@CrapTaxidermy - Much Ado about Stuffing: The Best and Worst of @CrapTaxidermy

So I welcomed them to Woodbury; what a mistake that was. They killed my daughter, stabbed me in the eye, and to top it off, one of them left a skid mark on my toilet.

Would you like a souvenir photo from your ride on Splash Mountain?

... and I said to him, Derek! I know there arent many job opportunities for raccoons at the moment, but you need to do something. We cant eat out of bins forever.

Elaine! I am absolutely fumingI only went for a filling and this is what he did to my teeth! The guys at work have started calling me fucking Molar Bear!

Im sorry, Alan, but if you insist on sleeping under cars this was bound to happen at some point.

Winning that ticket, Squirrel Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me; it brought me to you.

Oh, fuck. The missus is going to kill me when I tell her I lost our nest under the floorboards.

Jesse. We need to cook.

Youve got to see the positives in life, Steve. You could say that you are missing a horn. I say you became a unicorn.

Please can we go to McDonalds, Daddy? Please!

Heck, Im real nervous, so Im just gonna go ahead and say it. Paula Prickly, will you go to the dance with me?

Im sorry to disappoint you, Daddy, but Im far too fabulous to play football. I was born to dance!

OK, Scouts, follow me into the woods, and do watch out for those child-eating wolves; they can be extremely cunning.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But please come closer; your arms look tasty.

Look, Sasha, Ive been building dams all frickin day. If I want a beer, Ill have a beer. Get off my case, woman.

Its not fair; I dont want to go to bed! Simon Spottyfaces parents let him stay up until 10:30 on school nights!

Look, Princess, I just dont think that Prince Ali guy is good enough for you. I mean, he said he was going to show you the world but he just flew you around the block like twice on an old carpet.

After we finished filming Star Wars, the work just kinda stopped. Like one minute youre piloting the Millennium Falcon shooting Storm Troopers and shit, the next you cant even get a walk-on part in a daytime soap. It got so bad I had to pawn my silver chest belt thing to pay my rent one month. I couldnt handle it, man; it turned me to drink. Every day I would open a bottle, sit by the phone, and wait for it to ring. Sometimes Id try to call Harrison, but the guy just didnt want to know. Its when youre at your lowest that you realize who your real friends are. I cant say it wasnt a tough time, but thankfully those dark days are behind me. Ive been dry for two years now and with the help of Wookie Jesus I intend to keep it that way.

Margaret! Ive got to give a PowerPoint presentation to the board today. Where the fuck have you put my toupee?!

Right, no joking now! Who used all my coffee? I need my coffee!

Whats that, Lassie? Little Timmy has fallen down the old wishing well and youre too fabulous to care?!

Take my strong hand, child.

That moment when you hear someone talking behind your back...