: @matadorbooks

ISBN 978 1838597 955

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

This book is dedicated to Franoise Freedman, Founder and Director of Birthlight and to Joe Chiltern Pearce. Both these visionary and extra-ordinary authors and teachers taught me all that matters most about the human spirit and the needs of babies, children and their parents. Their wisdom and affection have inspired me all my working life.

Contents

Foreword

The Right from the Start charity was launched by George Alagiah and Kate Adie in 2003 with the first publication of Sound Sleep. This updated, enriched and very welcome republication of Sound Sleep comes sixteen years later.

The original sense of the urgent, unmet needs of new parents which inspired Sarah Woodhouse to write it came from some of the research findings published in the NSPCC Annual Report in 1985; the Governments Three Year Research Programme (based at the Coram Family Centre during the early 90s which looked at the root causes of neglect and abuse in families) also and the Calouste Gulbenkian Report, Children and Violence published in 1995.

During the four years that Sarah spent exploring these research findings she talked to very many people parents, grandparents, midwives, Health Visitors, doctors, community nurses and perinatal professionals. She collected memorable experiences and stories, in their own words, from a multitude of people. She also attended many conferences and read and distilled books, papers and other impeccable research materials.

In the time that has passed since the first edition, the world has seen an explosion of research, especially in the field of neuroscience and into the details of what babies and young children really need for their whole and healthy development. While there are continuous new breakthroughs in knowledge and understanding, especially about brain and memory development in the womb (and at such a stunning pace during the first three years after birth) little of the first edition has needed to be rewritten. Everything Sarah has changed or added has been positively confirmed by further research.

The need to give greater emotional, spiritual and practical help and support to expectant and new parents has never subsided. In many and new ways the loneliness, confusion, worry and sadness faced now perhaps especially by mothers and the threats to warm and strong family life are on the increase. There are many causes of this, all of which other books in the Right from the Start series try to address.

The aim of this revised edition of Sound Sleep is unchanged. It is to inspire a recognition and deeper thinking and understanding of the fundamental mental, emotional and spiritual needs of parents and their babies, whatever their circumstances, and whatever their culture or faith. It is about how we might help each other respond most practically to these understood needs with warmth, intelligence and commitment. I feel very privileged to write the Foreword to the revised edition of a book Ive always admired greatly.

Sue Palmer

Childhood campaigner and author of Toxic Childhood: how the modern world is damaging our children and what we can do about it. Also Detoxing Childhood: What Parents need to know to raise happy, successful children.

Introduction

This book is about how to understand your babys crying and respond to it as calmly and peacefully as possible! It is also about how to settle babies, toddlers and young children and help them sleep.

The early chapters look at why babies cry, what it might mean and how you can comfort them. It is never wrong for a baby or child to cry. When they cry, they need to cry. It is their way of calling out for help, especially when they have no words yet they can use. It is also a way new-borns, during the first few weeks can get rid of the tension and stress built up in their little bodies during their birth.

The same goes for older babies and toddlers. The triggers for crying or for screaming are always sudden and acute feelings of loss, upset, fear, shock, pain or hunger pangs.

For a baby, crying is as natural as breathing and sucking. It is meant to break into our thoughts and attract our attention. It is up to us to accept the crying and do all we can to give help and comfort as quickly as we can. But this is far from easy. What does our baby want? Why do some babies go on crying even after we have fed them, burped them, changed them, rocked them and cuddled them?

This book looks at crying and screaming both from the babys point of view and from that of parents and carers. What does this crying do to us? How can we help to calm and steady ourselves as well as comfort our babies? Here are insights, tips, tactics and remedies drawn from the experiences of parents and professionals from different communities and cultures, which can help you compare your experiences with theirs and try out different. ways to stop the crying and settle your baby. Only repetition and perseverance will help you to discover what works best for you both.

A newborn baby is full of courage, intelligence and the longing to be loved and to love you back. Giving birth and caring for your baby, and watching her grow and develop can be one of the most magical wonders in your life. The purpose of this book is to help make this magic happen, through sharing all kinds of ideas and special skills and offering every kind of encouragement.