Pat Thomas - Stop Picking on Me: A First Look at Bullying

First edition for the United States and Canada copyright 2000 by Barrons Educational Series, Inc. First edition for Great Britain published 1999 by Macdonald Young Books, an imprint of Wayland Publishers Ltd. Text Pat Thomas 2000
Illustrations Lesley Harker 2000
Volume Macdonald Young Books 2000 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by photostat, microfilm, xerography, or any other means, or incorporated into any information retrieval system, electronic or mechanical, without the written permission of the copyright owner. All inquiries should be addressed to:
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http://www.barronseduc.com Library of Congress Catalog Card No. Bullies enjoy hurting other people and making them do what they say. Bullies enjoy hurting other people and making them do what they say.

The only way they know how to get what they want is by being cruel. Bullies dont always hurt your bodythey can hurt your feelings as well. A bully can make you feel like its your fault that they are picking on you, even though this isnt true. Anyone can be a bully. It could be a boy or a girl, a person on their own or in a gang. It can even be an adult.

A bully can pick on you or leave you out of games and groups. At some time in their lives, most people have hurt someone else, without meaning to, by acting like a bully. But some people act this way all the time. Bullies never have a good reason for hurting other people. Often they pick on anyone they think is different from them.
Some bullies pick on people who are a different size from them or whose skin is a different color. Kids who act like bullies have probably been bullied themselves, sometimes by other children. Sometimes their parents or other adults may have been cruel to them. Sometimes their parents or other adults may have been cruel to them.

This is very sad, but it is never a good reason for being unkind to others. Bullies dont like themselves very much. This makes it hard for them to like other people and treat them well. The only way bullies can like themselves is to pick on others. Doing this makes them feel more powerful. We all need to feel loved.

That is why being bullied hurts so much. When someone is bullying you, it can make you feel scared or angry, miserable or hurt. You may not want to sleep, or when you do sleep you may have nightmares. You may not feel like eating or going to school anymore. You dont deserve to be bullied. Nobody does.

One of the hardest things to learn is how to deal with a bully without becoming a bully yourself. Hitting back or being cruel usually only makes the problem worse. A good way to stop bullying is to talk to someone about it. This can be a parent or a teacher or any grown-up you feel comfortable with. You may not want to talk to anyone about it, but you should. All bullies hope that their victims wont tell on them.

Keeping it to yourself lets a bully know that its all right to go on hurting you. Another way to stop bullies is to let the people who love you help. Other peoples love can help you feel good about yourself and reassure you that its not your fault if you are bullied. Bullies only pick on people they know they can hurt. Feeling good about yourself and liking yourself is probably the best way to stop them. Also, when you feel good about yourself you do not need to bully others to get what you want.

Thats important to remember because the fewer bullies there are in our world, the better place it will be for all of us to live in. HOW TO USE THIS BOOK A bullied child will have many powerful feelings dont let these panic or overwhelm you. A bullied child needs unconditional love first and foremost. If you try to make it better for instance, make your child less unhappy, less angry, or less scared you are not accepting your childs feelings. You can make your children more confident by giving them the freedom to express their feelings. When your child is being bullied it can sometimes bring up powerful memories of being bullied yourself.

When your child is a victim, it makes you a victim too, and this is very frightening for many adults. Try not to work unresolved feelings out through your child. Dont make your child fight the bully you wish you had fought, or say what you wish you had said.