Zac Bissonnette - Good Advice from Bad People: Selected Wisdom from Murderers, Stock Swindlers, and Lance Armstrong

W elcome to the first page of the last self-help book youll ever want to buy.

Americans love self-help. In 2008, even at the height of the recession, we spent eleven billion dollars on self-improvement products13.6 percent more than in 2005, when we were spending money on everything from subprime mortgages to Ashlee Simpson CDs. No matter how bad the world was, and how much evidence there was that it was all spinning out of our control, we still believed that strangers smiling at us from the covers of their own books could make our lives better.

But all too often, Americas smiling, inspirational prophets turn out to be comicallyand sometimes darklyhorrible at following their own leads: A guy writes a book on how to build instant rapport with strangersand then gets arrested for threatening a receptionist. Lance Armstrong preaches about winning with integrity. Donald Trump warns about the pitfalls of narcissism. These kinds of charlatans rise to the top because, in our desperate need for motivational figures, we make almost no effort to vet them.

Its tempting to dismiss these people as fraudshypocritical mountebanks who cashed in without regard to their own failings. Some of these guysand yes, they are almost without exception guysare just that.

But theres another, more charitable explanation for this unbelievable contradiction between the advice people give and the things people do. Freud called it psychological projection. Historian Peter Gay defines projection as the operation of expelling feelings or wishes the individual finds wholly unacceptabletoo shameful, too obscene, too dangerousby attributing them to another. The people who think that others would benefit from a book advising them not to resort to violence to solve problems are often exactly the kind of people who hire ex-cons to kill their stepdaughters high school principal (see page 106). Still, good advice abounds, and there are enough examples to fill up a book that will improve your life as much as any other collection of self-help quotesas long as you can follow it better than the people who gave it. Its not enough to know what to do or to be able to phrase it eloquently: if you want to be a compassionate man, dont assault a flight attendant because the grapes arrived prepackaged with the cheese (see page 125).

A NOTE ON SOURCES: The biographical material on each Bad Person was culled from reputable media outlets and is, to the best of the authors knowledge, accurate. In the case of criminal matters, please remember that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

PART ONE

MONEY SECRETS (E.G., THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THESE BOOKS HAVE NO MONEY)

T he past fifteen years have led to the unmasking of more financial geniuses than any period in U.S. history. It started with Enron around the turn of the millennium but really heated up in 2009 with the financial crisis in full swing, and with Bernie Madoff, Teresa Giudice, and dozens of others.

While the details vary, the roots of the falls are usually the same: shortsighted obsession with reward at the expense of risk management, arrogant overconfidence, and eagerness to suspend disbelief.

Naturally though, the word on Wall Street has always been long-term growth, discretion, and reliability; the most successful entrepreneurs and investors certainly personify those ideals, but those ideals most vocal proponents often dont.

It is better and less expensive to avoid getting ill than it is to treat an existing illness. In a similar way, it is better and less expensive to organize your affairs so that you will not need to go to court than it is to go to court and win.

Sonny Bloch, Sonny Blochs Cover Your Assets

S onny Bloch was that rare guru who did follow his own advicein this case about avoiding court appearances at all costs. A lounge singer turned popular syndicated talk-radio host in the 1980s and early 90s (he once had Alan Greenspan on as a guest), Bloch used his radio platform to peddle all manner of dubious investments, including gold bars that were actually spray-painted metal and stakes in Venezuelan radio stationsalmost always without disclosing to listeners that he was the one on the other side of the trade. When first-time callers but longtime listeners at the Justice Department, IRS, and Securities and Exchange Commission came bearing indictments and lawsuits, Bloch fled to the Dominican Republic, where his wife owned propertythe ultimate litigation avoidance strategy. He was extradited in 1995, served two years at Club Fed, and was freed after he was found to be suffering from late-stage lung cancer; the prosecutor requested his release after Bloch told him he believed the cancer was divine retribution for his crimes. He died in 1998 at the age of sixty-one.

The only barriers in your career are self-imposed.

Albert J. Dunlap, Mean Business: How I Save Bad Companies and Make Good Companies Great

I n the early- to mid-1990s, no one personified the archetype of the tough, take-no-prisoners CEO quite like Al Dunlap. He proudly went by the nickname Chainsaw Al, and his pink slipheavy turnaround of Scott Paper made him an icon of everything America needed to stay competitive in the twenty-first century. In July 1996, Sunbeam announced that it had hired him as CEO, and the stock soared 50 percent in one day; 1996s