Carla Naumburg, PhD, is a clinical social worker, writer, and mother. Her first book, Parenting in the Present Moment, was published by Parallax Press in 2014. Naumburg is the Mindful Parenting blogger for psychcentral.com, and a contributing editor at kveller.com. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Huffington Post, as well as in a number of academic journals and online magazines. Naumburg holds an MSW and a PhD in social work, and she has an advanced certificate in mindfulness and psychotherapy. She currently lives outside of Boston, MA, with her husband and two young daughters. Connect with Carla and read all of her writing at www.carlanaumburg.com.
Full of wise, playful, and effective strategiesif every parent picked up this book, wed have a lot happier families.
Elisha Goldstein, PhD, cofounder of the Center for Mindful Living and author of Uncovering Happiness
This book is a great introduction to mindfulness, and it has a wealth of simple but effective practices that parents can do with their children. Carla shows us how to help our kids pay attention, regulate their emotions, develop empathy, and ultimately understand themselves. Carlas writing is honest, relatable, and funnythis book will be a blessing for parents (and their kids)!
Sarah Rudell Beach, MEd, mindfulness instructor, executive director of Brilliant Mindfulness, LLC, and creator of the website leftbrainbuddha.com
Carla Naumburg always keeps it realwith wisdom, humor, humility, and profound compassion. In Ready, Set, Breathe, she offers simple, practical tools for parents and kids to be more mindful, starting today.
Deborah Sosin, LICSW, MFA, author of Charlotte and the Quiet Place
Ready, Set, Breathe fulfills on its promise, providing simple, doable practices to support parents in bringing mindfulness into the sweet chaos of family life. The writing is honest and engaging, with healthy doses of the humor and compassion all parents need.
Amy Saltzman, MD, author A Still Quiet Place
Multitasking parents can take more than a page from this simple, sweet, and straightforward guide to mindfully preventing meltdowns not just in our kids, but in ourselves as well.
Christopher Willard, PsyD, Harvard Medical School, author of Growing Up Mindful and other books
Clear, thoughtful, and funny. This wonderful and candid book gives us ways to bring the miracle of mindfulness to our families. For all the parents out there who have been wondering how to bring mindfulness to their children, Carla has written the comprehensive guide. I will be recommending and referencing this book for a long time to come! Carla gives so many simple and varied ways to share mindfulness and have more peaceful families. Plus, shes the clearest, most down-to-earth writer about mindfulness that Ive ever read (and Ive read many). A book that may change your life!
Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE, RYT, founder of Hunter Yoga
This book gives parents a wealth of tools, activities, and explorations that can make parenting more joyful and engaging, while supporting the well-being of the entire family. Carla shares these ideas in a loving, humor-filled, realistic way that will immediately put you at easeyoull feel like youre talking with a good friend.
Jennifer Cohen Harper, MA, E-RCYT, founder of Little Flower Yoga and the School Yoga Project, author of Little Flower Yoga for Kids, and mom of Isabelle May
Carla Naumburgs book Ready, Set, Breathe is a wonderfully engaging and easy-to-understand gift to parents, offering simple yet meaningful ways to practice mindfulness themselves and with their children.
Susan Kaiser Greenland, author of The Mindful Child and cofounder of Inner Kids
Publishers Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright 2015 by Carla Naumburg New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 5674 Shattuck Avenue Oakland, CA 94609 www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Sara Christian
Acquired by Melissa Valentine
Edited by Brady Kahn
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Naumburg, Carla.
Ready, set, breathe : practicing mindfulness with your children for fewer meltdowns and a more peaceful family / Carla Naumburg.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-62625-290-5 (paperback) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-291-2 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-292-9 (epub) 1. Parenting--Psychological aspects. 2. Stress management. 3. Games--Psychological aspects. 4. Parent and child. I. Title.
HQ755.8.N387 2015
306.874--dc23
2015030062
This book is dedicated to my villageto all of my parent friends out there who are also struggling to raise their children with as much kindness and skill as possible. Parenting isnt an easy journey, and I am so grateful to be traveling it alongside all of you. Thank you for your humor, your honesty, and your support. My life with two little ones wouldnt be half as much as fun without all of you.
Introduction
Will you please just calm down and take a breath? I snapped at my five-year-old daughter the other morning. We had both gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, and things had gone downhill from there. She was circling me in the kitchen, whining and crying because we had run out of her favorite cereal and I had denied her request to take a tiny and very beloved toy to preschool. Her four-year-old sister, who was supposed to be sitting at the table eating her breakfast, kept getting down to grab a toy or to finish a drawing she was working on, and I had to keep reminding her to get back in her seat and finish eating. Meanwhile, I was stressed about everything that I needed to do that morning: make lunches, get dressed, finish packing my work bags, and hustle everyone out the door on time. In the back of my mind, I was feeling guilty about leaving that afternoon for a three-day work trip. Even though I knew that the girls would be fine at home with their dad, I also knew that my impending absence was part of why my daughter was having such a hard morning, and I couldnt help but feel bad about it. Not unlike my little girl, I was tired and overwhelmed, and barking at her to breathe was the closest I could get to my mindfulness practice in that momentwhich is to say, not very close at all.
Not surprisingly, she responded in kind. I dont want to breathe, Mommy!
The ridiculousness of her statement may have been lost on her, but it snapped me out of my own irritability just long enough to give me a little perspective. I put down the peanut butter knife, put my hands flat on the counter, and took a few deep breaths. When I felt myself calm down a little bit, I picked up my daughter, sat down with her on my lap, and kept breathing. Eventually her heaving chest calmed down and her breathing became more slow and steady. After a few minutes, she asked me what I was doing.
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