David Hawkins - 19 Feb

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

CONTENTS

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Cover by John Hamilton Design

David Hawkins is represented by MacGregor Literary, Inc.

The material contained in this book is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or psychological condition.

In Sickness and in Health

Copyright 2019 David Hawkins

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97408

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-7420-2 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-7421-9 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hawkins, David, 1951- author. | Hawkins, Tyson, author. | Hawkins, Joshua, author.

Title: Is your marriage making you sick? / Dr. David Hawkins with Tyson Hawkins, MD, Joshua Hawkins, MD.

Description: Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2018017296 (print) | LCCN 2018018869 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736974219 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736974202 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: MarriagePsychological aspects. | Stress management. | Emotions. | Mind and body.

Classification: LCC HQ734 (ebook) | LCC HQ734 .H39195 2018 (print) | DDC 306.8101/9dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018017296

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To Christie, Jacqueline, and Jordana,

our wonderful wives,

who support and encourage us every day

to do the work we do!

C onnie is a busy 37-year-old mother of three. Her husband is a corporate executive with a large global company, which affords her the opportunity to stay home and homeschool the children. She has been active in her local homeschool organization until recently, when constant fatigue began to take a toll on her emotions. She began questioning her ability to provide what the children needed from her as their teacher.

They are bright and active, she said. Ive loved being able to homeschool them. But they tire me out, more than they should. I feel guilty that Im not doing more for them. I did a great job when they were younger, but it has become increasingly difficult to keep up with the curriculum and the kids since my health began going downhill.

Connie hasnt felt well for more than three years, but she has plowed forward. She came to me seeking counsel after seeing professionals in many areas of medicine.

Ive been to the emergency room twice in the past month, she said. Im exhausted from not sleeping well, having constant headaches, and chronic pain. Ive seen MDs, naturopaths, and even an acupuncturist, she said with exasperation. I never feel well, and I know Im letting my children and husband down. The doctors have not been much help, and after all the tests and all the appointments, nothing really clears up my problems. I never feel well.

This is a story Im hearing with much greater frequency, so Ive become more equipped to ask better questions. I ask more specifically about symptoms, womens journeys to find healing, and the profound discouragement and guilt they feel when answers arent found.

The medical doctors tend to want to prescribe drugs or refer me for more tests with another doctor. Thats why Im here. Theyve decided I need to consider this might all be in my head since they cant find anything specifically wrong with me. Ive gone from being angry at them to being angry with myself. So now I blame myself and feel guilty for everythingfrom the way Im schooling my children down to how I keep the house. I just want to know whats going on with me. Im not making this up. I can barely make it through the day. Are the doctors right? I dont know what to believe.

So what have you done to cope? I asked.

The only thing I know how to do. Ive gone on a search, mostly on the Internet, looking for what might be wrong.

And?

Well, the only thing that comes up over and over is stress. I am so embarrassed. Is it just stress? Who doesnt have stress in their lives? she asked.

Tell me a little about where you think you experience stress, I prompted.

Connie went on to tell me about her husband, Charles, and his constant criticism of her.

Nothing is good enough for him, she said. He runs our home like an extension of his job. Hes a bulldog. He always justifies his actions, blaming the kids and me for everything. Hes never wrong. Hes never satisfied. I find myself falling out of love with him and feel incredibly guilty about that. She paused, then quietly added, Oh, my gosh, I think my marriage is killing me.

Stress Is the Real Story

How could her marriage be killing her? This had to be hyperbole. I must admit that at first I wondered about women like Connie. Stress is stress, after all. Ive had a ton of stress in my life and never gotten sick from it. My sons, who cowrote this book with me, have experienced more stress in medical school and residencies than the average person, and theyve never gotten sick.