Kelly Cozy - A Nerd Girls Guide to Cinema: Reviews of 200 Cult Classics, Overlooked Gems, and Interesting Failures

A Nerd Girls Guide to Cinema

Movie reviews and musings

by Kelly Cozy

A NERD GIRLS GUIDE TO CINEMA. Copyright 2015 by Kelly Cozy. All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Contents

Thanks and Dedication

A special set of thank-yous to all the usual suspects, but especially to all those who enable my love of oddball movies: Erik Hoard, Joseph Finn, Jeremy Koerner, Albert Muller, Bret Nelson, Steve Ryfle, and Matt Sides. Particular thanks to James Reilly, for taking me on at Horrorview.

Much gratitude to Alan Natale at uxartist.info for the fantastic cover.

Dedicated to the memory of E. Gerry Hoard: mentor, minister, good friend, and partner in movie-watching. I know youve got a good balcony seat at the Cinema Paradisio.

Foreword by James Reilly, Editor of Horrorview

A long while back, in the early days of Horrorview.com, I received a query from a young woman asking if wed consider adding her decidedly more feminine perspective to what, at the time, was mainly a boys club known mostly for its contributors testosterone-fueled rants and an all-consuming obsession with boobies. While I was perfectly content with our internet equivalent of the Little Rascals He-Man Woman Haters Club, I was also quite taken with this young ladys voice, as while it was definitely feminine, I also found it comfortably conversational, exceptionally witty, and not at all afraid to get down and dirty when it needed to. I knew shed fit right in and, for nearly a decade now, Kelly Cozy aka Suicide Blonde has been one of Horrorviews most loyal and valued contributors.

I always look forward to new reviews from The Blonde, as theyre not only consistently funny and well-written, but theyre also like a mini date night with the coolest, geekiest chick you ever met. Kellys got a way of easing you into her reviews that instantly plops you onto the tattered sofa beside her, sipping a Moscow mule and munching popcorn as the opening credits crawl across the screen. A few minutes in, youre either laughing yourself silly as she comes to the realization that nostalgias a deceptive bitch (as in her review of Galaxy of Terror ) or watching with your hands over your eyes as she subjects herself to the all-too-real horrors of a film like Pier Pasolinis thoroughly depraved Sal . Often amusing and always insightful, Kellys reviews have garnered her lot of fans, and Im one of her biggest (both figuratively and literally).

When Kelly asked me to write the foreword to this collection of some of her favorite reviews as well as a metric butt-load of new stuff written especially for those of you holding this book (or tablet, or smart phone, or whatever form of sorcery you kids use to read the written word these days), I was truly humbled and honored. Then I got a little scared, and maybe even a touch selfish. I mean, what if this books a massive hit? Hell, it certainly deserves to be, but if it is, will she still find time to write for our little ol site? Will she still invite us over for Moroccan food despite the fact we live on opposite sides of the country? Then I remind myself that if you love something, you have to set it free. If it doesnt come back, well, at least youll get a few new page views out of the deal!

In all seriousness, we do love our Blonde, and were sure you will, too. So sit back and let Kelly take you on a journey through the fun, freaky, and fantastic world of cinema in a way only our resident Nerd Girl can.

Introduction

Its been a long and twisty road for this book. When I was a kid, back in the 1970s, I would read the Sunday entertainment section and be fascinated by the strange movie ads. This fascination took a different turn in the 1980s with the advent of home video. No longer did I stare at the newspaper. Now I stood in the Horror or the Cult classics section of the local video rental store, gazing at lurid box cover art, wishing I could talk my mother into renting some of these movies, and knowing full well I never could.

About the same time as the video revolution, I became interested in movie reviews. If I couldnt see the movies that intrigued me, at least I could find out what others thought of them. Probably my first exposure to reviews was the show Sneak Previews , with Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel giving their now-famous thumbs-up and thumbs-down reviews. It was always enjoyable when they disagreed, not least because it made me realize that intelligent people who respected each others opinions could disagree, passionately at times.

Other critics whose work I enjoyed included Pauline Kael, whose books were a staple checkout for me at my university library; Joe Bob Briggs, drive-in critic extraordinaire with his cheerful tallies of the breasts, blood, and beasts in each film; and, most of all, Danny Peary, whose Cult Movies books opened my eyes to new films.

I didnt write my own reviews with any regularity until the early years of the new millennium. I was taking a hiatus from fiction writing, largely out of the sheer exhaustion brought on by motherhood, when the website Horrorview put out a call for new reviewers. Id already been reading the site for quite some time and, figuring I had nothing to lose, auditioned with a review of I Spit On Your Grave . I still maintain that Jim Reilly, Horrorviews editor, was so astounded to find a woman who not only admitted to watching I Spit but had some relatively positive things to say about it, that he hired me out of the sheer novelty factor. My gig with the site has been tremendously enjoyable, and has led to some great friendships.

Shortly after independently publishing my debut novel, The Day After Yesterday , I got the idea of doing my own movie review book. A portion of the book consists of reviews that appeared on Horrorview (in slightly different form), and the rest are original to this book.

At first I had planned to cover many of the major geek classics. But on reflection, I realized that if youre interested in this book, youve already seen Star Wars , or The Lord of the Rings , or Monty Python and the Holy Grail , or The Nightmare Before Christmas , or The Princess Bride ... you get the idea. My goal is to steer you toward some films that are a bit off the beaten path, and while there are plenty of horror, action, and sci-fi films covered here, youll also find reviews for many other genres: film noir, Western, art-house favorites, romantic comedies, chick flicks, musicals, anime, and even a porn film.

The hardest part of this book was limiting myself to 200 movies. There are so very many films out there, and not nearly the time available to watch them. Im sure that for months afterward I will be slapping myself upside the head and saying, I cant believe I forgot to review The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati ! Ive included a list at the end of another 200 films you could do much worse than to watch. And if you want to chat about any of the movies, feel free to drop me a line at smitepublications@gmail.com or follow @Kelly_Cozy on Twitter.

I wish you happy reading, and happy watching!

-Kelly Cozy

February 2015

In Gratitude

Dedicated to these directors, whose films tweaked the psyche of young-and-impressionable me.

Brian De Palma

Bob Fosse

Terry Gilliam

Alfred Hitchcock

David Lynch

Ken Russell

Peter Weir

Its all your fault, gentlemen.