How to Instantly Connect
with Anyone
LEIL LOWNDES
Copyright 2009 by Leil Lowndes. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a data base or retrieval system, with out the prior written permission of the publisher.
ISBN: 978-0-07-154586-0
MHID: 0-07-154586-7
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Contents
Introduction
What Determines Social and Professional Success?
For all the hair styling, shoe shining, suit buying, and personality projecting we do, we never really know why some people succeed in life and others dont. Some highly successful and beloved people are shy. Others are boisterous. Some big winners in life are sophisticated. Others are simple. Many introverts are esteemed, while some extroverts are shunned. And, unless you are auditioning to host the Academy Awards, your personality and looks are not the keys to becoming beloved and successful in life. So what is the key? Will this book help you find out?
Let me tell you what this book will doand what it will not doand then you decide. I do not guarantee you will soon be chatting comfortably with a commodities broker about crude oil futures. Nor do I assure deep discourse with a doctor of philosophy on his dissertation. What I do pledge, however, is that you will be able to meet people confidently, converse comfortably, and quickly connect with everyone you encounter.
You have probably already discovered the invisible personal and professional glass ceiling constructed solidly over your head, my head, and everybody elses head. This book will help you craft a weapon to smash this invidious enemy by mastering communication subtleties you may have never even known existed. And, of course, it will also tell you how to avoid saying and doing those dumb little things that make people disconnect from youthereby losing their potential business, friendship, or love.
You will also learn how to give them an extraordinary gift, the gift of self-esteem. This is something that, sadly, people seldom consider when dealing with others.
How do you do this?
Lets Go to the Laboratory to Find Out
You and a professor of psychiatry walk into a lab and see two naked men sitting in straight-back chairs, wearing nothing but embarrassed smiles on their faces. The professor mercifully throws each a blanket while explaining your assignment for the day.
These two gentlemen, he informs you, both work in a multinational corporation. One is the CEO. He has a loving family, faithful employees, and adoring friends. He has enough money to enjoy life, care for everyone he loves, and even donate generously to charity.
The other, he continues, cleans floors at the company. He, too, is a good and honest man. However, this fellow has a string of failed relationships and few friends, and he has trouble making ends meet.
You, my dear student, are to determine which is which.
You look at the two men quizzically. There doesnt seem to be much difference between them. They look to be about the same age, of comparable weight, similar complexions, and, if it can be determined by looks, equal intelligence. The professor walks toward the men and lifts the bottoms of the blankets, revealing four bare feet. Is this a hint? he asks you.
Uh, no, you respond, bewildered by his insinuation that it might be.
He then pulls the blanket up higher to reveal their knees and thighs. Walking back to you, he asks, Is this a hint?
Now you are more befuddled. You shake your head no. As the professor returns to the blankets, you close your eyes and fear the worst. Then, you haltingly open them. You and the gentlemen under the blankets breathe a sigh of relief. The professor has merely revealed their heads and upper torsos.
He strokes his goatee, looks at you piercingly, asking the same question with his eyes. You look at one man, then the other, then back at the first. Neither would make the cut for a Cosmo centerfold, but you would classify bot has handsome.
Im sorry, I cant tell who has which job, you respond.
The professor is not surprised. He continues, What if I were to tell you that both men were born into families of the same socioeconomic status, grew up in the same neighborhood, played together as children, went to the same schools, and tested similarly on an IQ test?
Now you are completely flummoxed.
If Its Not Looks, Intelligence, Education, Money, or Upbringing, What Is It?
Have you ever been similarly confused? You see two people who, from all outward appearances, are similar. Yet one is successful, the other a failure. One lives above that glass ceiling where only winners dwell. The other looks up longingly, asking himself, Why are they up there, and Im still struggling down here?