Hudson - I got this: how I changed my ways and lost what weighed me down

How I Changed My Ways and
Lost What Weighed Me Down

DUTTON

DUTTON

Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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Published by Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First printing, January 2012

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Copyright 2012 by JHud Productions, Inc.

Weight Watchers recipes copyright Weight Watchers International, Inc. Printed with permission.

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REGISTERED TRADEMARKMARCA REGISTRADA

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Hudson, Jennifer, 1981

I got this : how I changed my ways and lost what weighed me down / Jennifer Hudson.

p.cm.

EISBN: 9781101565780

1. Hudson, Jennifer, 19812. SingersUnited StatesBiography.3. Motion picture actors and actressesUnited StatesBiography.4. Overweight personsUnited StatesBiography.

I. Title.

ML420.H835A3 2012

782.42164092dc23

[B]

2011043578

Printed in the United States of America

Set in Walbaum MT Std

Designed by Alissa Amell

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

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Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity.
In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers;
however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the authors alone.

To my cousin Angela Whitewho is the ultimate health fanatic, my workout buddy, and a huge part of my inspiration.

J ennifer! Over here!

Jennifer, look this way.

Jennifer, Jennifer.

Over here!

No, over here!

Jennifer, turn to the right!

I always dreamed of someday walking the red carpet in Hollywood. Lets be real. Its fun. Everyone there is shouting out your name just to get a glimpse of what youre wearing. The press asks you to pose, wave, and smile as they snap photo after photo, with flashes popping so bright you can hardly see. Its a moment in time a girl feels truly beautiful. And on this particular night, I thought I was looking fierce.

It was one of my first red-carpet events. I was a contestant on American Idol, and was living my dream of singing for millions of people on the highest-rated show on television. I was a long way from singing in church and talent shows on the South Side of Chicago. I was excited, taking in the red-carpet finery for the first time. I felt on top of the world.

Jennifer, are you insecure about being a big girl in Hollywood?

That is, until that question.

Oh, hell no. She didnt just ask me that.

But she did.

It took me a minute to figure out who the reporter was actually talking to.

Who, me? I thought. Insecure?

Surely, she wasnt addressing me that way. I had the height of a supermodel, breasts that were naturally big and real, and a God-given shape. Why would I feel insecure about that? I looked around hoping to spot another Jenniferan insecure big girl, but there wasnt anyone else there.

Nope.

Just me.

Like Randy Jackson said to me after my American Idol audition: Welcome to Hollywood, girl!

I was born on September 12, 1981, in the Englewood area of Chicago. I am the third child of my parents, Darnell Hudson Donnerson and Samuel Simpson. My mama raised me, my sister Julia, and my brother Jason on her own as a single parent. We were a close family, surrounded by lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and our grandparents.

I come from the South Side of Chicago, where a lot of the girls have curves. Most of the men there dont want their ladies too skinny. Oh, no. They want a little meat on the bones, and a little something to hold on to. Most of the girls in my neighborhood were built just like meand thats what we wanted. Now, I dont know about you, but Id much rather have my share of nice curves than no shape at all. Thats not to say that I didnt know I was bigger than some girlsI just never really felt all that insecure about it.

My sister, Julia, has been a big girl for her entire life. My brother, Jason, was built exactly the same.

As for me?

Comparatively speaking, I was the skinny one in my family! In fact, I was so thin as a little girl that you could see my ribs beneath my shirts. My mama took me, not Julia and Jasonthe heavy kids in our familyto the doctor. She thought something had to be wrong.

My child must be very sick! I can see her ribs! Mama spoke desperately to the doctor as if I was dying. I wasnt sick and I surely wasnt dyingI was just thin.

In my family, if you were too skinny, something had to be wrong. My family likes to see some shape, too, and if you dont have that, theyll feed you until you do. And trust mewhen it comes to food, the Hudsons dont play around.

Like a lot of families in my neighborhood, food was a central focus for all types of gatherings, from family reunions to Sunday-night dinners. There were, of course, the exceptions, and I grew up knowing kids from school who were rarely served home-cooked mealsthey ate TV dinners and frozen vegetablesbut that wasnt our family. My mama would never allow that kind of food in our house. She loved to cook. I never knew times were tough or that money was short in our home because Mama always had a hot meal on the table. And if she cooked it, we ate it. My grandma and mama were the best cooks, and later, Jason became a good cook, too. Not meI didnt start cooking much until I got older and had a family of my own.

It gave my mama a lot of joy to make meals for her kids. She especially loved making hot breakfasts so we could start our days off right and nourished. Before school, we filled our plates with bacon, ham or sausage, pancakes, waffles, eggs, and biscuits. I said nourishednot healthy! But oh, that food was so good.

When it came time for dinner, meals were always prepared fresh and from scratch, too. We were a family of tradition and creatures of habit, so Wednesday was spaghetti night, Friday was always our fried fish night, and Sunday was strictly about praising God, spending time with family, and eating really good food. Wed all go to church in the morning and then stop someplace after service for a bite to eat for lunch. Sundays were the only day of the week that we ate out. It was a special treat I looked forward to every week. My grandma and mama loved to stop at Kentucky Fried Chicken, but we kids always wanted to eat at McDonalds. I usually ordered a cheeseburger with