How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks...
How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks...
How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks...
PART EIGHT
How to Work a Party Like a Politician Works a Room
The Politicians Six-Point Party Checklist
When invited to a party, most of us waft into a fluffy thought prcess. Our random reverie goes something like this: Hmm, this could be fun.... Wonder if theyre going to serve food.... Hope its good.... Might be some interesting people there.... Wo der if my friend so n so is coming.... Golly, what should I wear?
Thats not the way a politician thinks about a party, however. While politicians, heavy-duty networkers, serious socializers, and big winners in the business world are staring at the invitation, they instinctively surf to a different channel. Before they RSVP with yes or no, their brains craft journalistic campaign questions. Its the Six-Point Party Checklist. Who? When? What? Why? Where? And How?
Lets take them one by one.
Who Is Going to Be at the Party?
More specifically, who will be there that I should meet? Serious networkers calculate Who must I meet for business? Who should I meet for political or social reasons? And, if single and searcing, Who do I want to meet for possible love?
If they dont know who is going to be in attendance, they ask. Politicians unabashedly telephone the host or hostess of the party and ask, Whos coming? As the party giver chats casually about the guest list, politicians scribble the names of the people who interest them, then resolve to meet each.
When Should I Arrive?
Politicians do not leave arrival time to whenever they finish geting dressed. They dont ask themselves, Hmm, should I be fasionably late? They carefully calculate their estimated time of arrival and estimated time of departure.
If the party is bulging with contacts, biggies get there early to start hitting their marks as each arrives. VIPs frequently come early to get their business done before party regulars who hate to be the first one there start arriving. They are never embarrassed to arrive early. After all, the only people who see them are other early arrivals who are often heavy hitters like themselves.
Nor will you find politicians prowling around, the last to slink out the door. Once theyve accomplished what they set out to do, theyre on their way to the next opportunity. If their agenda is more social, they try to leave their departure time open and their aprs-party schedule free. That way, if they make an important new contact, they can stay around and talk with him. Or drive her home. Or go somewhere else for coffee.
How to Work a Party Like a Politician Works a Room267
What Should I Take with Me?
A politicians checklist is not the usual, Lets see, my comb, cologne, and breath mints. They pack more functional networing tools in their pockets or purses.
If corporate cats will be prowling the party, they pack a pocetful of business cards. If its a gala where people are gadding about on the social ladder and they want to exude old-world elegance, they grab a handful of social cards containing only their name and possibly an address and phone number. (Some feel giving out a business card in a purely social setting can be gauche.) The most vital tool in their party pack is a small pad and pen to keep track of important contacts.
Why Is the Party Being Given?
The politicians perpetual philosophy of penetrate the ostensible enters here. (Thats just a fancy way of saying look under the rug.) They ask themselves, What is the ostensible reason for the party? A big industrialist is giving his daughter a graduation party? A newly divorced executive is throwing himself a birthday bash? A floundering business is celebrating its tenth year?
Nice, politicians say to themselves, thats the ostensible. But whats the real reason for the party? Maybe the industrialist wants to get his daughter a good job so hes invited dozens of potential employers. The birthday boy is single again so the guest list is heavy with attractive and accomplished females. The business deperately needs good PR if its going to stay around another ten years. So theyve invited the press and community makers and shakers.
Politicians have expert under-rug vision to spot the hosts real agenda. They will, of course, never discuss it at the party. However, the insight elevates them to a shared state of higher cosciousness with other heavy hitters at the bash.
Their knowledge also makes them valuable agents for the party giver. A savvy politician introduces the job-seeking daugter to some executives at the party or tells the most alluring women at the bash what a great guy birthday boy is. When chatting with reporters, he talks up the hosts business that needs good PR. When people support the real why of the party, they become popular and sought-after guests for future events.
Where Is the Collective Mind?
Often people from one profession or one interest group will coprise most of the guest list. A politician never accepts any invittion without asking herself, What kind of people will be at this party, and what will they be thinking about? Perhaps there will be a drove of doctors. So she clicks on the latest medical headlines and rehearses a little doc-talk. If the guests are a nest of new-age voters, the politician gets up to speed on telepathic healing, Tantric toning, and trance dancing. Politicians cant afford to not be in the know.
How Am I Going to Follow Up on the Party?
Now, the big finale. I call it Contact Cement. Its cementing the contacts the politician has made. After meeting a good contact and exchanging cards, practically everyone says, Its been great talking to you. Well stay in touch.
This good intention seldom happens without herculean effort. Politicians, however, make a science out of keeping up the cotact. After the party, they sit at their desks and, like a game of soltaire, lay out the business cards of the people theyve met. Using
How to Work a Party Like a Politician Works a Room269
The Business Card Dossier technique described later in this setion, they decide how, when, and if to deal with each. Does this person require a phone call? Should that one receive a handwriten note? Shall I E-mail or call the other one?
Use the Six-Point Party Checklistthe Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a partyas your general game plan. Now lets get down to specifics.
How to Avoid the Most Common Party Blooper
The average party goer, lets say Charlie, arrives at the bash. He makes a beeline for the refreshment table for munchies and a beerage. He then finds a few buddies and starts chatting away with them.
Chewing the nibbles on his plate and the fat with his friends, he occasionally looks around the room to see who might be new and fun to talk to. Hes hoping several attractive and interesting people at the party will spot him and come over to talk.
Whats wrong with Charlies approach? Everything, if Chalie wants to make the party productive. Lets start with the aveage party goers first mistakegetting some refreshments and a drink right off the bat.
People mingling at a party make judgments, often subcoscious, about whom they are going to approach. Have you ever lived on a farm? Or had a dog or a cat? Then you know you never disturb animals when they are eating. Likewise, when a human animal is eating, other human animals do not feel comfortable advancing. If party goers eyes scan the crowd and see you with the feed bag on, they pass right over you. Subconsciously theyre saying to themselves, Let the hungry hound chow down and
How to Avoid the Most Common Party Blooper271
maybe well talk later. Later never comes because they wind up making friends with someone else whose mouth wasnt full.