Kathi Lipp - But Im Not a Wicked Stepmother!: Secrets of Successful Blended Families
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- Book:But Im Not a Wicked Stepmother!: Secrets of Successful Blended Families
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But Im Not a Wicked Stepmother!: Secrets of Successful Blended Families: summary, description and annotation
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Its no secret, being a stepmother can be a living nightmare. But it can also be an enriching and rewarding experienceone that God can use to strengthen you, helping you survive and even thrive in the toughest job you never asked for.
Written by two women who are stepmothers themselvesand know the difficulties of helping to raise someone elses childrenthis book is filled with down-to-earth insights and advice for stepmothers from stepmothers. It also offers expert guidance from pastors and counselors on such issues as roles, expectations, realistic goals, organization, finances, holidays, vacations, relationships with stepchildren, negotiation, forgiveness, healing the past, building a strong marriage with stepchildren on the scene, dealing with in-laws and ex-spouses, sexual tensions in stepfamilies, health, depression, stress, and much more.
While there is no magic formula to guarantee stepmother success, encouragement and practical wisdom are available in this much-needed resource.
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As the biological mom in a stepfamily, I can attest to the challenges of blending families. Stepmoms Kathi Lipp and Carol Boley write with honesty, grace, and humor, offering down-to-earth help for anyone in stepparenting roles. Its like having friends who have already scouted out the route to help you travel this often-difficult road. They totally get it.
L INDA C ARLBLOM
Author, Bible Blessings for Bedtime; Interactive Childrens Sermons: 52 Messages from the Psalms; Bailey and the Santa Fe Secret (Camp Club Girls Book 15); Baileys Peoria Problem (Camp Club Girls Book 6)
While Im not a stepmom, I was the mom in a step household. I can only say that I wish wed had this common sense and insightful advice when my husband and I were raising our family.
P EGGY L EVESQUE
Author, Ashes in the Wind
I had assumed that my husband and I, with our combined five children, would be happy and have a lot of fun, like the Brady bunch! Well, that didnt happen. I wanted my husbands attention, but with five littles to care for, it was very much not a honeymoon! All I can say is that only by the grace of God did we all make it and survive and now all love each other unconditionally. This book would have been a great how-to book for me; believe me I did search the Christian bookstores!
S YLVIA
Blended family for 37 years
Two mine, Three his, All ours
Kathi and Carol have great advice, great insight, and their ideas really work. For me Chapter 9, At All Costs, Protect Your Marriage, was so right on! The kids will grow up and move out, and whats left is you looking at the man you fell in love with however number of years ago, the man who was with you through all the struggles, all the tears, all the sacrifices, all the good, the bad, and the ugly moments. And what an awesome example for your kids to see that a healthy and loving marriage can exist.
C ARRIE
Blended Family for 16 years
Four mine, One his, All ours
But Im Not a Wicked Stepmother!
Copyright 2015 by Kathi Lipp and Carol Boley
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, 8605 Explorer Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.
TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission of Focus on the Family.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide (www.zondervan.com). Scripture quotations marked ( NASB ) are taken from the New American Standard Bible . Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked ( NKJV ) are taken from the New King James Version . Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
The use of material from or references to various websites does not imply endorsement of those sites in their entirety. Availability of websites and pages is subject to change without notice.
All stories in this book are true and are used by permission. In some cases, peoples names and certain details of their stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. However, the facts of what happened and the underlying principles have been conveyed as accurately as possible.
Editor: Brandy Bruce
Cover photograph of mudroom, copyright Ian Nolan / Getty Images. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of broom, copyright Sitade / Getty Images. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of ribbon, copyright mizar_21984 / DollarPhotoClub. All rights reserved.
Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available through the Library of Congress.
ISBN: 978-1-58997-801-0
Build: 2015-01-05 11:13:49
Dedicated to my sister-in-love Debbie Lipp, and my friend Michele Cushatt. Two of the bravest, smartest, and most loving stepmoms I know. Youve taught me well. And in loving memory of Mary Jane Lipp. Roger and I could not have asked for a more loving and accepting stepmom. Your legacy will be felt for generations to come.
Kathi
This book is dedicated to my familyJim, Abby, Allison, and Andrea Boley. You are each the answer to my prayers, and I love you with my whole heart.
Carol
Now were going to be a big, happy family.
He smiled as he said it, his face turned up toward mine. We stood just outside the broad double doors of the Castle Pines country club. Me, a fresh, young bride dressed in ivory lace. Him, a nine-year-old boy sporting grass-stained khakis, white button-down shirt, clip-on tie, and tennis shoes. My new stepson.
Hours before, Id stood inches from his dad, our hands and fingers interlaced, and exchanged promises of loving, honoring, and cherishing. Now, after a fairy-tale ceremony, a sit-down reception, and hours of dancing like Cinderella and the prince at her ball, we gathered our thingsand our collective three young boysto head home. It was time to start a new life together. A brand spankin new family of five.
Thats when my newly acquired nine-year-old made his happy-family pronouncement. And I very nearly cried.
Holy happily ever after. Thank You, Jesus.
If only his pronouncement had been prophetic. On the contrary, it took mere weeks for the mirage of happy family to be replaced by the reality of stepfamily life. Dreamy? Hardly. More nightmarish. Our new family scenario involved things like conflicting parenting styles, threatened ex-spouses, role confusion, power struggles, alternating homes and parenting schedules, and custody battles. Not to mention disappointment. Truckloads of disappointment. This wasnt at all the family Id dreamed of.
Perhaps my greatest disappointment came in the form of my two less-than-enthusiastic stepsons. Sure, they seemed happy enough through our wedding day. But once we moved my four-year-old and me into their territory, and they felt conflicting loyalties, everything changed. No longer was I the welcomed mother figure. Instead, I became the unwanted imposter. The reason for all stepsons woes. The root of all their unhappiness. The cause of all our familial struggles. THE STEPMOTHER . [Insert evil orchestra music here.]
After spending a lifetime dreaming of motherhood, I now found stepmotherhood to be something different altogether. And far beyond my skill set. I felt somewhat comfortable when it came to mothering my four-year-old. But as for these precious, two stepsons who seemed bent on making me earn my keep, I didnt have a clue. What was my role exactly? Why did I always feel unwanted in my own home? When would we start to bond like a real family? And would my stepsons ever learn to love me?
Tough questions, every one. Without answers, I stumbled my way through, learning by trial and error. But mostly error.
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