Big Boy - An XL Life: Staying Big at Half the Size

AN XL LIFE: STAYING BIG AT HALF THE SIZE
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Copyright 2011 by Kurt Alexander

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All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced
in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the publisher,
except where permitted by law.

This work is a memoir. It reflects the authors present recollections of
his experiences over a period of years. Certain names and identifying
characteristics have been changed.

First Hardcover Edition: December 2011

Book Layout: Peng Olaguera/ISPN
Cover Design: Michael Nagin
Cover Photography: Zach Cordner

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2011931191

ISBN: 978-1-936399-21-5 hc
ISBN: 978-1-936399-22-2 (eBook)

This book is dedicated to the most beautiful Angel
to ever walk this earth, my mother, Ida Mae Alexander.
I.L.Y.M.T.A.E.I.T.W. See ya when I get there.

A ll I had to do was wake up. Yeah, Id be in pain. It was surgery, not a pool party. But Id already had a weight loss surgerythe controversial duodenal switchto get a
handle on the 500-plus pounds Id topped out at by age 34. I knew I had a high threshold for pain. I wasnt tripping over a little procedure to remove the 40 to 50 pounds of excess skin Id been left with since the duodenal switch had helped me lose nearly half my body weight.

Sure, Id been clowning before the surgery: Well, damn, if I wake up and see Biggie and Tupac, then I know the procedure went wrong.

But nothing was going to go wrong. I was Big Boy. Id been a player in hip hop radio and culture since 1994. And I was still the force behind the live, weekday morning radio show Big Boys Neighborhood, which had been the number one rated radio show in our timeslot in Los Angeles since 1999.

Lifer that I am, the best part of my success was when the hip hop world Id loved from the outside as a kid became my world, too. Ice Cube rapped at my birthday party. Will.i.am flew me to Vegas to check out some new tracks. And Im not saying that like Im so cool, either. Im saying that like I was thinking it when it happened: I cant fucking believe how dope this is! Just like I know all of you would be thinking too, if itd been you. Thats how I approach my gigIm representing my listeners by going to the places they want to go and taking them along for the ride.

At the time of my skin removal operation in December 2006, I was just where I wanted to be. And I had busted my ass for twelve years to get there. I was Big Boy. Some little surgery wasnt going to slow me down.

The plan was to cut open my chest, pull off my skin, remove my nipples and put them on a table until the process was finished up. The surgeon would split me down around my bikini line, remove all that love skin, and then tighten it all up in the middle. At the end, Id have a thousand stitches. I can see you cringing at that description, but it sounds worse than it was.

I didnt even have to go to the hospital. The whole thing was going down at the Roxbury Institute in Beverly Hills. Id met my surgeon Dr. Jay Calvert through The Tyra Banks Show, which Id been a guest on following my weight loss surgery. He was the go-to guy for this kind of stuff. You know how it ispeople in Beverly Hills have a go-to guy for everything, especially plastic surgery.

Then, Id go to a fancy medical hotel nearby, where people recovered from nose jobs and surgeries like mine. Dr. Calvert told me that Cedars-Sinai hospital was down the street, almost as a throwaway, he didnt really have to mention it, because we would never need to go there.

After the surgery, I woke up. They had moved me to the medical hotel.

I was lying in bed, relaxing. My fiance Veronica, whos now my wife, and the nurse were right there with me.

Then, maybe twenty minutes in, it felt like something just hit me. It was a similar feeling to when you get real sick, and its all over you, and you cant get comfortable. Nausea. Pain. Fever.

I feel so bad, I feel like I gotta throw up, I said.

Veronica stood at the side of my bed. She looked worried.

Weve got to feed him, the nurse said. Weve got to get some nutrients in him.

Veronica tried to feed me some jello. I was so out of it that it felt like it would not end, like she kept putting the spoon in the cupForever. Once she got the spoon into my mouth, it didnt help.

Things got worse. My eyes rolled back in my head. It was almost like I had to spit or get sicksomethingbut I couldnt. Nothing would come out. My tongue was hanging out of my mouth, and I was making this noise, like I was gagging.

Baby, are you okay? Veronica said.

She and the nurse grabbed either side of meI was still a big boyand they did their best to sit me up in bed. They leaned me forward, in case I did vomit. And then, I smelled it: blood. My whole back was nothing but blood from the incisions.

Im not feeling right, I said. I am not feeling right.

And then, I blacked out.

I woke up to chaos in the room.

Whats going on here? I asked. Whats happening?

But I couldnt hold on long enough to find out. Just like that, I was out again.

I came to and heard the sound of someone saying, Take his blood pressure.

It was like there was a fishbowl effect on my vision. I couldnt see the edges of the room, just Veronica and the nurse by my bed. The room was dark beyond them.

Whats going on? I said. Whats going on?

And, then, I was out again. They made me inhale some smelling salts.

BOOM! I woke up.

Whats going on? I said again. Whats going on?

No matter how many times I asked, no one could say anything. Because no one knew. At one point, Dr. Calverts assistant was at the foot of the bed. I locked eyes with him. He had this face on him that was just full of fear. That look said it all. They had no idea what was happening or what to do for me.

Okay, Im fucked up, I thought.

I took that into my next blackout.

While I was out, I saw Biggie. It could have been the drugs. But I saw him. For real. And, right then, I knew it was bad.

Every time I woke up, it got worse. Veronica was crying, just bawling. The doctors were going crazy.

And then, I heard them say, Weve got to take him to Cedars.

The only way I was going to Cedars was if something had gone wrong.

Something went wrong. But what?

I couldnt hold on long enough to find out. I blacked out again.

I came to again, thinking, Oh my God, Im dying.

It hit me. I thought about my choices. Which way do I want to walk? Do I want to walk through deaths door, or do I want to walk through the door to have more days?

Thats how close I was to the white light.

But I was going to fight.

I didnt want to die. For years, Id had the it cant happen to me attitude about what my morbid obesity was doing to my body and my life span. You know what Im talking about. Weve all got that part of our personality that tries to look the other way when were doing something we know is not good for us. But, finally, I had gotten big enough that Id been forced to get it: not only could it happen to me; it was happening to me. I would die if I didnt lose the weight. And I wanted to live.

So I had gotten the most extreme form of weight loss surgery there was. At 500 plus pounds, I knew I was an extreme case. I had thought all I had to do was wake up from that surgery, too. That procedure was supposed to help me lose weight by restricting my eating through the removal of about eighty percent of my stomach. The surgery would cause my body to malabsorb fat by rerouting a portion of my small intestine. But it had also caused my body to start malabsorbing nutrients and nearly starving itself to death, forcing me to fight back. I had survived swelling, blackouts, seizures, feeling worse than Id thought a brother could feel. Id already gotten through all of that.