Patricia H. Rushford - What Kids Need Most in a Mom

As you anticipated motherhood, did you have great expectations? (And were not talking about big babies!) Perhaps the reality has fallen far short of your dreams. If so, take heart. Patricia H. Rushford offers encouragement and help for being the loving mom your kids need most.

Youll find no magic formulas for becoming Super Mom or the perfect mother. Instead, this seasoned mother of two and grandmother of seven helps you to evaluate whats really important in life. Then she offers creative ideas for sharing your discoveries with your children. Youll learn to focus on such essentials as:

• trusting your lifeand your kidsto Gods care
• being a servant mom without being subservient
• instilling forgiveness in your children
• getting out of the guilt factory

Patricia Rushford shows how to delight in the God-given privileges and responsibilities of motherhood. Better still, she gives you humor and hope for those times when theres little to rejoice over. New moms grandmoms all moms are sure to appreciate knowing What Kids Need Most in a Mom .

1986, 1999 by Patricia H. Rushford

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

New Spire edition published 2008

Ebook edition created 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-44123-331-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations identified RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952, [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified TEV are from Todays English Version. Copyright American Bible Society 1966, 1971, 1976, 1992. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations identified TLB are from The Living Bible 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

Material from Have You Hugged Your Teenager Today? by Patricia H. Rushford, copyright 1983 by Patricia H. Rushford. Published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

To David and Caryl
and all of my wonderful grandchildren

A special thanks to all the moms and kids who shared their stories and ideas with me.

When I wrote What Kids Need Most in a Mom in 1986, the managing editor of Revell said, This book is destined to become a classic. I hoped she was right, and as it turned out she was. I loved writing this bestselling book for and about moms. It was and is the book of my heart. As a mother of teenagers, I wanted to share my successes, give encouragement, and reduce the guilt and fear so many mothers have. I also felt it important to share my experiences, difficulties, and failures with others.

Im thrilled that the book has been updated and released a number of times over the years. The amazing thing is that it is as needed today as it was when I first wrote it. Children continue to present challenges and parents continue to face them. I love having written What Kids Need Most in a Mom because it has been a help to so many mothers who are experiencing frustration and guilt, and who at times are desperate for someone to understand and offer practical help.

One such mother, whom Id never met, called me one evening at the end of her rope. Im sorry to bother you, but Im desperate and dont see how I can go on anymore. I didnt know who else to call. You see, Ive been reading your book and I just knew youd understand.

She went on to tell me the problems she was encountering in trying to rear four children plus go to school and work. I listened with an empathetic ear and was able to give her reassurance and support. Before she hung up, she thanked me. Had I changed anything for her? Her problems remained much as they had been when shed first called, but she could now go back to them with renewed strength, knowing she was not alone.

Another mom, whom I met while speaking at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) gathering, told me shed read my book during one of the lowest moments of her life. I was sick and tired of parenting books that made me feel guilty, she said. A friend of mine gave me your book and told me to give it a try. I said I would, but warned her that if it didnt help I was throwing it in the ocean. She grinned. It was great and you didnt make me feel guilty. I recommend it to moms all the time.

I certainly was not the perfect mom, and there are a number of things I would do differently if given the chance. Some years ago I confessed some of my shortcomings to my daughter Caryl. She chuckled and said, You couldnt have been all that bad of a mom. Look how great I turned out.

I was and am a good momfor the most part. This I learned while getting my masters degree in counseling and while seeing my children interact with other children. Over the years, Ive experienced the joys and heartaches of seeing my children and grandchildren grow into mature adultswondering at times if they ever would.

Ive been a mom for 44 years now. My children, David and Caryl, whom youll get to know quite well in this book, are grown with children of their own. This year, my darling daughter became a grandmother. Which, of course, makes me a great-grandmother. Madelyn Marie is the light of our lives. Im so happy that at 63, I am young enough to thoroughly enjoy her. My husband Ron and I have seven grandchildren, all of whom we adore. Let me tell you, of all the things I have done well in my life, having grandchildren tops the list. They are wonderful. Being grandparents is Gods way of giving us another chance to enjoy and appreciate childrenwhile their parents do the hard work of rearing them.

As I write this I am in Grand Forks, North Dakota, staying with my daughter and her family. (By the way, this is one thing I would do differently: I would brainwash my children to live closer to me and not halfway across the country.) In a few days, my oldest granddaughter will be getting married and I am so excited that I can be here. Yes, she is Madelyns mother and Im thrilled to be able to pass along occasional words of wisdom. Sometimes she even listens. Id like to protect her from the struggles parents go through.

What Kids Need Most in a Mom is a book that not only offers practical help and advice, it also offers hope and encouragement. In the end, you will not be perfect. Despite what Mothers Day cards tell us, mothers seldom are. However, I believe you will come out stronger and more self assured, and determined to be the best mom you can be.

Harriet Beecher Stowe said, I long to put the experience of fifty years at once into your young lives, to give you at once the key of that treasure chamber, every gem of which has cost me tears and struggles and prayers, but you must work for these inward treasures yourselves.