Aurora Gayle - The Pregnancy

I awake to the smell of vanilla birch and the faint scent of bleach and disinfectant. The combination makes me want to vomit yet again, but somehow I manage to keep down whatever little is left in my stomach after last nights episode. My throat dry. Lips parched. Head pounding, I reach for the residue of water in the glass on my night stand. I am surprised to find that the glass has been refilled. Sadie must have refilled it while I tried to sleep my problems away. What would I ever do without Sadie and her wonderful husband Lawrence? When I moved to Atlanta and started working for Oasis Media; Sadie became my first friend in Atlanta. We bonded instantly; not just because we were the only two black girls working for the company but because Sadie was the kindest soul I had ever met. She would give a stranger the clothes off her back if they needed it. She was the only person to stand by me without judgement every time I messed up. I wondered if she was still here, I didnt expect her to abandon her family for me; the irresponsible damsel in distress, who cant learn from her past.

I begin to wonder what time it is, I pull my phone from the drawer in my night stand. It is: 4:41 am. I lay back down to sleep, but I know that sleep will evade me for the next few days, weeks even months. How am I pregnant?

Hey, how are you doing? I open my eyes slowly and Sadies face looms into my field of vision.

Oh Sadie, I hope you didnt stay here all night! I say.

Sadie smiles at me, of course I did, Lawrence got his mom to stay with Travis. There was no way we would leave you all by yourself last night.

Thank you Sadie, what would I ever do without you and Lawrence?

Sadie takes hold of my hand, Aria you know we will always be here for you no matter what. I nod but I feel like I am becoming a burden to them.

Sadie, can I ask you something?

Yeah sure

I take a deep breath before I speak, Do you believe me?

She hesitates. Of course she would. Who would believe a crazy story like mine? Im pregnant but I havent had sex with anyone in over a year. Not to mention the fact that I used to be an alcoholic who slept with random guys that I met in clubs and bars. Two years ago I changed my life around after a horrifying experience that almost cost me my life. Since then Ive been sober, I stopped going to clubs and after my boyfriend Christian and I broke up a year ago Ive been celibate. I wanted to re-discover myself and focus on me. So again? How am I pregnant? This must be a joke! I asked my doctor several times if she was sure that I was pregnant and each time she confirmed that I was indeed pregnant.

But Doctor Lake thats impossible I told her, Ive been celibate for more than a year. The judgmental look on her face will always stay with me. Ms. Cromwell I suggest that you take a few days off work to relax and think about whats best for you and the baby, clearly you are stressed

I forgot all my rules about being labelled an angry black woman, Me and the baby? There is no fucking baby because I havent had sex in over a year! Are you even listening to me? I scream.

Ms. Cromwell you need to calm down. I can recommend a great therapist for you, just so you can sit down and sort out your feelings about your pregnancy.

The nerve of this bitch, you think Im crazy huh? You think Im a crazy, angry black woman who cant even remember when she got fucked and knocked up. If I was some white bitch I bet you would believe me!

Ms. Cromwell thats not what Im saying.

I pick up my bag and coat and storm out of the clinic to the safety and confinement of my car. Once Im in there, I cry like a baby for almost an hour. Then I call Sadie who insists that Im in no condition to be driving and she comes to take me home.

I believe you Aria! she says finally.

You do? I ask searching her eyes for the tiniest hint of doubt but I can find none.

Yes I do, It wouldnt make sense for you to make this up. Plus I dont believe youve been with anybody since Christian. You said the doctor did multiple tests right? So youre definitely pregnant?

I nod, yep! Plus Ive been having pregnancy symptoms for the past two months. It all makes sense now; the nausea, vomiting, spotting, fatigue and food cravings. Ive put on a little weight and Ive been really disgusted by onions lately.

Weve got to think about how this happened. How far along are you?

Doctor Lake says Im about 3 months pregnant.

Did you ask her about DNA testing? Sadie asked.

No I went full ghetto on her and I stormed out of that clinic like a bat outta hell. I feel really bad now for the way I acted in there.

Under the circumstances, Id say youre excused.

I smile, Sadie, thank you for being my friend. I dont know what I would do without you and your family. You guys are always there for me. One day I will be able to repay you guys.

Awww You know you my sister right? She reaches over to hug me and in that moment I know that Sadie would have my back no matter what.

Sadie and I are sitting at my kitchen table as I force myself to eat the spinach and cheese frittata she has prepared. Under normal circumstances; I would devour anything cooked by Sadie but my appetite seems to have declined just like my zeal and lust for life.

I want you to think really hard. Did you have any medical procedure recently where you had to be unconscious for a period of time? I saw this piece on the news where this lady in a coma got pregnant; its got to be something like that Aria. Theres no other explanation!

I shrug, I did a root canal two months ago but I was awake the whole time. About six months ago I did a pap smear but again I was awake the whole time.

I know Sadie is just trying to help and her heart is in the right place but truthfully Id rather lie down in bed and think about how sorry my life is.

Sadie opens up her eyes with excitement as if shes got a life changing idea. Have you seen that show, Jane The Virgin? Its on Netflix. This girl goes to her gynaecologist for a routine procedure and she is accidentally impregnated.

Sadie this is my life were talking about here, not a TV show.

She sighs, I know but its something that couldve happened without your knowledge. What if you were artificially inseminated by accident instead of the Pap smear? The doctor could have mixed up your file with someone elses.

Sadie places her index finger on her temple as if pondering deeply. Oh my gosh, could you imagine what a major lawsuit that would be? Youd be rich!

Sadie I yell.

Ok, ok. Im sorry. You know I have an overactive imagination.

Damn right you do, I say.

Girl I dunno what to say. Like I said, I believe you 100%. So the only other explanation is either you were raped by aliens or accidently impregnated at a clinic or hospital. She shrugs her shoulders in what I think is frustration or maybe even confusion but I know my story is ridiculous so who can blame her.

Girl why you never got pregnant when we used to be wilding out in our 20s at Club Cinco? You used to get white girl wasted yet somehow you never managed to get pregnant. It would have been so much easier to figure out what happened.

I refuse to reply to Sadie, I know shes just trying to inject some humour into this ridiculous predicament I have found myself in but nothing about it is funny to me. I want to ask her to leave but it feels wrong so I tell her I am going to take a nap. I cover the frittata and place it in the microwave. Ive managed to eat just about half of it and a small bit of toast. I hope that I can keep it down.

I get up and walk slowly to my room, Aria. Sadies voice echoes gently in the tiny passageway leading to my bedroom and bath. I think you should call the police, she tells me.