PRAISE FOR
Nobody Told Me
If it were up to me, I would have every young person in America read this book (and because it's about sex, they would read it!). Pam Stenzel speaks boldly and honestly about sexuality in a beautiful way unlike anyone I know. This book is written in a style and format perfect for students to read and be challenged.
Jim Burns, Ph.D.
President of HomeWord and author of 10 Building Blocks for a Solid Family, The Purity Code and Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality
Having known Pam for more than a decade, I can attest to the fact that there is hardly anyone on the planet with more experience reaching out to teens about the dangers of lust and the rewards of purity. In Nobody Told Me, she offers straight answers to tough questions that every young person struggles with on a daily basis. With her characteristic wit and straightforward wisdom, she offers young people an antidote to the poison offered to them in our sex-saturated culture. Pam doesn't merely draw upon the collective wisdom that she has gained from reading medical journals and sociological studies. She taps into the insights she has learned from innumerable tearful conversations and riveting emails from teens. Their words, as well as hers, will inspire and encourage the reader of this book to hope for God's best and settle for nothing less.
Jason Evert
Author of If You Really Loved Me, Pure Love and Theology of the Body for Teens
I have admired Pam Stenzel's ministry for many years. Her straightforward approach provides teens all the information they need to make healthy sexual choices. Through a combination of peer stories and answered questions, Pam and Melissa have built on that greatness. This book has a creative, inviting approach that will provide every teen with a sense of understanding and empowerment through Christ to make wise decisions. No home, school or church should be without this text. it will undoubtedly change lives.
Josh McDowell
Author of Why True Love Waits
Pam Stenzel is the voice to today's generation regarding sex. Nobody Told Me is filled with personal stories from students that echo the hurt of having sex outside of marriageand also true stories of students who waited. Pam writes just as she speaks: engaging, intense, mesmerizing. She always captivates an audience, and students walk away in awe of what they've learned. Pam doesn't simply say, Don't have sex; she unpacks the consequences of crossing God's barriers and shows the beauty of waiting for God's perfect gift. Presented in a popular Facebook style, students will love the captivating design and readability. This isn't simply another book on sexual purity or consequences; it's the book. Why? Because after finishing it, no reader will be able to say, i didn't know. Nobody told me. This is a must-read for students and for anyone who works with students.
Susie Shellenberger
Editor, SUSIE Magazine
I love Pam Stenzel! Having known and admired her and her ministry for years, it is my joy to recommend Nobody Told Me to you. With interactive stories from young people across the nation, this book is relevant, powerful and packed with truths that all young people need to hear. I was encouraged as I read this book, and you will be too.
Rebecca St. James
Bestselling Christian recording artist and author
![2010 Pam Stenzel Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group PO - photo 1](/uploads/posts/book/396071/Images/titlepage.gif)
2010 Pam Stenzel
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Revell edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-2582-5
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by international Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Other versions used are:
THE MESSAGEscripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
NLTscripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. all rights reserved.
Dedication
To all those who have poured out their hearts, shared their joy and their pain, asked the hard questions and shared so much hard-earned wisdom, I am eternally grateful.
To all the amazing women and men who give their lives serving in the Pregnancy Care Centers around the world, you are truly the hands and feet of Jesus. May you be blessed beyond measure for your selfless love.
To my family, who have endured long absences and have always kept my feet on the ground. Without your support and understanding, these pages would not have been written. Love you so much.
Pam Stenzel
Contents
The Truth and Lies About Our Sexuality
MGM, MTV and MicrosoftWho Has Your Attention?
Peers and Partners
The Price Paid
1 Plus 1 Equals 3
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
The Heart's Broken Bonds
Where Do We Go from Here?
Rewriting Your Story
Romance Without Regrets
Introduction
What's the BigDeal?
Dear reader,
You live in a culture bombarded with sexual images and messages. From the moment you rise in the morning to the time you hit the pillow at night, messages about relationships and sex are thrown in your face. If you innocently turn on the radio to get ready in the morning, you hear Lady Gaga spewing, I want your ugly. I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it's free. Once you get to school, many of you sit through safe sex talks in health class and maybe even have school nurses that hand out condoms, promoting the lie that you can have physical relationships without consequences. Your magazine ads are pushing the boundaries of pornography, and sexually explicit television shows parade couples cheating, random hookups and teens trying to get pregnant, as though these actions are normal and won't harm your future. Nothing could be further from the truth.
With more than 30 years of combined experience, we have seen firsthand how today's lies have marred your generation. Approximately 23 years ago, Pam began counseling in pregnancy centers in the Minneapolis/st. Paul area. Sitting in the client room with young women and men facing unplanned pregnancies, hearing positive results from testing for a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and heartache from broken relationships, she heard time and time again, I didn't know. if somebody had told me this would happen to me, I would have made a different choice. After nine years of listening and learning from clients, Pam decided to transform defeat into victory and began delivering her Sex Has a Price Tag message to an international audience.
Melissa vowed 11 years ago, after watching countless tears fall and hearing the same comments from pregnancy center clients in south Dakota, that she would educate teens about the importance of abstinence in order to side-step lifelong pain and enjoy enduring healthy relationships. That vow led Melissa to work with Pam, and as a team they have communicated with teens and created abstinence curriculum for the last eight years.