Chip Ingram - Marriage That Works: Gods Way of Becoming Spiritual Soul Mates, Best Friends, and Passionate Lovers

O ne Thursday night, I got an overpowering whiff of Brut cologne as Dave, my mentor, came down the stairs. Dave had been trained by the Navigators and had launched two successful campus ministries in West Virginia. He was a blue-collar guy who laid bricks for a living, but whose passion was discipling college students.

Dave wore a big smile and a tie and sport coatclothes I didnt even know he owned.

Whats going on? I asked him. Where are you going?

Im going on a date. He grinned.

With who?

Polly, of course. Who do you think?

I was shocked. Dave and Polly had four kidstwo in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary school. I had never seen my or anyone elses parents go on a date unless they had to chaperone a dance. My folks loved each other, of course, but they did not look at each other the way Dave and Polly did even after twenty years of marriage.

I had been around Dave and Polly for about five years, moving with them to a new city after college graduation to help them launch a campus discipleship ministry. While Dave worked, I taught high school, coached basketball, and lived in the garage apartment behind Daves house.

I had eaten more meals at their table than I can remember. I had seen their struggles. And I knew they really loved each other. But the picture of Dave coming down the stairs anticipating a date with his wife had an impact on me. It redefined what a marriage could be.

The Marriage God Wants for You

This book is about having that kind of marriage. Whether you and your mate are newlyweds or have been married for decades, God has designed this unique relationship to, over time, produce best friends, passionate lovers, and spiritual soul mates.

Best friends, passionate lovers, spiritual soul mates. That is the kind of marriage God wants for you and your mate. This is not hyperbole. It isnt idealism. Its a real possibility, regardless of where you and your spouse find yourselves.

Dont get me wrong. This isnt easy. It will require some knowledge that most people dont have, some skills everyone can learn, and a lot of grace , which God promises to provide.

It will also require setting aside some assumptions youve made about marriage, as well as mustering up the courage to honestly examine where your marriage isand where you want it to be.

Paying a High Price

If youre thinking Im one of those pastors from a long line of wonderful ministers who have had wonderful marriages and wonderful childrensomeone who has never had any problems, cant understand your marriage or your issues, and just wants to tell you how to do things the right wayyou need to know thats not the case.

The kind of marriage I have with my wife is far better than I ever dreamed, but the price has been higher than I ever imagined. I dont mean to sound harsh about that; Im just being honest.