Pat Thomas - I Miss You: a First Look at Death

First edition for the United States and Canada copyright 2001 by Barrons Educational Series, Inc.

First edition for Great Britain published 2000 by Hodder Wayland, an imprint of Hodder Childrens Books

Text Pat Thomas 2000
Illustrations Lesley Harker 2000

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by photostat, microfilm, xerography, or any other means, or incorporated into any information retrieval system, electronic or mechanical, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

All inquiries should be addressed to:
Barrons Educational Series, Inc.
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Hauppauge, NY 11788
http://www.barronseduc.com

Library of Congress Catalog Card No. 00-105773

ISBN-13: 978-0-7641-1764-0
eISBN: 978-1-4380-8389-6

First e-Book Publication: July 2012

Every day someone is born

and every day someone dies.

Death is a natural part of life. All living things grow, change, and eventually die.

When someone dies their body stops working they stop breathing and their heart stops beating. They cant think or feel anymore. They dont eat or sleep.

In books and in movies, it is usually bad people who die. But in real life good people die, too.

People die for different reasons. Some people die because they are old. Some people get very sick and then they die. Some people die because something unexpected and tragic happened to them.

After a person dies there is usually a ceremony called a funeral.

At the funeral, people who knew that person can gather together to say good-bye. They may bring flowers, tell stories, or recite poems.

It can be hard to say good-bye to someone you love. It is normal to miss them very much.

When someone dies, especially if the death is sudden, it is normal to think of things you wish you had said, or things you wish you had not said.

You may wish you had been nicer or more helpful. But the way you behaved did not make that person die.

Try to remind yourself that he or she died loving you for who you were, not for the things you did or said.

When someone you love dies it can feel as if your heart has been torn in two. It can feel as if part of you is missing.

These feelings can take a long time to get over. You may feel lots of different sad feelings before you finally begin to feel like yourself again.

When someone you love dies, it can be hard to do all the normal things you did before. You may not feel like seeing your friends or joining in groups. You may feel very alone.

Other people may find it hard to talk to you. This is not because they dont care, but because they dont know what to say or do to help you.

There is a lot we dont know about death. Every culture has different beliefs about what happens after a person dies.

But most cultures also share some beliefs. Like the idea that when a person dies their soul the part of them that made them special takes a journey to join the souls of other people who have passed away.

Its not an easy idea to understand.

Sometimes it helps if you think of the soul as a single raindrop, joining a great big ocean.

Even after someone you know or love dies, life goes on. The things you learned from that person stay inside of you and become a part of you.

As time goes on you will realize that no one is completely gone as long as you can remember the one you love.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

Children need to feel that they participated in the grieving that goes on after the death of someone close. If possible, try to encourage the child to make something for the person who has passed away that might be included in the burial ceremony. Or, if children are old enough, let them read a poem at the funeral.

When a family member dies, it can be very difficult for all members of the family to express their feelings. Life will not be normal for many months to come. Sometimes parents get so caught up in their own grief that they forget that their children are grieving, too. Try to remember that you are all in this together and that you all need each others support. Death, especially if it is untimely, is difficult for adults to make sense of. It is even harder for children, who have much less experience in the world.