Gilbert Bill - How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere: the secrets of good communication

Table of Contents

To the honored memory of Bob Woolf, my agent and my friend.

L. K.

"As reflected in this interesting book, no one communicates more successfully than Larry King. His cardinal rulesalways be prepared, listen to the other guy, and never lose your sense of humorare important lessons for everyone."

Henry Kissinger

"How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere is a wonderful book with very accurate and helpful information."

Tommy Lasorda

"I got a big kick out of Larry Kings new book, and he didnt pay me to say this. Come to think of it, he didnt pay me for doing his shows, either. But I still like the book."

George Burns

"How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere is full of some of the smartest, most practical advice Ive come across. Communication is a necessary skill: Larry King is a master of communication, and now hes shared what he knows. If only hed written the book sooner, I might have had a more interesting career."

Dan Rather

The Rest of Our Team

No book ever gets published by the authors alone. We did the interviewing and the writing, but others performed equally essential roles. For that we extend our gratitude, especially to:

Peter Ginna, our editor at Crown Publishers in New York.

Judy Thomas, Larrys personal assistant and his associate producer on CNNs Larry King Live.

Maggie Simpson, public relations director for Larry King Live.

Pat Piper, producer of The Larry King Show on the Mutual Broadcasting System for so many years.

Stacey Woolf, Larrys agent, who made this book possible in the first place.

Russell Galen, Bills agent for many years and many books.

Introduction: Weve All Gotta Talk

Would you rather jump out of an airplane without a parachute or sit next to someone youve never met before at a dinner party?

If your answer is 1, dont feel bad. Youve got a lot of company. Even though talking is something we do every day, there are lots of situations where it can be difficult and situations where we could do it better. The road to success, whether its social or professional, is paved with talk. If youre not confident as a talker, the road can be bumpy.

Thats why Ive written this bookto make it smoother. Ive been talking for a living for thirty-seven years, and on my radio and TV shows Ive had conversations with people from Mikhail Gorbachev to Michael Jordan. I also regularly give speeches to groups that range from sheriffs to storm-door salesmen. In the following pages Ill tell you what I have learned about how to talk, whether youre speaking to one person or a hundred.

To me, talk is one of the great pleasures of life, something Ive always loved to do. One of my first memories of growing up in Brooklyn is standing on the corner of Eighty-sixth Street and Bay Parkway and announcing the makes of cars driving by. I was seven years old. My pals called me "the Mouthpiece." Ive been talking ever since.

My best friend from those years, Herb Cohen (who is still my best friend), tells people about how I used to root for the Dodgers at Ebbets Field. Id sit in the bleachers by myself, roll up my scorecard, and "broadcast" the game. Then Id come home and tell my pals everything and I do mean everythingabout the game. Herb still tells people, "If Larry went to a game at Ebbets Field and the game lasted two hours and ten minutes, so did Larrys description of it." It figures that Herbie and I met each other for the first time in the principals office when we were ten. I walked in and there he was. Today we cant really remember why we were sent therebut talking in class would be a good bet for both of us.

But as much as I enjoy talking, I know why people can be uncomfortable with it. Theres the fear of saying the wrong thing, or saying the right thing in the wrong way. As one writer put it, "It is better to remain silent and be presumed a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." When youre talking to a stranger, or to a lot of other people at once, the fear is magnified.

I hope this book will help take away that fear. One thing Ive learned is that theres nobody you cant talk to, if you have the right attitude. After reading this book, you should be able to approach any conversation with confidence, and youll know how to get your message across effectively in a professional setting. Youll be talking better and enjoying it more.

The chapters here cover the waterfront, with tips and real-life examples that cover talking in a variety of situations, from your cousins wedding to a black-tie dinner party to a speech to the PTA. Ill tell you what you can learn from the guests I have talked to on the air and how you can use my own lessonsyoull see that some of them came the hard wayto help you.

Talk is the most essential form of human communication, the one that distinguishes us as a species. In fact, its been estimated the average person speaks eighteen thousand words a day, and I dont doubt that figure at all. (Its probably more in my case.) So why not develop our skills to become the best talkers we can be? Lets start right now. Just turn the page.

Hey, Herbie, listen up!

Larry King

Talk 101

THE BASICS OF SUCCESSFUL CONVERSATION

Honesty

The right attitude

Interest in the other person

Openness about yourself

Talking is like playing golf, driving a car, or owning a storethe more you do it, the better you get at it, and the more fun you have doing it. But you have to understand the fundamentals first.

Ive been fortunate to have achieved a certain level of success in talking. Maybe enough so that as you are reading this book, youre thinking to yourself, Oh, surehe can say talking is fun. Hes good at it.

Its true that talking has come naturally to me, but even those who have a natural ability for something have to work to develop it. Thats what turns a talent into a skill. Ted Williams, the greatest baseball hitter I ever saw and a man blessed with more natural ability than anyone in my lifetime, took batting practice like everyone else. Luciano Pavarotti was born with a wonderful voice, but he still took singing lessons.

I have a natural ability, and inclination, to talk. But Ive had plenty of moments when talk didnt come easy.

MY INAUSPICIOUS DEBUT

If you could have been a fly on the wall in a Miami Beach radio studio thirty-seven years ago and witnessed my first morning in broadcasting, you would have bet the ranch that I was the last guy who could even survive, much less succeed, as a professional talker.

It happened at station WAHR, a small station across the street from the police station, on First Street, just off Washington, on the morning of May 1, 1957. I had been there three weeks, hanging around, hoping to break into my dream world of radio. The stations general manager, Marshall Simmonds, told me he liked my voice (another thing I cant take any credit for), but he didnt have any openings. That didnt discourage me. I was willing to take my chances, and I told him so. He said fineif I hung around, Id get the job the next time he had an opening.

I had just set out from Brooklyn, knowing I could live with my uncle Jack and his wife in a small apartment within walking distance of the station while waiting for my big break. I didnt have any money, just my uncles roof over my head for shelter. I went to the station every day, watching the disc jockeys on the air, the newscasters reporting the news, and the sportscaster giving the sports results.