Rachel Ann Cullen - Running for Our Lives: Stories of everyday runners overcoming extraordinary adversity

RACHEL ANN CULLEN
RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES

First published in 2022 by Vertebrate Publishing. This digital edition first published in 2022 by Vertebrate Publishing.

Vertebrate Publishing
Omega Court, 352 Cemetery Road, Sheffield S11 8FT, United Kingdom.
www.adventurebooks.com

Copyright Rachel Ann Cullen 2022.

Front cover illustration Amy Grimes represented by The Artworks Illustration Agency.

Rachel Ann Cullen has asserted her rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as author of this work.

This book is a work of non-fiction. The author has stated to the publishers that, except in such minor respects not affecting the substantial accuracy of the work, the contents of the book are true. Some names and incidental details have been changed to protect the privacy of contributors.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN: 9781839811395 (Paperback)
ISBN: 9781839811401 (Ebook)
ISBN: 9781839811418 (Audiobook)

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All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means graphic, electronic, or mechanised, including photocopying, recording, taping or information storage and retrieval systems without the written permission of the publisher.

Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologise for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.

Design by Jane Beagley, Vertebrate Publishing.
Production by Rosie Edwards, Vertebrate Publishing.
www.adventurebooks.com

The doubtful voices come. Usually, it happens when I am trying my best to be brave, and Im trying very hard to do that today. You see, I have an idea and it wont go away. As I lie in the bath contemplating all that running has been in my life up to this point, my head keeps jumping between memories that are scorched into my brain. First, I am an overweight teen struggling to jog for more than a few minutes on a treadmill then SWITCH I am a thirty-seven-year-old woman winning a twenty-mile road race SWITCH AGAIN I am sixteen years old and struggling to breathe while barely even jogging up the slightest of inclines SWITCH BACK AGAIN I am crossing the finishing line of the London Marathon in three hours and seventeen minutes. As my head flips between the juxtaposed realities I have lived, I know that I want to share my story.

You cant do that! Nobody even cares. Why would they want to read your story? Who do you think you are, Rachel? Get back in your box.

When it happens, my first instinct is to scurry away and hide. Its a fair point, my logical mind responds to the mocking taunts. Why should anyone care? What do you have to say that anybody would possibly want to listen to? Whats so special about your story? In fact, whats so special about you?

I am obedient by nature. My first instinct is to obey. WHAT AM I THINKING? For a brief moment it works, and I turn on my heels as though Im about to do it to head straight back into my box.

But then it happens. The tiniest fluttering of objection. And it is only a fluttering, but I notice it and I am willing it to become stronger. I try to give it some space room to expand as though it needs a quiet place and a growbag. My logical, over-thinking, self-berating mind is momentarily silenced. He is left huffing in frustrated breaths over in the corner. Why wont she LISTEN to me? he humphs, as I stand with my back to him, waiting for the brave voice to emerge.