Bathroom Readers Institute - The Funniest Joke Book Ever!

Buildings cant jump.What looks like half of a cat?The other half.What do cats like to eat for dessert?Mice cream.What should you know before you teach a dog a trick?More than the dog!Which movie is a feline favorite?The Sound of Mew-sic.Why can dogs scratch whenever they want to?They live in a flea country.What did the alien say to the cat?Take me to your litter!Will: If you want to find your dog, you should put an ad in the paper.Bill: Dont be silly. Fido cant read!Which cats make the best bowlers?Alley cats.Why are dogs such terrible dancers?They have two left feet.How do you spell mousetrap using three letters? C-A-T!What did the dog say when it sat on the sandpaper?Ruff.Cat: What smells the most in a garbage dump?Rat: The nose.Which household cleaner do dalmatians fear most?Spot remover.What do you call a guy whos been attacked by a cat?Claude!Why did the dog say Meow?He was trying to learn a second language.Whats a cats favorite song?Three Blind Mice.What do you get when you cross a dog and a dandelion?A collie-flower.Which game do cats like to play with mice?Catch!Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?The retail store.How do cats end a fight?They hiss and make up.What did the dalmatian say after eating?That hit the spots!Whats smarter than a talking cat?A spelling bee.How do fleas get from one dog to another dog?By itch-hiking.Why was the kitten in such a bad mood?She needed a catnap.Why did the dog cross the roadtwice?To fetch a boomerang!What do cats like to put in their milk?Mice cubes.Which breed of dog loves taking baths?Shampoodles!Why do cats scratch themselves?Because no one else knows where the itch is.How do you keep a dog from smelling?Put a clothespin on its nose.Why cant cats finish watching DVDs?They cant resist pressing the paws button.What did one flea say to the other flea when they walked out of the movie?Shall we walk or take the dog?What do you call a giant pile of cats?A meowtain.What do sheepdogs turn into every summer?Hot dogs!Why are cats terrible storytellers?They only have one tail.Why do dogs run around in circles?Its hard to run around in squares.What breakfast cereal do cats like best?Mice Krispies!Why did the Dachshund bite his trainers ankle?He couldnt reach any higher.What do you call a cat that just swallowed a duck?A duck-filled fatty puss.When is a bloodhound dumb?When it has no scents.Why do cats climb trees?Because they dont have ladders.