Jimmy Evans - The Keys to Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage: Creating an Atmosphere of Sexual Pleasure in Your Marriage

God created the institution of marriage, as recorded in the second chapter of Genesis. He created it in a paradise called Eden, meaning pleasure and delights. From the very beginning, God designed marriage to be an intimate union between a man and a woman that would be filled and fueled by sexual pleasure and delight.

We must remember that sex is Gods creation and that His desire is for us to enjoy it to its fullest within the parameters of marriage.

We must also remember that all of the scriptural prohibitions against sexual sin and perversions are not given by God to keep us from having fun or being fulfilled. Every warning from God concerning sex in marriage is to keep us from destruction.

Gods motive is love, not legalism. Even though many people in our society boast of their sexual freedoms as they violate the warnings of Scripture, their lives prove that the penalty of sin is still death.

We live in a sexually permissive society marked by rampant sexually transmitted diseases, adultery, broken relationships, broken hearts, and broken dreams.

These devastating effects of sexual sin are what God is trying to keep us from experiencing when He warns us about certain types of sexual behavior. His moral commandments arent meant to spoil our sexual pleasure.

They are safeguards to ensure that our sexual fun and fulfillment can last for a lifetime in a secure and growing relationship.

Even though the fallen world and the devil try to accuse God and His Word of being anti-sex, we must remember that God created sex and that He is the One who made it so exciting and pleasurable.

This is a very important truth for us to understand and accept. If we dont understand this, we are set up to be deceived into believing that we must visit the realm of sin to really experience sexual pleasure and fulfillment. This is a common deception, and there are even many Christians who believe it.

In counseling over the years, I cant count the number of couples I have seen who have ended up devastated or divorced because one or both of them crossed the line sexually and ended up paying a huge price. Their road to ruin began with believing the common deception that Gods sexual parameters are unfair and that sexual sin would enhance their lives without negative results.

The truth is, sex in marriage is wonderful. God wants us to enjoy it to its fullest. Many people wonder if a truly spiritual person should think about sex and enjoy it without reservation.

Again, this is the type of thinking the devil loves and wants us to accept. He wants us to believe that if we are good Christians, we just wont be very sexual. This is the opposite of the truth. God created us with a threefold nature: body, soul, and spirit.

Being spiritual doesnt mean we deny reality or the inherent nature God created within us. It means that we turn every area of our lives to the lordship of Christ and fulfill His desire for us (see Appendix 1 for more details about surrendering your life to Christ).

Gods desire for our bodies is that we are blessed and fulfilled. This includes the area of sex. God isnt so cruel that He would give us a desire and then frustrate it.

God is a good God. He creates beautiful things and wants us to enjoy them. Marriage was the first institution God created. In His original design of marriage in Genesis chapter two, God created Adam and Eve with a beautiful nakedness in a paradise of pleasure.

They were created by God to enjoy sex in an intimate marriage relationship. Sin, not God, ruined Eden and caused Adam and Eve to fall from Gods perfect plan.

Today, sin and deception are still causing people to forfeit the beauty and pleasure of sexual fulfillment in marriage available to all of us.

If we will simply accept the fact that God loves us and wants us to enjoy sex for the rest of our lives within the parameters of a committed marriage, we can begin to experience true and lasting sexual fulfillment.

This is the reason I am writing this booklet. I want to help you experience Gods best for your life and marriage in the area of sex. I also want to help you avoid some of the common pitfalls and problems of sex in marriage.

Therefore, in the remainder of this booklet, I will explain five important keys to help you experience sexual fulfillment in your marriage.

Jimmy Evans

{ key #1 }

understand the sexual differences between men and women

When Karen and I first got married, I was completely ignorant concerning the inherent sexual differences between us. In addition to my ignorance, I had also been deceived by pornography, locker-room lies, and the medias portrayals of sex.

It was a sexual problem waiting for a place to happen. Therefore, when Karen and I married, even though we were attracted to each other and had an active sex life, there was a great deal of frustration on both sides because of wrong sexual expectations.

It took years before we finally understood our differences and began to respect them. As we grew in these areas, our sexual intimacy and pleasure increased dramatically.

No longer were we placing unrealistic expectations on each other or expecting one another to act in a way outside of our natures. Here are some of the important things we learned that can help you succeed in sexually relating to your spouse:

a.) Men are visually stimulated, and women are emotionally stimulated.

Women are by no means blind as it relates to sex, but they have a much greater capacity for responding to emotional stimulation. This is hard for men to understand.

Because of this, many men dont take the time to talk to their wives and patiently meet their emotional and romantic needs. This lack of emotional support costs men dearly in the area of sex.

Every man must realize that his wife isnt going to turn on sexually just because he takes his clothes off. Women turn on because their husbands talk to them throughout the day and pay attention to them.

Women rarely respond to sex beyond the state of their emotions. This doesnt mean that a woman cant give herself to her husband sexually if she doesnt feel like it. It simply means that her emotional nature is an integral part of her sexuality.