Lipp Kathi - Happy Habits for Every Couple: 21 Days to a Better Relationship

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Verses marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Verses marked MSG are from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Verses marked NASB are from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Cover by Franke Design and Illustration, Excelsior, Minnesota

Cover photos themacx, -M-I-S-H-A-/ iStock

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., www.wordserveliterary.com.

HAPPY HABITS FOR EVERY COUPLE

Copyright 2009 Kathi Lipp

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lipp, Kathi, 1967-

[Marriage project]

Happy habits for every couple / Kathi Lipp and Roger Lipp.

pages cm

Rev. ed. of: The marriage project. c2009.

ISBN 978-0-7369-5573-7 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5574-4 (eBook)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianityTextbooks. I. Title.

BV835.L53 2014

248.844dc23

2014022632

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited.

This book is lovingly dedicated to my parents, Bill and Connie Richerson.

Thanks for the care, love, and support shown to me and to everyone that God has brought into my life. Every child should be blessed to have parents that encourage with such reckless abandon.

I pray that through your legacy of love, I will have the same fearlessness and boldness when it comes to encouraging my own kids to pursue their dreams.

Contents

Roger Lipp

To the Men

Come on guys, admit it. If youre like me, youve started a lot of projects before. Some of them lie in various stages of done or done-enough.

For me, reading an entire book is a monumental challenge. I recently went through my bookshelves and found all kinds of great books that Ive purchased. Man, do I need to read that one. Wouldnt it be great if I mastered that bit of knowledge. My books call out to me.

But as I was pulling the books down in one last admission that I probably wont read them, I noticed a strange pattern. Most of my books have something odd about them: they all have a bookmark in them somewhere between chapters 2 and 3. Alas, I started the challenge, but then faded out. Each book I pick up, I start off with great intentions of completing the book and learning or putting into practice the great advice or ideas found within its pages. But something happens between chapter 1 and chapter 3. Some other project comes along, some other item of great importance develops (hey, Ive been meaning to fix the garage door), and my best intentions get set aside leaving a memorial marker.

So let me make a few bold promises. First, this is an easy read, even for those of us who may not be into reading that much. Second, youll discover that Happy Habits for Every Couple is a lot of fun. Who knows, you might find some fun in some unexpected ways. Finally, this book is worth seeing it through. We all admit that our relationship with our wife is the most important relationship we have, but its all too easy to let it ride (a strategy that is suspect in Vegas and downright devastating in relationships). See this through. You will be amazed at the change in yourself and your spouse!

To the Women

Wives, you may have noticed, but there are a lot of different kinds of men. Some are eager to work on relationships. Others would be happy to swim alligator-infested waters for you, but dont ask them how they feel about their relationship with you. But whatever kind of guy youre hooked up with, grace is needed as you approach Happy Habits for Every Couple.

Since we encourage everyone to do this with at least one other couple, there might be a temptation to do some unhealthy comparisons. (Wow, your husband filled your room with flowers? Mine only bought me a card!) Every guy is different. Every relationship is in a different place. Every circumstance is different. Enjoy the process and dont compare us (you may have noticed that we have pretty fragile egos). Give us credit for just being willing to do this very outside-our-comfort-zone kind of project.

We need all the positive reinforcement we can get.

A Word from Kathi on the Writing of This Book

You know how in your marriage some tasks naturally fall to you and some naturally fall to your spouse? Roger makes the bed and I make sure that everyone has at least one pair of presentable underwear in their drawers. Roger pays the bills and I make sure that we all are fed each night.

But not all of our roles fall along traditional gender lines. Somehow, making sure the garbage gets to the curb has fallen to me. But I cant really complain because on our morning and evening walks, Roger is the designated pooper scooper. (Jake, the puggle, thanks you. And so do our neighbors.)

So when it came to this book, we both went with our strengths. Im the writer of the family, and trying to go back and forth in two voices seemed confusing, so I put the words to the page.

But lets be clearevery project, every idea has been thought up, executed, and test-driven by both Roger and me and about 200 friends at Church on the Hill in San Jose, California. Roger is the more creative of us two, and the more romantic most of the time, so his fingerprints are all over these pages.

We wanted a practical guide that brought you both out of your comfortable marriage box just a little bit. Between the two of us, and all the contributing husbands and wives, I think we have just the thing for you here.

Heres to enjoying your marriage a little more today than yesterday.

W hen I first heard about Happy Habits for Every Couple I was sitting in a seminar for Christian communicators. The person presenting asked the audience to shout out topics that churches should address in their sermons, and Kathi Lipp stood up one row in front of me and shared her heart for Happy Habits for Every Couple . I wanted to stand up and say, Youre from the church I pastor. Why havent I heard about this yet? At the end of the seminar I nearly tackled Kathi in the lobby to talk details about piloting her idea in our church. For me, Happy Habits for Every Couple was much more than a book. I sensed this would be a movement of God.

As the lead pastor of Church on the Hill, I invited our entire church to put their marriages on project status for 21 days (plus some prep time for couples). During those four weeks the Sunday messages were focused on understanding mens and womens unique qualities (and quirkiness) in order for us to become people who were building health into our marriages. We provided small groups for couples to share their daily victories and woes.