Bernie S. Siegel - Love, Magic & Mudpies: Raising Your Kids to Feel Loved, Be Kind, and Make a Difference

PRAISE FOR

LOVE, MAGIC & MUDPIES

BY BERNIE SIEGEL, MD

Love, Magic & Mudpies is an extraordinary book. Read Dr. Siegels very practical advice on how to raise conscious children and you will be participating in creating a better world.

Deepak Chopra, MD, author of The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents

Love, Magic & Mudpies is as funny, wise, and practical as its magical author. Every parent needs this book.

Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Mother-Daughter Wisdom

Love, Magic & Mudpies is a wonderful antidote to the No-Parent-is-Perfect-Enough school of parenting. Bernie Siegels delightful new book could have been written only by a seasoned father and grandfather who is also a pioneer of holistic medicine.

Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom

For years, Dr. Bernie Siegel has taught adults how to be healthier. Now he turns his attention to how to raise kids who are physically, mentally, and spiritually balanced. Instead of jargon and expert-ese, Dr. Siegel employs humor, creativity, and rare common sense.

Larry Dossey, MD, author of The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things

Dr. Bernie Siegel is a living demonstration of the healing power of commitment, compassion and love. What he offers the world in Love, Magic & Mudpies is a testimony of his wisdom. No matter what ails you, a dose of Bernie Siegel and his work is sure to work magic in your soul.

Iyanla Vanzant, author of One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

Notice

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2006 by Bernie Siegel, MD

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

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The poem is reprinted with permission of Alexis Rotella.
copyright 1983 by Alexis Rotella. All rights reserved.

Book design by Drew Frantzen

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Love, magic & mudpies: raising your kids to feel loved, be kind, and make a difference/by Bernie Siegel.

p. cm

ISBN-13 978-1-59486-554-1 hardcover

ISBN-10 1-59486-554-X hardcover

eISBN 978-162336-263-8

1. Child psychology. 2. Child rearing. 3. Love. I. Title.

HQ772.S493 2006

Distributed to the book trade by St. Martins Press

2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1 hardcover

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T his book is dedicated to the memory of my parents, Simon and Rose Siegel. It isnt easy to no longer have them as my parents. Being their child was an incredible gift.

I want to do more than thank all those who have continued to give me life, parent me, and raise me to be a decent human being, but I cannot find the words to tell them what I am feeling. My gratitude goes beyond language to my beloved wifeBobbie, our children and their spousesJonathan and Judy, Jeffrey, Stephen and Marcia, Carolyn and Roy, Keith and Janeand their children, Sam, Gabe, Eli, Simone, Jarrod, Patrick, Jason, and Charlie.

And thank you also to the people who have shared their lives with me over the years in my work as a physician and life coach as we have faced lifes difficulties and our mortality and the will to live. I have truly learned from them how to be a survivor, the powerful role parenting plays in our lives, and how we can all be re-parented and reborn.

I would like to acknowledge the assistance, support, help, and wisdom of several people who participated with me in the birthing of this book. Their efforts and patience meant a great deal to me because I am a surgeon and a multiple personality who is not always easy to work with or understand. They are my agent, Andrea Hurst, and her assistants, Christina Lutman and Liz Barrett. I also want to extend heartfelt thanks and gratitude to the folks at Rodale for their assistance and the wonderful work they do, and a special thanks to Mariska van Aalst for her editing and guidance. The word guidance says it all: GodU and Idancing the dance of creation. Bless you all.

We are required to obtain a license to fish, hunt, or drive, to practice medicine or law, or to open a business. However, we are not required to be licensed prior to becoming a parent. I believe this book can help you qualify for that license.

B ERNIE S. S IEGEL, MD

The children of the future do not belong to their parents alone: They are the concern of every one of us; they are literally the hope of the world.

K ARL M ENNINGER, MD

T he title of this book says it all. Love is necessary for our survival and is the key ingredient for both the parent and the child. Children see the magic in everything, and loving parents can and will experience so many magical moments while raising their children. Mudpies can be fun at times and also leave us covered with dirt.

When you look at your children and yourself, Id like you to accept that you are all part of this special magical relationship. While creating your family, Id like you to be in awe of life and its wonder but not hesitate to dive into life and take the risk of a mud bath now and then, too.

In my first book, Love, Medicine & Miracles, I share the stories of true survivors who refer to their diseases as blessings because of what being ill taught them about life. They taught me that beating a disease is not about being immortal but about how one lives in the face of adversity. They are the true heroes we can all learn from.

Love, Magic & Mudpies was written with the same goal in mindI want to help parents not only survive the ups and downs of parenting but help them make it a blessing, too. The magic excites and enlightens us, while the mud can become the fertilizer for our lives and relationships. In this book, I will share with you the gems I have garnered from my medical practice and family life. From my experience as a father of five, grandfather of eight, pediatric surgeon, counselor to those with life-threatening illnesses, and a Chosen Dad for the suicidal and abused children I have met, I know our childhoods have a profound effect on our lifelong health. Ive seen that what we learn in our earliest years has a direct effect on our self-esteem, behavior, and choices. It makes me realize that the parenting we receive is truly the number one health issue in most peoples lives.