Lowndes - How to make anyone like you!

Leil Lowndes a shyness survivor is an internationally acclaimed communications expert who coaches top executives of Fortune 500 companies as well as frontline employees to become more effective communicators. She has spoken in practically every major U.S. city and conducts communications seminars for the U.S. Peace Corps, foreign governments and major corporations. In addition to engrossing audiences on hundreds of TV and radio shows, her work has been acclaimed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune and Time magazine. Her articles have appeared in professional journals and popular publications such as New Woman, Psychology Today, Penthouse and Cosmopolitan. Based in New York City, she is the author of four books including the top-selling How to Talk to Anyone and How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You.

If you come across any little tricks of Big Winners in your life, share them with Leil so she can share them with others, credited in her next book, of course, to you. Leils mailing address is Applause, Inc., 127 Grand Street, New York, NY 10013.

Or e-mail her at leil@lowndes.com

Leils website address is http://www.lowndes.com

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How to Feel Confident

How to Talk to Anyone

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

These are examples of the dos and donts in the Dis-Guys and De-Gurrl My Dialogue clauses. is the symbol for how a woman can best communicate to a man, marks the most effective man mode.

1. Say what you want: Id like to go to lunch at the new restaurant.

State an observation first which leads to what you want: Ive heard the food at the new restaurant is good. Or ask a question which leads to it: What do you think about trying the new restaurant today?

2. Say what you mean: John, I want this report on my desk by this afternoon.

Soften it: Jane, Id prefer it if you could get the report to me by this afternoon. Is that possible?

3. When interrupting: John, I see you are busy. However, this has to be read and signed before noon.

When interrupting: Jane, I apologize for interrupting you when youre so busy, but this has to be read and signed by this afternoon.

4. Speak more facts than feeling: John, you got the promotion? You deserved it. You were definitely the best candidate.

Add feeling words to the dialogue: Jane, you got the raise? Im so happy for you. We all felt you were definitely the best candidate.

5. Drop tag lines: John, I think its time we wrapped this meeting up.

Add tag lines: Jane, I think its time we wrapped this meeting up, dont you?

6. Show appreciation and trust: John, I appreciate how you were able to win over that tough client this morning. But I knew you could do it all along.

Show caring and respect: Jane, I really respect the way you handled that tough client this morning. If there is anything I can do to make dealing with him any easier for you, please let me know. Im here for you.

7. Apologizing: Unless you really mean you are sorry, say nothing. This is difficult for women because we are so accustomed to filling holes in the conversation.

Apologizing: This is easy for women, tough for men. Just two words Im sorry.

Ever noticed how the real witch in the carpool always has the guy who knows how to cook a souffl, who sends flowers, who is frequently heard to say, Youre so right, darling? Whats wrong with this picture? Shes not even nice. Exactly. Shes smart.

Smart women get the nice guys because they dont lower their standards for men or anyone else for that matter. Smart women take the attitude that if this is the best you can do, theyll just go to the dance without an escort, the movie without a date, and the rest of their lives without the true companion constantly celebrated on FM radio. A smart woman has figured out that her biological clock is not really ticking that loud, that her grandmother was still fertile well into her fifties, and, anyway, if she had wanted a rug rat, she would have had one by now.

Smart women have also worked out that all the media hype about not finding a husband when youre growing older is promulgated by male-owned media machines to make women desperate and compliant. To make sure that men will always have their pick of scared women to choose from and that they wont have to work any harder at being decent.

Smart women have learned that the important question is not Will I ever get married? but Do I want to get married? (Or Why on earth would I want to get married?)

Smart women know that you can ALWAYS settle for less than what you really want. You can always get serious with a guy youre not really in love with or one who doesnt treat you exactly right. So theres no point in making any compromises today or tomorrow either for that matter. Theres always going to be time to do the wrong thing. Smart women arent lonely enough. Theyve noticed you get a lot done when youre on your own. Smart women have often drawn the conclusion that sugar daddies arent worth it. If you allow someone to buy you, hes going to think he owns you. (Imagine that.)

Smart women know its a heck of a lot easier to figure out what youre good at and make your own money than it is to entertain some tyrant. This frees you up to see a nice guy, whether he has money or not. Smart women have also freed themselves from the psychological need to be dominated by their men. Smart women like to feel powerful themselves, and appreciate men who can handle that. Smart women have adopted a firm line with men that can best be summarized as treat me right or take a picture of me.