Elizabeth Laban - The Grandparents Handbook: Games, Activities, Tips, How-tos, and All-around Fun

THE
GRAND PARENTS
HANDBOOK

GAMES, ACTIVITIES, TIPS,
HOW-TOS, AND ALL-AROUND FUN

By Elizabeth LaBan
WITH NANA BARBARA TROSTLER
AND GRANDPA MYRON LABAN

For my father, Arthur Trostler, who would have been an amazing grandfather.

Copyright 2009 by Elizabeth LaBan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2009927563

eISBN: 978-1-59474-473-0

Designed by Jenny Kraemer
Illustrations by Sean Sims, represented by New Division
Production management by John J. McGurk

Distributed in North America by Chronicle Books
680 Second Street
San Francisco, CA 94107

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
www.irreference.com
www.quirkbooks.com

Introduction
The Magic of Grandparenthood

I. Bringing Up Baby
A Grandparents Refresher Course

The Magic of Grandparenthood

I knew from the moment my mother first laid eyes on my inconsolable newborn daughter Alice that there was magic between them. The brand-new grandmother came to the hospital all dressed up, having carefully chosen the softest sweater in her closet. She took Alice into her arms and just stared at her for what must have been more than an hour. The funny thing is, Alice stared back. The whole time. For most of her first week of life, Alice cried and cried. But when my mother held her, this tiny newborn was more peaceful than at any other time. Frankly, I would have given anything to switch places with my mother. But that wasnt what my mother wanted this time around. She wanted to be the grandmother.

What I was observing was an incredible gift. In one moment, Alice had gained an experienced, gentle, and, most of all, patient caregiver, just when we needed her most. Its that gift, as well as those of each of my childrens grandparents, that inspired me, my mother, and my father-in-law to write this book.

As we gathered many of the activities and advice for this book, my mother and father-in-law spoke with grandparents throughout the country, some of whom live close to their grandchildren, others who live far away. They discussed what they wished they had known before they assumed their roles as grandparents, what their favorite memories are, and what they wished they had done differently. More than any single thing, every grandparent said they wished they had spent more time with their grandchildren. They had learned that doing things together is so much more important than giving gifts. They had learned that the shared time with their grandchildren was the true gift.

This book offers you endless ideas about how to spend that special time with your grandchildren and to create memories you will all hold on to, whether youre taking care of the newborns practical day-to-day needs or embarking on an outdoor adventure with a toddler who can walk and talk. Youll learn again how to bathe and swaddle a baby and what to avoid feeding a child younger than one year old. (Some of these practices may have changed since you raised your own kids.) Youll also discover new activities, like planting a goblin garden or making a family tree, and rediscover the joys of cooking up family recipes that have been passed down through the generations.

Nine years after her first meeting with Alice, my mother still cant get enough of her grandchildren. When I bring home my son Arthurs school folder, barely glancing at the pages inside because I have to make dinner or answer e-mails or steal a few minutes to write, my mother will slowly and carefully go through each page, reading and absorbing what he learned. If Alice has to practice the piano or her multiplication tables, my mother sees helping as an honor, never a chore. When I am rushed or angry or bored, my mother and my in-laws are not. There are no e-mails or dinners or stories to write that could possibly be more interesting than their grandchildren. (Truth be told, my father-in-law has been known to be distracted by a broken garage door opener or a weed problem in his garden now and then, but he would do anything for his five grandchildren.)

Being a grandparent is not always easy. You have to navigate the parents relationships to get to know their children. You might find that youve offended your son or daughter when you thought you were just acting in your grandchilds best interest. Other times, you have to figure out what your grandchildren care about, what they think about, what they want to know more about and spend their time doing. And these interests can change dramatically from visit to visit, and from child to child.

As my father-in-law says, he planned extensively to be a father, but becoming a grandfather just happened. He didnt have a chance to prepare. Heres your chance. This book is full of tips and useful tools to help you on your way. I hope it brings joy and extra magic to the time you spend with your grandchildren. Welcome to grandparenthood!

By Nana Barbara (aka Barbara Trostler)

Second only to the incredible happiness I experienced at the birth of my daughter came the exciting births of my two grandchildren, Alice and Arthur. Another world opened up to me. These were my daughters and her husbands babies, and I could love them and hug them and love them some more!

Certainly, there were also those moments when the memories about what it really takes to get a fussy newborn to sleep came rushing back. Anyone reading this book, Im sure, will recall walking back and forth, back and forth, with that tiny baby, trying everything in your repertoire to get her to sleep. And then, all of a sudden, theres the moment when that tiny body becomes heavy, and you know sleep has come. Its a delightful feeling.

As my grandchildren grew older, bedtimes remained a very special time whenever I visited. I loved reading an alphabet book to Alice, and I would watch her eyes grow heavy and close and open and smile at me and close again. I would sing songs to my grandchildren that my own parents had sung to me. (Im certainly not a singer, but my grandchildren have never seemed to care.)

Even when I have gone about the less-than-glamorous duties in my role as grandmother, there have always been times, especially when my grandchildren were still fairly small, when I knew they genuinely liked me. And not only that, they loved me! I would tell my friends how I kept saying that to myself, and think how absolutely wonderful this adventure is.

This book is intended to remind you to cherish your own precious times with your treasured grandchildren. In it youll find the many common threads and themes we encountered when we spoke to grandparents everywhere. The activities and ideas for sharing experiences with this newest generation will, ideally, inspire you to recall the ones you shared with your own grandparents, parents, and children.

Alice, Arthur, my daughter, and I recently made an apple pie together, and the memories of my helping my grandmother bake pies came flooding back to me. Ive been fortunate to come to know that theres no better way to span the generations than through the wonders of these passed-down traditions.

By Grandpa Myron (aka Myron LaBan)

Becoming a father is usually a rational, participatory act. Becoming a grandfather is, at best, an irrational one: Without anyone asking your permission or advice, you suddenly find yourself cohabiting with a grandmother. But like fatherhood itself, dealing with a first grandchild is a new adventure. Traditionally, new grandparents have relied on on-the-job training to get into the swing of their new role, but with this book, we, as seasoned grandparents and parents, hope to ease your transition. In the chapters that follow, we provide commonsense advice and ideas drawn from our combined years of experience, as well as that of grandparents we interviewed far and wide.