Kathi Lipp - Hot Mama: 12 Secrets to a Sizzling Hot Marriage

Weve heard whispers of it at the gym.

Caught glimpses of it in line at carpool.

Peered around the aisles at the grocery store to find a poor, haggard soul who just wants to escape with her gallon of milk without being seen in the throes of it.

Its awkward. Its embarrassing. Its the place that no mama wants to be but most are at one point or another.

You know what were talking about: the Mama Walk of Shame. Just think back to the last time you walked itthe ratty gray sweats, the mismatched socks, the hair thats clipped up to the side in a Hello Kitty barrette, and of course, the inevitable run-in with the principal as you do your best to quickly scrub gummy oatmeal off your too-loose Newsboys T-shirt.

Were here to give you a little encouragement, a glimmer of hope, a bit of refreshing change in a world that has gotten a bit too judgmental of our yoga pants. So were just going to come right out and say it: the Mama Walk of Shame isnt shameful.

Instead, its a beautiful thing.

From now on, we want you to wear your gummy oatmeal as a badge of honor that proudly says, I made my kids oatmeal this morning! With raisins and brown sugar, thank you very much. Not to mention the fact that they are at school wearing (mostly) clean clothes and with (most of) their homework done.

In fact, we hot mamas need to unite.

Its okay that our days are jam-packed and sometimes we really dont have time for things like showers and clean leggings. And so were here to tell you to walk that walk proudly. Walk it from the school drop-off to the grocery store and home again with your chin up and a smile on your face. We wont judge you. Wear those old purple Hanes from 1992 with pride, Mama. You deserve a break.

Theres just one thing.

One teeny-tiny thing.

We want you to change before you see your husband.

Screeeeeeech ! That kind of put a halt to your yoga-pants pride rally, didnt it? And we know what youre thinking: What? By that time, its almost time for bed and I can just keep my yogas on for the next day. And anyway, my man doesn t care how I look; he married me for my heart. And Im beautiful on the inside. (Were not mind readers; weve just thought the same thing many times.) And we get it. Youre tired and those sweats are oh-so-comfortable.

But we hold to our statement: you have to change your clothes. Take a shower. Put on something nice before you see your husband. In fact, you might want to do it earlier rather than later. (Yes, you may have to change out of the shirt that has been splattered with organic peanut butter. Its okay. You have a washing machine.) The truth is, its not only how you look, its how you feel. And the earlier you dress for the day, the better youll feelall day long. Promise.

My (Kathis) friends mom, Tori, is the most beautiful woman Ive ever met. Shes one of those effortlessly classy women who looked good all the timeeven when we were just hanging out at her house. My friend Kris told me her secret: My mom always says to get dressed for your day. If you are going to be spending most of your day with the kids, dont wake up and just roll out of bed. Okay, maybe take the kids to school in your sweats, but then go home and get dressed for your day.

Were all about the yogas, the T-shirts, the TOMS ballet flats with holes in the sides for daytime wearafter all, you dont really want to impress anyone besides your man anyway. And if youre going to be cleaning sand out from the crevices of your car seats, you cant be doing it in heels.

But your man?

Once upon a time, he was the one you couldnt wait to see every day. The one you spent hours getting ready for before a date. And then you had the wonderful privilege of making a vow to love and honor him for the rest of your life.

And while we know he loves you for all of the right reasons, we also know that you can show him respect and honor by being the best version of yourself when hes around. (And for the record, the best version of yourself never involves gummy oatmeal or Hello Kitty barrettes.)

Were ready to take a stand for honor and love in our marriages, to show our husbands that we want them and were willing to take a shower to prove it. To show them that they are the only people in our lives we want to impress. And we want to do it with flair.

Our goal as we write our new book, Hot Mama (Revell, 2015), is to help Christian women dispel the common misconceptions around sex and marriage so that they can have healthy, fulfilling sex lives that are not only fun but are also hot. And as we get ready to send our new book into the world, were writing a series of Hot Mama Guides like this oneshort, compact messages where well challenge you to embrace your red hot self and give a glimpse of what we believe your sex life can be. And of what God desires for your marriage.