Barbara Goldberg - The Evil Stepmother Speaks: A Guide for Stepfamilies Who Want to Love and Laugh

This book shatters the image of the wicked stepmother. I didnt see her sweeping any hearths! The original story is the way it was.

Cinderella

This woman is awesome.

Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, Best Selling Author

Barb Goldberg holds up the new mirror a mirror without fear; one that is framed with insight; and one that sparkles with ideas that will break new ground for you and your family. After all, shes been there, done that.

Jill

The Evil Stepmother Speaks is a love letter to step parents everywhere.

Dr. Judith Briles, Award-winning author, Founder of AuthorU

Barb saved our family and my heart from breaking.

Olivia

the reason for LeAnn Rimes friendly tweet to Brandi Glanville seems clear she shared a step-parenting help site called The Evil Stepmother Speaks.

Mike Larkin, Writer for The Daily Mail

My friend @stepmomspeaks walks the talk! She lives stepfamily life with a smile and a great sense of humor:)

Heather Hetchler of Cafesmom

The Evil Stepmother Speaks will become one of my very important stepmom resources, a book that I go to over and over again for support and tips and grounding. SO many great teachers in this book!

Barb, if you havent found your life purpose, it is, among other things, to write this book. It will be a great resource to me and many, many other stepmoms for years and years to come.

Jen

I love the way you tell the stories, and the overall story of the book. I love the fairy tale style telling of the story of the stepmoms journey, injected with lots of humor. Because sometimes our stepmom lives do seem so absurd that it all must be a fairy tale because how could this actually be real life? And weve got to inject it with humor because if we dont how will we survive?

Ilene

The Evil Stepmother Speaks is the new fairy tale. You will learn practical ideas to help your family bond, while making your soul sing. Get ready to laugh along the way.

Theresa

*Stepmothers dont like their real names to be used. Some of their names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Evil Stepmother Speaks: The Guide for Stepfamilies Who Want to Love and Laugh by Barbara Goldberg Copyright

2013 by Barbara Goldberg. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in the critical articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for damages that may result from the use of information contained within.

Books may be purchased in quantity and/or special sales by contacting the publisher:

The 428 Companies 8314 East Feathersong Lane, Scottsdale, AZ 85255 www.TheEvilStepmotherSpeaks.com 602.538.1811

Cover and Interior Graphics: Tara Hetzer | www.PinkInkDesignShop.com

Interior Design: Nick Zelinger | www.NZGraphics.com

Editor: Lynn Hess | www.PremierProofing.com

Book Shepherd: Judith Briles | www.TheBookShepherd.com

Printer: Color House Graphics

Library of Congress Catalog Number: 2013933659

ISBN 978-0-9882415-0-3

eISBN: 978-0-9882415-1-0

Family & Relationships | Step-Parenting

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition Printed in the United States of America

For Bruce, Adrienne, Nathan, Betsy, Ean, and Phyllis

Thank you for allowing me into your kingdom.

It has been an honor.

To All the Evil Stepmothers

Its an honor to be part of your tribe.

To my family:

I love you dearly and hope you decide to maintain custody of me. If you dump me, please give your new stepmom a copy of this book so she will love you like I do.

Yes, I will sign it.

P ROLOGUE

One of my editors said to tell you that the book is much funnier than this prologue. (OK, I did it. Now, can I continue?)

You knew what you were getting into! You knew he had children!

For every stepparent who has ever heard those words: The Evil Stepmother is for you. The mere writing of those words just makes me scream!! To every person who has had these thoughts about a stepparent they know, I offer this response: You have no idea!

You have no idea that we married someone that we dearly love. You have no idea that we were excited about joining this new family. You dont know that we were enthusiastic about how we could help raise the children and build a beautiful, fun home. You have no idea about what happens to us along the way. Mostly, you dont know our biggest secret of all. We dearly love our families. Our partners. All of our children. What the hell, we even like, sometimes, love the ex.

They say that all humans yearn to be seen, heard, and feel as if they matter. Herein lies the problem. Gradually, stepparents feel invisible. We feel as if we are disappearing. Fading away. No one hears usno one wants to. Society does not see us. Our needs are ignored because there are just too many other people to consider first. Over time, the deep desire to be seen and heard overtakes us. We have bad thoughts. Very bad thoughts. The kind of thoughts that are just wrong. Does any of this sound familiar?

I just want out!

I thought I had thick skin. But this has taken thick skin to a whole new level.

I didnt expect to be first on the list. But I thought I would at least be on the list!

I am a horrible person. I think I may hate these kids.

The ex is crazy. I mean, she is really crazy.

Why doesnt he see or hear anything that goes on in this house?

What about me???

Get me the f--- out of here!

As these thoughts swirl in and out of our heads, we get grumpy. We get lonely. The cycle starts and the Evil Stepmother is born.

Stepfamilies are not for the faint of heart.

But it doesnt have to be that way, does it? I started thinking that, considering the prevalence of stepfamilies, little is truly said about the stepparent experience. I mean really said. After all, we are the American traditional family, with over 50 percent of American families either re-married or re-coupled. Thirteen hundred new stepfamilies form daily. If you look at American history, stepmothers have existed since the beginning of time and used to be respected. (How nice of that woman to take on the children of another!) Somewhere along the way, our role became soured.