Alexis Munier - The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words

Alexis Munier
Copyright 2009 by Alexis Munier.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews. Published by
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com ISBN 10: 1-60550-652-4
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-652-4
eISBN: 978-1-44051-357-2 Printed in the United States of America. J I H G F E D C B A Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice.

If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters. This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
To Greg, Mikey, and Toby,
the filthiest f**king guys I know. ALEXIS MUNIER Contents Introduction Ah Englishif there is anything close to a perfect language for cursing, swearing and insulting, youve found it.

English is not only spoken in one variant or another in the UK, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, United States, and the Caribbean, but its also the mother tongue of more than a third of a billion mofos worldwide. Fortunately, English has borrowed from many languages over the years, making it the worlds richestand raunchiestlanguage, ripe with delectable dirty words. Unfortunately, unless you can really shoot the shit, you have some serious catching up to do. You may think youre all that, but theres more to putting someone in their place than calling them shitface. Is he just not that into you when he calls you a minger? When that biddy says shes chuffed, should you unzip your fly or slam the door in her face? If your lover begs for a chili dog, do you stock up on beans or wet wipes? No fear: The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words is here to give you a deliciously filthy introduction into the netherworlds (and nether regions) of true American, British, Australian, and other sorts of forbidden English. Be it cocksucking in Cleveland or leathered in London, this hysterical collection of dirty slang, idioms, and colloquialisms will have you begging for it.

So call dibs on that seat, get plastered, and channel your inner potty-mouth with the sidesplitting linguistic journey that is The Little RedBook of Very Dirty Words. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS A heartfelt thank you to contributors Matt Glazer, Jason Niemann, Gregory Bergman, Michael Paul Lee, T.S. Winn, Chris Robson, and Katherine Clinton Robson for their excellent work. Thanks as well to Mom, Emmanuel Tichelli, Georgina Bingham, Toby and Karen Ernberg, Yoann Unghy, Coralee Elder, Louis Da Drama, Bondy, Si, Jimmy, Alec, Big Gay, the Robsons, the Andersons, Derek Hambly, and David George, who all took the time to get down and dirty for this book. ALEXIS MUNIER 1, 2, 3... the sex act as procreation; American The unconventional equation, 1 + 1 = 3, reminds us that what takes two can produce a thirda baby. 3-way, n. a sexual threesome, usually (but not always) two women and a man; American The images of a 3-way with the tall twins from Texas haunted his dreams for weeks. Top Five Male Sex Fantasies 1. Top Five Male Sex Fantasies 1.

Sex with two women at the same time 2. Sex with two women at the same time 3. Sex with two women at the same time 4. Sex with a famous celebrity 5. Oral sex (getting it, that is) 4-way, n. 69, n. sex position in which partners give each other oral sex at the same time; American The sex position is the ultimate tit for tat accommodation. sex position in which partners give each other oral sex at the same time; American The sex position is the ultimate tit for tat accommodation.

THE LOVELIEST NUMBER Called The Crow in the Kama Sutra, 69 is a nestling of bodies that allows lovers to perform oral sex on one another simultaneouslya pretty picture that has been immortalized in countless images over the ages. One such notorious engraving allegedly created by the acclaimed Belgian painter Felician Rops in 1865 appeared in Le Diable au Corpsand was promptly banned in France. Imagine what they would have thought in Boston! A academic bulimia, n. academic bulimia, the act of studying or remembering facts really quickly without learning the meaning, so this knowledge can be regurgitated on a exam or test, but not retained after that exam or test; American I used academic bulimia to get by in college, so I could concentrate on the true meaning of college: sex, drugs, and awful mistakes. aggro, n. aggravation, trouble; British The missus gave me some aggro after I said her sister was looking sexy. agnosexual, n. bisexual; American Somewhere between heterosexual and homosexual, the agnosexual is hitting on everyone. a-hole, n. slang term for asshole; American I called him an a-hole instead of an asshole, because my mother raised me to be polite. aled up, adj. drunk; British Robert was so aled up, he puked up in his mums fake fire. drunk; British Robert was so aled up, he puked up in his mums fake fire.

Robert was so drunk, he threw up in his moms fake fireplace. alkie, n. a wino; British Shes such a closet alkie. She drinks wine for breakfast. Shes such a closet wino. anal sex, n. copulation in which one partner thrusts his penis in his partners anus; AmericanAnal sex is not an effective form of birth control, no matter what your boyfriend may tell you. angry dragon, n. one who has been punched in the nose with a mouth full of sperm; American When klutzy Kevin came in her mouth, he smacked her in the face, and she shot sperm out her nose. one who has been punched in the nose with a mouth full of sperm; American When klutzy Kevin came in her mouth, he smacked her in the face, and she shot sperm out her nose.

One angry dragon, she kicked that man out of her bed. arse, n. ass; British Candice only let her boyfriend fuck her in the arse when he was nice to her parents. Candice only let her boyfriend fuck her in the ass when he was nice to her parents. DERIVATION: Arse comes from the Old English aers, meaning tail, derived from the Proto-Germanic root arsoz for anus. Yes, Ive heard.