Tim Nyberg - The Practical Jokers Handbook: The Sequel

THE BEST PRACTICAL JOKE OF ALL IS TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOU WILL GET SOMEONE BACK FOR A JOKE THAT THEY PLAYED ON YOU. TALK IT UP AND TELL THEM TO EXPECT IT AT ANY TIMEANY DAY NOW THEN DO NOTHING. ITLL DRIVE THEM NUTS!

Y oure insatiable! In The Practical Jokers Handbook, we offered you well over two hundred ideas for practical jokes to play on your family, friends, and work associates. We thought that would be enough apparently not. Not only did you beg for more, you sent us a slew of new ideas. So we plowed through the lot of them, weeded out the ones that we thought were downright nasty, and rewrote the rest. We edited out any attributions to protect the guilty (you know who you arethanks).

In this book, as in the first, keep in mind that our rules for a good practical joke are:

Both parties (eventually) find humor in the prank

No property damage

No physical injuries

And nothing that might place you in jail or in the unemployment line

With those simple rules in mind here is our second collection of practical jokes. Have fun!

TIM

Based on the number of people fooled, this is one of the forty best historic April Fool pranks ever played .

THE RECORD SWISS SPAGHETTI
HARVEST OF 1957

A BBC News show reported that, thanks to a mild winter and the elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a record-breaking spaghetti crop. Film footage of peasants picking stands of spaghetti from trees was shown to give the story validity. Many called in to the BBC asking how to plant their own spaghetti tree. The BBC suggested that they stick a stick of spaghetti into a can of tomato sauce and hope for the best.

Next time your spouse/significant other falls asleep before you do, sneak around and change the time on all of the clocks to five minutes before their alarm is set to go off. Go to bed and go to sleep. In five minutes, theyll be getting up and showering while you lie in bed snickering.

You seldom look at your drivers license, right? Except when showing it to people for identification purposeswhen you still might not actually look closely at it. Secretly grab your spouses (roommates, etc.) license and tape a new photo over theirs. Use your imagination when selecting a photothe worse the photo, the funnier the surprise will be the next time they are asked for some form of ID.

If youre house-sitting, you can have a ton of fun at the expense of the person whose house you are sitting for (we covered some of these in the first book). Heres a new one: Unscrew various light switches in the house and flip them upside down. It will take them a while to figure out whats wrong with the lights. (Caution: If you dont know what youre doing here, dont do thisyou could get electrocuted!)

Attach a strip of clear packaging tape across a doorway, about six inches above the floor. Wait until someone is about to leave and tell them, Have a good trip!

Buy a realistic-looking rubber spider, cockroach, or other insect. Unwind the toilet paper roll a few turns, then rewind the paper with the bug inside. The victim wont be able to move too far when the bug makes its appearance.

Based on the number of people fooled, this is one of the forty best historic April Fool pranks ever played.

THE MIGHTY SID FINCH

In 1985, Sports Illustrated published a story about Sid Finch, a new rookie pitcher playing for the Mets. Sid had mastered the art of the pitch at a Tibetan monastery and could throw a ball at 168 miles per hour with pinpoint accuracy. This was an amazing 65 miles per hour faster than the previous record! Mets fans flooded the Sports Illustrated offices with requests for more information about Sid. Sadly, he existed only in the mind of the author, George Plimpton.

If you go to a camp or a dormitory that has wooden slats under the mattresses, you can booby-trap the beds by removing all but a few of the slatsjust enough to keep the mattresses in place. As soon as someone sits or lies on a bed, they will find themselves on the floor.

LEVITATING MATTRESS

HIDE UNDER A BED UNTIL THE PERSON LIES

DOWNWAIT FOR THEM TO START DRIFTING OFF TO SLEEP, THEN BENCH-PRESS THE MATTRESS.

Smear a thin coat of heating muscle rub on toilet seats about an hour before anyone wakes up. If you live in a dorm or a large family, it will appear as if theres some kind of outbreak of butt rash.

At the hardware store, pick up a remote control outlet with a small keychain remote button (they sell these around Christmastime, for tree lights). Plug in an appropriate item (television, computer monitor, reading light, etc.) and keep the remote hidden discreetly in your pant pocket (you can still push the button through your pant leg). Watch as your house- or office mates go nuts trying to figure out whats wrong.