Pat Thomas - I Am Feeling Bashful: A First Look at Shyness

First edition for the United States and Canada published in 2014 by Barrons Educational Series, Inc. First published in 2014 by Wayland Text copyright Pat Thomas 2014 Illustrations copyright Wayland 2014 Wayland is a division of Hachette Childrens Books, a Hachette UK company. www.hachette.co.uk Concept design: Kate Buxton Series design: Paul Cherrill for Basement68 Editor: Victoria Brooker All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner. All inquiries should be addressed to: Barrons Educational Series, Inc. 250 Wireless Boulevard Hauppauge, New York 11788 www.barronseduc.com eISBN: 978-1-4380-9284-3 Do you ever feel shy? Everyone has that feeling at some time in their lives even grown-ups! Shyness is a feeling its kind of like being scared and worried all at the same time.

When you are feeling shy, its easy to think that nobody likes you or cares about you, or wants to make friends with you even though thats not true. When you are feeling shy, you worry a lot about what others think of you, and it can be hard to join in with groups or just talk or laugh with the people around you. What about you? Are you sometimes shy? What sort of things do you worry about? Feeling shy can tie your tummy up in knots and make you feel afraid of new places and people. And it can make you want to hide away and be on your own. Sometimes it can be nice to just play on your own and not have to talk to anyone or share your things. But being on your own all the time can also make you feel lonely and left out.

And some things are just more fun when there are two or more of you together. Sometimes feeling shy can even be a good thing. Shy people often think twice before doing something. That can help keep you out of trouble! But when you are feeling really worried, talking to your parents or teachers about how you feel is a good way to help you feel safer and more confident. They probably all have stories about times when they felt shyand of how things worked out much better than they thought when they tried anyway. When you see other people who seem brave or who seem to always be the center of attention, you may think they are very different from you. But everyone has things they are afraid of and things that make them feel shy. You probably have lots of good ideas about fun things youd like to do and people youd like to meet if only you werent feeling so shy. You probably have lots of good ideas about fun things youd like to do and people youd like to meet if only you werent feeling so shy.

What about you? What sort of things would you like to do if you didnt feel too shy? As you get older it will be easier to let go of some of your shy feelings. And theres things you can practice now to help that happen, like saying hello to people and smiling at them even if you dont know them well. You could offer help to someone who needs it or try being friendly to another person who is also feeling shy. And every once in a while make an effort to try something new. And when you find yourself worrying about what others are thinking of you Try to remember this secret: most of the time they are wondering what you are thinking of them! When someone you know is shy, you can help them a lot by being kind and patient. Thats because people who are shy are a little like the stars in the sky.

Sometimes you have to wait a little while before you can really see them shine. HOW TO USE THIS BOOK This book is written largely from the childs perspective. It is meant to be read with your child, or with a group of children, in a way that allows the child to open up about what he or she thinks and feels. Everyone is different. If youre the parent of a shy child, it can be hard to watch your child struggle with shyness, especially if you were outgoing as a child. But all children, like all adults, are different.

The first step is to respect that difference without judging it. Children feel shy for a variety of reasons and may feel more or less so in different situations. In some situations shyness may even be a legitimate response. Reject labels. When you label a child as shy it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy or provide a wall for that child to hide behind. Get to the root of the problem.