Colin Cooper - A Dads Guide to Babycare

A DADS GUIDE TO

babycare

COLIN COOPER

First published in 2008 in the United Kingdom by

Carroll & Brown Publishers Limited

20 Lonsdale Road

London NW6 6RD

Managing Art Editor Emily Cook

Photography Jules Selmes

Text Colin Cooper 2008

Illustrations and compilation

Carroll & Brown Limited 2008

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from
the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-907952-38-8

The moral right of Colin Cooper to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner, except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London WIP 9HE. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Contents

Introduction

New mums think that new dads are useless. Do they have a point? Well, as were talking in generalisations here, the answer to that question is also going to be yes, but its not an insoluble problem.

We have to accept that women are naturally going to be the main care providers. They are biologically tuned-in to that role and the female body offers everything that a newborn baby needs in order to survive. But this puts a lot of pressure on mums and can cause problems for both parents. A mum needs help but will feel that she is the only person able to do the job properly; a dad may feel excluded and can become useless.

A new dad must signal his intention to be fully involved with the care of his child as early as possible, and then start living up to that promise as soon as his baby is born. Both partners need to be clear that the responsibilities for the baby and household are going to be shared equally, wherever possible.

A new mum will always believe that she can do things quicker for the baby than anyone else (shes probably right), and will often refuse help even when she is desperate and you are offering. Its stressful, shell say, and theres no time to show you what to do. But this means that not only are you pushed to the sidelines but you dont have the chance to learn so that you can take over next time. So you not only need to be assertive to carve out a role for yourself, you also need to know what you are doing and be confident about it so that you clearly have something to offer.

Most fathers learn babycare through trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. What this book aims to do is give you a shortcut to the wisdom of experienced dads who have learned the hard way.

Some of the advice will work for you immediately, other ideas will work one day but not the next. Some advice you will simply scoff at and turn the page it may seem crazy or just not relevant to your everyday life. Thats fine because there are no rules for bringing up babies; every child is different. But sometimes the most unlikely ideas will work when you least expect it, so its good to try different approaches just in case they surprise you.

There are chapters on all the basic techniques plus some big ideas to get your head around, such as how to handle the responsibility of being a role model. You will quickly learn what has to be done and how to do it. All you need then is practice. And you can tailor your approach in discussion with your partner to meet her needs and of your child.

In short, this book should give you everything you need to make yourself useful. Good luck!

Thats my baby

How your baby might look

Boy? Girl? Alien? All babies look a little like ET, with or without a healthy head of hair. It may help to think what you would look like had you spent nine months confined in a hot bath, before being forced out through the plughole raw, shrivelled, swollen and bruised are the first words that spring to mind. Of course, your baby may be beautiful from the start. But if you think not, other adoring family members will soon convince you that your baby is exceptionally handsome!